In Limbo - Dealing with Drinking and Depression
 

I first posted here in mid-June, a few months after a blow-up fight with my husband. He'd been drinking excessively during the pandemic, started engaging in other addictive behaviors and things came to a head. In May we came to an agreement. He was not going to drink and he'd work with a therapist and his doctor around his mental health. He takes medication for depression and the pandemic and his drinking has done a number on his mental health.

He stopped drinking in mid-May and started working with a therapist.

Since that time I feel like I've been living in limbo. I'm not sure why I'm posting here now. I guess I want to tell someone familiar with this experience what things have been like. I don't want to feel alone in this experience.

Honestly, It's been hard. Seeing him depressed has been especially difficult. When he's depressed he's angry, agitated, and short tempered, then he isolates, and he's very tired. At worst he expresses feeling suicidal (he tells me, which is good, and has the hotline in his phone).

That's been a lot to live with. It can feel overwhelming. I'm now working with a therapist too. Of course this means that all the day-to-day stuff falls on me. I'm so tired of housework. And it can feel lonely, too. It's almost like I don't have a husband.

For a couple of months he didn't drink at all, to my knowledge. Then, in the past few weeks there've been 3 times when he drank with friends.

First, he drank with friends after a game. He told me the next day that he had two beers. That time I didn't notice anything different about him.

Next, he went to celebrate a co-workers last day. The next day I noticed he was angry and wanted to isolate. This is his typical depressive behavior. I asked him if he drank, he acknowledged he did, and brushed it off saying "I only had a couple of beers." I pointed out his depressive behavior.

The third time he went to a friend's birthday party. I again noticed he was angry and wanted to isolate the next day. I pointed out his behavior and the pattern. I told him when you drink then the next day you're angry and want to isolate, then you hate yourself and feel depressed. This time he said, "I think you're right. I see it".

I'm hopeful that now he's starting to recognizes how drinking is impacting his mental health. I want to believe he sees and feels how drinking is hurting him.

I'm also fearful that he is playing along and telling me what I want to hear. It's hard for me to imagine he couldn't see the correlation. Though I know depression clouds his thought process.

Thinking of him as an alcoholic is new to the both of us. In the past he's had periods when he drank too much for a time. He's also had periods where he has stopped drinking for months. This time feels different. I think his excessive drinking for a prolonged period of time (2020!) has shifted something.

Thanks for letting me post this here. Just having a place to put this makes a difference.

Depression and alcohol can make each other much worse. Alcohol is a drug that depresses or slows down the system. People with depression self - medicate by drinking to numb their pain, but what they are doing is making their depression even worse.

It's good your husband is seeing a therapist; it sounds like he needs more aggressive and integrated treatment for both depression and alcoholism. And it's entirely possible he's not being entirely honest with his healthcare team.

Alcoholism is progressive, and it can look differently in different people. Just because your husband goes through periods of time when he doesn't drink, doesn't mean he's not an alcoholic. It means he needs to not drink *and* be in recovery. And this is a lot to ask of someone with severe depression which is why a more integrated treatment of both conditions would be really helpful.

It might be helpful for you to consider how you feel about all this -- you said it was a lot to handle and that you're seeing your own therapist. This is a good start. You might want to learn more about codependency. (A good book to read about this is Codependent No More). It will take some pretty strong boundaries on your part for your husband to work a program of recovery, and ways which you might enable him could be something that you identify then work to change.

It is extremely lonely, and some might say right now you don't have a husband because of his focus on alcohol. If you can, go to AlAnon meetings, or continue to post here. Support really helps.

Glad you are expressing your feelings. I encourage you to put your focus on yourself and your own wellbeing.

You mention you are concerned he is just "playing along" and telling you what he thinks you want to hear. If your gut instinct is telling you this, it is most likely right. My late AH used to do that, it is very common with drinkers. Basically a way of getting people off their back.

Fauxfern I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. When I say I felt your words, I mean that literally--it brought me to tears because I am going through something so similar but with my adult son (he lives with me). After two years of spending every single day hoping he lived through it, he finally got some help about a month ago. His biggest battle with alcohol is also depression and he has battled that for more than a decade. After being a nearly daily drinker he spent 12 days sober, then 10, and I guess today will be day 19 and his depression is bad! He isn't angry but he self-isolates and that is even more frightening to me. He has a recovery doctor, his PCP, a therapist and a psychiatrist but he has always been medication resistant and it leaves me terrified as he too has a history of suicidal ideation. I began working on my co-dependence about the same time he began working on his recovery and this new piece (escalating depression) is making it very challenging for me. I'm trying to take care of myself but I catch myself holding my breath every day--figuratively and literally. I do realize I have no control over this situation but this is my child and it is devastating to watch. Having co-dependent issues makes it harder.

So all of that to say you are not alone in what you are experiencing or feeling--and neither is your husband. I hope that he will lean on the professionals for his mental health issues. There are so many potential combinations of medications, everyone is different, and none of it is quick unfortunately--as I said, my son has been trying medication for a decade and we still haven't found the magic potion that will work. I know there is an answer though---but I have no idea what it is. Sometimes I wonder if the answer lies less in medication and more in therapy but ultimately it probably takes both.

