A Sensitive Subject
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
A Sensitive Subject
I know this is a sensitive subject, but I just gotta know if anyone else is experiencing what I am.
My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He's in recovery right now (thank GOD!) and doing well. Is going to therapy.
When he was actively drinking, he couldn't "perform" sexually with me because of the alcohol. Now that he's sober, he's able to, but not for long. He says it's a lack of circulation and he's had it for years. But, I know he's capable of getting an erection, but it goes away quickly and before he can "complete the act".
Is this a physical thing or mental or both? Has anyone ever experienced this before?
*sorry, I don't mean to embarrass anyone*
My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He's in recovery right now (thank GOD!) and doing well. Is going to therapy.
When he was actively drinking, he couldn't "perform" sexually with me because of the alcohol. Now that he's sober, he's able to, but not for long. He says it's a lack of circulation and he's had it for years. But, I know he's capable of getting an erection, but it goes away quickly and before he can "complete the act".
Is this a physical thing or mental or both? Has anyone ever experienced this before?
*sorry, I don't mean to embarrass anyone*
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Jasper, GA
Posts: 239
Don't worry, GF...
...I imagine things will get better.
I'm a recovering alcoholic who experienced the same thing. The physical effects of alcoholism take a while to subside, but they usually do. It can take as much as a year for all the side effects to clear out of his system.
BubbaBob
I'm a recovering alcoholic who experienced the same thing. The physical effects of alcoholism take a while to subside, but they usually do. It can take as much as a year for all the side effects to clear out of his system.
BubbaBob
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
If he is having depression issues right now that will definately effect it. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or then he will possibly develop a complex as well. Give it some time and if it still is a problem talk to your doctor about it.
Hoping you find Happy Trails soon,
Ms. B
Hoping you find Happy Trails soon,
Ms. B
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 46
Mine is the same way. He also has diabetes, and erectile dysfunction is a side effect of diabetes. But I am glad(?!) to know that maybe if it is actually caused by years of drinking, it might come back some. Of course, if he doesn't stop drinking, I could become a nun! Viagra is our next step. I don't want to have sex with him when he's been drinking anyway, so I don't, but the physical effects of chronic alcoholism don't go away just because the person isn't currently drunk! Ah, the wonders of alcoholism!
SJW
SJW
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
caffine, coke, pepsi, coffee, alcohol.
If he is getting close to or over 40...age and general health can start to affect things.
When 20 and loaded almost to a point of passing out... Well the alcohol was to blame. medicines and things like alcohol or caffine can have a big part in things as well.
If a problem, he could see a Dr for some explainations and possible solutions. None chemical solutions (no pills) such as a proper diet can do wonders.
At age 49 I have started to look into such matters, just in case.
If he is willing to talk about it...great
If he is shy about talking... be understanding in how you share what you feel you need talk about. For some guys, accepting that things just don't work as they once did is tuff on the ego and emotions.
Solutions are out there and as able ... talking things over between you both can bring solutions as well.
If he is getting close to or over 40...age and general health can start to affect things.
When 20 and loaded almost to a point of passing out... Well the alcohol was to blame. medicines and things like alcohol or caffine can have a big part in things as well.
If a problem, he could see a Dr for some explainations and possible solutions. None chemical solutions (no pills) such as a proper diet can do wonders.
At age 49 I have started to look into such matters, just in case.
If he is willing to talk about it...great
If he is shy about talking... be understanding in how you share what you feel you need talk about. For some guys, accepting that things just don't work as they once did is tuff on the ego and emotions.
Solutions are out there and as able ... talking things over between you both can bring solutions as well.
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
First, you are not alone. There are a lot of people who have sexual problems in their relationships with alcoholics. Age, general health, emotional well being are all factors. Men at age 40 who have drank and used for a long period of time have a big effect on their sexual drive. That, coupled with emotional issues of early sobriety, can cause someone to be less active and have problems.
If your husband is seeking help, things can improve. It takes time, and patience. Realizing they will never be 18 again is important too. Women hit their sexual peek about the time that men are tapering off. I personally think that is a shame, but I think back to the time he wanted it a lot more than I did. It's a joke nature plays on us.
There are a lot of books on sexual dysfunction that can help us understand and learn to improve the situation. There are doctors that can evaluate and treat sexual dysfunction and general health issues that can cause it. If you give it time, and things don't improve, you may want to look into it. Hugs, Magic
If your husband is seeking help, things can improve. It takes time, and patience. Realizing they will never be 18 again is important too. Women hit their sexual peek about the time that men are tapering off. I personally think that is a shame, but I think back to the time he wanted it a lot more than I did. It's a joke nature plays on us.
There are a lot of books on sexual dysfunction that can help us understand and learn to improve the situation. There are doctors that can evaluate and treat sexual dysfunction and general health issues that can cause it. If you give it time, and things don't improve, you may want to look into it. Hugs, Magic
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In my own world...
Posts: 444
Have you ever been to one of those Love Stores? If he can get an erection there are things you can buy to maintain them. I won't go into graphic detail but I'm sure you'll know what I mean. 
If not they can help you find them.
If not they can help you find them.
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
I don't have a problem 
Smoking doesn't help thou.
Dose he thinks he's a porn star and wants to pound his manlyhood
into you.
Dose he takes showers after sex like it's a dirty thing?
Personally for me , as much as of a good lover I thought I was.
Living with a nimfo fueled that even more.
Most guys just don't know how or was self educated in this issue.
Of course when we talk to guys about it . It's all hot becuase
of our manlyhood issues. We can go all day and all night for weeks.lol
I had to learn and grow(lol), like any other issues.
Of course I had to get books. I'm a guy .lol
Take suggestions, applied them. It works if you work it.
Communications and willing to listen and follow directions.(from her)
I"M ON A STRAIGHT PEPPER DIET, and I know she ain't faking it.
Smoking doesn't help thou.
Dose he thinks he's a porn star and wants to pound his manlyhood
into you.
Dose he takes showers after sex like it's a dirty thing?
Personally for me , as much as of a good lover I thought I was.
Living with a nimfo fueled that even more.
Most guys just don't know how or was self educated in this issue.
Of course when we talk to guys about it . It's all hot becuase
of our manlyhood issues. We can go all day and all night for weeks.lol
I had to learn and grow(lol), like any other issues.
Of course I had to get books. I'm a guy .lol
Take suggestions, applied them. It works if you work it.
Communications and willing to listen and follow directions.(from her)
I"M ON A STRAIGHT PEPPER DIET, and I know she ain't faking it.
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