Gracey

I am going to my youngest daughter's Christmas concert tonight, I dont know if my MIL know's about it or not I havent mentioned it to her........the last two days on purpose, before that not on purpose......

Do you see how mean I am.........I dont want to tell her cause I dont want her to go......

gelfling

Hiya Gracey,

You're her Mom...at her age, you hope to choose who she associates with. And if you decide you don't want anyone that would be a bad influence in her life, that's your priviledge.

Kathy

Magichappens

I don't know if that is mean, or self preservation. I have family members that I don't associate with because they seem to wreak havoc any time they are involved in my life. I have a choice. Other members of my family think I am a cold B****, and have told me so. They can think what they want. I have a choice about preserving my serenity. Hugs, Magic

Petunia

The best piece of advice I got this week was "What other people think of me is none of my business".

All I can offer is that I've been trying to put this to work this week and it seems to be bringing some moments of peace.

Enjoy the concert -
Petunia

abtchonamission

Gracey,

I've had MIL issues this week myself, that really drove me nuts. I wish I had the opportunity NOT to have had her around causing grief for everyone who comes in contact with her.

I don't know your situation well, but I will say this - there is nothing wrong with not wanting her to go. There is nothing wrong with you wanting this time for yourself. Not one thing. If you want to have a good time, private time, peaceful time enjoying your child, that is YOUR choice.

Hugs,
Trisha

Peaches04

Gracey, stop berating yourself sweetie! that's not mean... you think your MIL is a bad influence, and that's okay to feel that way! If you don't want her to go because she will make you anxious, that's okay too! if you don't want her to go because the sight of her makes you sick, that's okay! Whatever the reason - it's okay... the last word i would use to describe you is "mean". you are you...and you don't want her there. That's all - no big deal. Easy!

Gracey

Peaches:

Thank you, Everyone thank you......

She does all of the above and I dont want to see her.....

Gracey

Do you ever wish that sometimes you could be as callous as the A in your life.......

The I dont care attitude what anyone thinks.......I am so the opposite, I care way too much what other people think......

I am working on changing that.

abtchonamission

Gracey,

I find that I seem to have "swings" - I'll get to a point that I"m too concerned about others opinions, and then, I'll find a whole other point where I am so far gone the opposite way NOT caring ONE BIT about what ANYONE thinks, that I end up scaring myself.

I think what I"ll do, after thinking about your post, is just simply try to find my middle ground -the point where I can brush off the other people's opinions, but still manage to find compassion for others within myself.

Thanks for giving me something to think about.

Hugs
Trisha