I hope you continue to post here. I'm fairly new to these forums but I've read A LOT and it helps. I've shared a lot of things I've learned with my son too---even that depression following quitting drinking isn't unusual (with or without a history). Sometimes I don't really know how much he takes from what I share, but other times I see it---that quick glimpse of surprise, or reassurance, or just acknowledgment. No matter what, you really do have to take care of yourself---and that can be really hard to do. Baby steps are still steps. Oh and if you haven't, read the book (Codependent No More)--I'm re-reading it now. I read it a really long time ago and was not dealing with addiction in my life at that time so I found it hard to relate to (I read it because a friend read it and found it life changing) but this time around it is filled with highlights and notes. I'm not that great at applying it yet (trying) but understanding why I do things--where that comes from--has completely changed my perspective.

A couple of things here, ff.

First: I learned here that what a person says means very little. It's all about what they do. Regardless of what he's telling you, what he's doing is drinking.

Second: It's not in any way your place to "point out" to him ANYTHING about his issues. They are just that, HIS issues. The Alanon term for what you need to be doing is "staying in your lane." It's up to him, his therapist and his doctor to work out his recovery plan, and then it's on HIM to actually DO those things. You are not a part of that equation. Your job is YOU. Another gem of wisdom I heard here is "when you change the things you look at, the things you look at change." You will find that as your own mental health improves, your perspective will indeed change.

Third: As regards him "seeing a pattern"--when I'd once again found that my XAH was drinking, he'd pretty reliably start to cry, tell me he was "sick and needed help", and make plans to go to a meeting at some future date. That would shut me up for a while. In fact, he pretended to go to meetings, even making up stories about newcomers who were there that day and what the topic of discussion was, for well over a year. And during all of this, I felt I couldn't say or do anything b/c gosh, look at all he's doing to stay sober! I hadn't yet learned that unacceptable is unacceptable, whatever the cause or perceived cause of it is. I'm going to guess that your A's "moment of insight" is something similar to XAH's behavior.

The last thing I want to mention, and this may have already been said, is that it's very important that both of the therapists involved here should be experienced in dealing with alcoholism. Many of the things we intuitively feel to be true are turned on their heads in that kind of situation, and you'll want someone who can help you through that. In your A's case, you'll want someone who won't buy into the line of BS he/she is almost certain to be fed.

I'd like to recommend that you give Alanon a try. It's free and it's full of people who speak your language b/c either they've been where you are or they're there now. There are a lot of Alanon books available for very reasonable prices if you check used book sellers or Amazon (of course Alanon has them new also if that's the route you prefer). Alanon and SR were a powerful combo for me in the early days. I haven't been to Alanon recently, but I still visit SR for my "booster shot" of hope and wisdom.

Best wishes, ff.

My AH also struggles with depression and suicidal ideation, it is a difficult and terrifying combo. I want to break this into two parts:

1: It's good he's going to therapy and a doctor, but it is likely he'll need more intensive care to make true progress. Of course he needs to be the one to see and accept that, then seek it out. You can't force him. Additionally, it sounds like he also struggles with post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) which is common in recovering alcoholics, and can last up to two years. It could help to explain (though not excuse his actions) some of his intense cravings and irritability. Past that though, his attitude sounds more like a dry drunk than recovery. When he hides and minimizes what he's had, he's still protecting his addiction.

2: For you, your focus should switch to yourself. It's very overwhelming to try to care for an AH, and often is traumatic. Feeling lonely, exhausted, overwhelmed and irritable yourself are very normal responses to your own stress and trauma. Someone on here mentioned the term "compassion fatigue" and it was a very apt description of the toll caring for an addict can take. I agree with the others that seeking out your own therapy, support group, and wellness routine is essential to maintaining your sanity. Al-anon is a great resource, but not the only one. Sometimes the rehab facilities your partner uses will have programs for families of the addict, there are servers in discord and zoom where people meet regularly, communities in here and on reddit if you prefer text, etc. One of the upsides of addiction being so common is that you're not alone in this. There are tons of people out there to talk to, and resources to reach out to for your own support

^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^(and everything else Honeypig posted.)

I am so sorry for what brings you here.
If your husband were TRULY abstaining from alcohol and working a program, it would be hard enough for you guys. The two of you would have to be in recovery. Sometimes, marriages don't survive this process.

With your husband still drinking, and likely hiding it from you, this is a no-win situation.
Some of us continue to live with an active alcoholic for years. My personal boundary on this issue, is that I won't live with someone who drinks AT ALL. Whatever you choose, we are here to support you.

Thank you everyone for sharing your personal stories, insights, and suggestions. It so helpful to feel heard and to not feel alone in this. I'm grateful for your thoughts.

My husband is working with a "temporary" therapist, someone who can see him until the psychologist who partners with his medical doctor is available in late September, then he'll be part of a more intensive team approach. Waiting has been hard for him (for me too) and I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't been completely honest with the current therapist, not because he doesn't want help but because it's temporary. I know he's shared he's feeling suicidal and very depressed, that's how he's come to have a temp therapist instead of just being put on a waiting list. I don't know if he's talking about his drinking, or if he is talking about it how honest he's being.

