WheredIGo

Hi everyone. I hope you find things that give you peace and happiness today!

In my last post I mentioned that I had talked to AH calmly about if he ever planned on going to AA-more to plant a seed that there is help out there-and asking him why there was so much pot in the garage.

After that discussion, he stopped drinking for 4 days as far as I know and I believe that is true. BTW I didn't ask him to stop during that convo. He didn't tell me he stopped drinking but he didn't around here and I could tell by his snippy comments to me, sighing, and even not talking to me while we were in the same room.

Yesterday he was drinking again (not to the stumbling point but actually drank some in the house with a friend and he was all happy and nice).

So usually we don't sleep in the same room but his friend is staying here from yesterday until tomorrow so we are in the same room overnight. I noticed for a good hour after he fell asleep that every 30 seconds to maybe 4 minutes his right leg would jerk. His foot would turn inward when this happened.

So I turned on my online doctor mode, lol, and from googling that it appears to be periodic limb movements disorder. It said one way to help it is to stop drinking alcohol so I'm assuming this is alcohol related?

A couple questions. Has anyone experienced this with their alcoholic? Could it be related to him not drinking for a few days like maybe a withdrawal thing even though he did drink some yesterday before it happened?

I haven't even told him about it yet. Since we'll be sleeping in the same room again tonight, I'll see if it happens again. After the leg movements mostly quit then he started snoring loudly so I'm one very tired person today.

I need to learn more about withdrawal and what things are like from the alcoholic's perspective going through this. I'll add that to my ever growing list of things to work on.

Thank you!

StephEgan

I guess anything is possible, but many people have myochlonus at the start of sleep so it could also just have been that. Did it continue all night or just happen in the first little while after going to bed?

WheredIGo

Hi Steph,
It went on for at least an hour.

PeacefulWater12

Or you could focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Use your time and energy to work on you.

Do you have any nice plans for the weekend? I am enjoying the sunshine here in the UK.

WheredIGo

Yes I could and should.
With him not being aware of it with being asleep I'm just trying to figure out if it's something I should make him aware of. If it's just something that has to do with his addictions I wouldn't bother because that isn't going to change any time soon if ever.
Thank you for the reminder.

PeacefulWater12

You are welcome. Please go do something nice for yourself. Enjoy your day.

dandylion

WheredIGo…….since it seems to be fairly common---even in apparently healthy people, and it doesn't bother him and he isn't even aware of it....if it were me, I wouldn't even mention it.

I concur with Peaceful water, also. I know you mentioned making a "to-do" list for YOUR future self. Maybe, you could work on taking certain baby steps toward that.
I have found that if I do actually make a list on paper, I eventually get it done...lol.
I think that alanon would be a really good benefit for you. How much freedom of movement do you have---like does he watch your every miove?
You were concerned about whether he would get "mad" or not.
What is the worst thing that would happen if he gets "mad"? Will the locusts come? Will the cows stop giving milk? Will the well go dry?
****However, if he has ever been physically violent. you will need to handle your situation in a different way*****

I know that being so concerned for the alcoholic that it is a hard hard habit to break----one has to work hard on detaching.....

WheredIGo

Thank you, I will let it go.
The worst thing he's ever done is thrown a chair across the room but not at me so I'll be fine. Adding more tenseness and friction is just a weight but it won't keep me from working on me.
Just overwhelmed today. Putting up with the roller coaster with him this past week, my sister was here from out of state and then that went into his friend visiting and I'm way out of my routine. Nowhere to hide I guess.

dandylion

WheredIgo……..Yes, I understand that having visitors for a long time can feel draining. It takes energy. Can you ever get out of the house away from him?
lol....well, it is a blessing that the cows are still giving milk.

WheredIGo

I like it better when he gets out of the house away from me but yes I can. He does get weird about it sometimes though but I call him on it when he does. I remember him getting enraged last fall when I took the leaves down to the city where they go instead of just throwing them in the garbage but I set him straight on that and he ended up apologizing. I did go visit a friend a couple weeks ago and I could tell he was feeling weird about that but didn't say anything.
Some of the most stupid stuff gets criticized but that's part of why I'm working on all this. Trying to tear away from his control I didn't even see gradually happening over the years. And I know some of that goes the other way too.
BTW-I did make out that to-do-list. I plan to start working on it Monday.
Thanks for all of your help!

dandylion

Good!

StephEgan

My 9 yo does that too ... she does have a peripheral nervous system disease tho.

WheredIGo

Bless her! Hugs too you both.