2getheryetalone

It perfectly showcases how we (those in relationships with an alcoholic) wind up staying with the alcoholic. I loved that they show domestic violence doesn't just mean physical abuse. How many of us have been at the other end of an angry drunk who's throwing objects or punching holes in walls? And how easy it is to fall right back into it! It was like watching all my mistakes from the outside when I watched this show. Anyone else?

sotired77

I felt the same way!! I was yelling a ton of advice at the tv (“no! don’t go back!” “stay no contact”) and at the same time I realized that I make the same mistakes and I don’t take my own advice. On the other hand, it’s truly inspiring. If she can do it, then I certainly can.

dandylion

2gether.....thank you for mentioning it! I had just ordered the book. It just arrived 2 days ago, and I haven't started the book, yet. I had ordered the book because I saw a review that it was about a young woman---a single mother who was trying to make ends meet by cleaning homes
I did ;not realize that it addressed domestic violence, in addition. Now, I am more anxious than ever to begin reading the book.

Leftinthedust

I’m into the third episode. It’s good and parts of it are really well done. I’m dreading the upcoming legal part of it (in my life) and can feel the pain of the character in the show!

2getheryetalone

The heartbreaking realization that she fell for it in the end. I just know that feeling so well. It hits like a ton of bricks when you realize it's happening again.

sage1969

I had avoided starting watching this because I figured it was going to be somewhat triggering for me (just like I avoid watching things centered around alcohol, drugs, violence). I watched a couple episodes today, and while it might help someone who needs it understand DV better, I just couldn't get through any more of it.

I think if it's meant to be educational or helpful, it could be more explicitly so, as far as modeling how to get help (a glaring ommission was the admission to a DV shelter without a proper intake which normally includes an assessment for health issues, legal / custody issues, etc), or listing / mentioning resources (like local or national DV hotlines).

Otherwise, it seems like a perpetuation of normalising alcoholism and DV in popular culture, and I've changed my story too much to allow back in that kind of imagery or energy, however entertaining or fictional shows are meant to be.

Just my two cents . . .

ItsNotYou2

I watched the whole thing. It was eerily similar to my experience as an ACOA with an NPD enabler parent and as a single parent. I thought the resources listed were excellent, and I thought the writing and acting were well done.

Some normies in my own life think this is a contrived Hollywood story with exaggerations, but it resonated with me.

seekingcalm

I just finished watching all of the episodes, and although it made me uncomfortable and was very difficult to watch, I had to see it through. I thought it illustrated well that it's not only the alcoholic who has to reach a bottom before things change...loved ones of those alcoholics have to reach their own bottom as well.
I am grateful to be in a place where I was able to see the pitfalls, and I too found myself speaking to the tv and the young single mother throughout. As I said, hard to watch, but a good portrayal of the insanity and the emotional damage that alcoholism brings to a family.

Spiderweb

Watched it all, painful but realistic portrayal of what it can be like. His yelling, remorse, trying to do better then repeating the cycle was very familiar to me. My XAH never threw anything or touched me but his emotional abuse and harassment was DV, I know that thanks to my counselor. Hopefully now this show brings it to light for a broader audience and can help women and families understand how damaging this kind of relationship can be, even if there aren’t any bruises.
I also liked how they showed him as such a well-liked guy- nobody would suspect him of being a total s-bag to his family! This was my situation. Charmer by day, drunk jerk by night. I hope this show helps women feel not so alone and gives them courage to reach out if they need help.

Kokoro

I watched maid a week after I broke up with my ex. It was a sobering (hah pun) experience and I saw an awful lot of the behaviour and words my ex was using. He may not have punched me yet but he did start punching the table when he relapsed. The charm, the sweetness and the abuse...yup it really captured the alcoholic amazingly. Triggered a bit but it made me think about my potential future.

venuscat

For me, it was a double whammy. So so emotional....a fantastic show.
And we can talk about the end after everyone has finished it....wow....

I am a recovering alcoholic and the job I did when I got sober was house cleaning.
I can still feel the overwhelm that I got every time I walked into a mansion with more stuff than all of us put together needed.
I still remember how it felt to be condescended to over a smudge on a table, or a leaf on the floor.

This tv show has a lot of pain.....and despair....but so much hope too.
And then of course there is the wonderful fact that Margaret Qualley is really Andy McDowell's daughter.

advbike

I can't watch emotional dramas - it feels too intense. And I hate violence. As a result there are nights I literally can't find much of interest on Netflix. So much of it is violent or heavy on the emotional drama. Sometimes I have to watch shows in small bits at a time, lol.. I'm not exactly why this bothers me so much - I do self-identify as an empath - I experience emotions really strongly, but there must also be unresolved pain from my chaotic childhood, and the later adult relationships. It took me a long time to realize I was codependent.

I just like peace and calm for the most part now, and have tailored my environment accordingly. Based on what I have read here I won't be watching the series

trailmix

I didn't know she was Andie's Daughter! That's interesting venus.

I just finished it, it was intense and emotional and very well portrayed.

I'll put the rest in a spoiler box just so I don't ruin it for anyone who hasn't finished watching it (you can click on the plus sign to open it)
.

Anyway, just some things they said that I thought were really relatable to what we discuss here.