I'm trying to maintain boundaries. I don't ask him what he's working on in therapy. That helps with my mental health and, I hope, helps convey to him that this is his responsibility. His therapy is his business. I told him his job was to work on his drinking and depression. This is his work to do.

Honestly, though, I'm struggling to balance maintaining my boundaries while also making sure he's not suicidal. It's so much. So much! It's one thing to have a firm boundary around his drinking but it is so much harder when his depression is this significant. I feel like he's hanging on the edge of a cliff and I can't in good conscious just turn away.

I do a check-in conversation pretty regularly, asking things to see how he feels and if he's connected with others - "how are you feeling?" "how the depression?" "When did you last call your family?" "When did you last talk to your friend?." I have taken to telling him, "no drinking," if he is going anywhere other than work. I want to stop saying that, I know its driven by my fear of him feeling suicidal if he does drink. I know I'm not able to control or stop him from drinking. This feels like a codependent behavior, its a role and responsibility I don't want but I do it because I feel scared.

I understand the importance to "stay in your lane" and to let him manage his recovery. But, at this point, I'm not sure he's in recovery, knows he needs to be in recovery, or even has the brain space to consider being in recovery. I don't know where the line is when he's this depressed and has never truly considered working on his drinking.

I know there is a direct correlation between his drinking and depression. I'm sure he's was using alcohol to self-medicate this past year to manage anxiety and depression (truthfully, I was too) but I don't know if he sees this patten.

Honest question. Why not communicate what I observe to him? If I, the person who he's closest to and who lives with him, is not pointing this out to him, and his brain is not working because of depression, then how is he to "see" this? How would he be able to share this with a therapist or doctor if he's not mentally in a spot where he is self-aware? Also, isn't family part of the care team? These are genuine questions. I'm not trying to challenge what you've shared, I'm trying to understand.

Thanks for referencing Al-Anon, I'm aware and have looked at dates/time for meetings. Thanks also for recommending Codependent No More, I'm requesting it from the library. I've been reading a few memoirs from folks in recovery and more research related books on alcohol and sobriety. I'm scheduling a massage and trying to plan one fun thing for myself each weekend.

You posted:

So really, that answers your question. He sees it, he thinks you are right.

You did communicate it and that's not a bad thing, maybe even helpful. Telling him once is attempting to help, telling him 3 or 4 times is just you willing him to change it. You told him, he sees it, doesn't mean he wants or doesn't want to do anything about it. Doesn't mean he feels he can do anything about it.

And that's where it gets sketchy when the person closest to the alcoholic is intervening. So now you have this information. You see a pattern, you tell him, he agrees with you, now what? You can't treat this, you don't know how to "fix" it, so where do you go from there.

You do this, it equals this, see how much sense that makes and how it's hurting you - now stop doing it.

That's not happening. Is he depressed because of the drinking, was he depressed before he started drinking or did drinking bring on depression. These are all unknowns and he needs professional help to sort this out, this is not something a family member can help with. You can point out the obvious, but that doesn't treat it and he's just left with an observation.

Telling him not to drink before he leaves the house, asking him "how are you feeling?" "how the depression?" "When did you last call your family?" "When did you last talk to your friend?." These, aside from the how are you feeling question, are questions you might ask a child. See how it creeps in to codependency territory here, you are way way over on his side of the street.

If your intent is to stay in this relationship with him, no matter what, then it's best to leave it to the professionals to treat him. You can be there for him, you can listen to him, you can love him, but you can't treat him.

Therapists are trained to see these things.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience Lynn and your thoughts on self-care and learning. I'm sorry to hear about your son's struggle with mental illness and addiction. I don't have any words of wisdom to share. Going through this with my my husband is so, so, so hard, I can only imagine its even more painful going through this with your child. I'm holding you in my thoughts.

Yes, baby steps are still steps! I'm going to put that on a post-it on my desk. I just keep telling myself that people do recover. This is not impossible, yes its hard, but recovery and good mental health is possible.

When he is ready to see things, he will see them.

And really, it isn't about "seeing" the things you are pointing out to him that you observe. He very likely already sees them. It is about him accepting those things and deciding his own wellbeing is worth trying to address them. An addict's default position on the effect that their addiction is having on their life is one of denial. i can't think of another condition that tells you you don't have it, or that it's not really hurting you, in order to sustain itself.

I think the concern here, for you, is that by pointing those things out to him, or by saying "don't drink" when he leaves, you are feeding your own illusion that you can somehow control or direct the outcome of his journey. You, too, have the choice to accept that it is his role alone to navigate his recovery--or to not accept it and risk building frustration and resentment when you find that the things you've done or said haven't navigated him in a positive direction, or have in fact appeared to result in a worsening of the situation. Nothing you do or say will change what he does, but we codependents are pretty much masters at convincing ourselves otherwise.

You have been given some very valuable information in these responses, and
I hope you take them to heart and read them several times. My initial reaction
to your post is that you are trying to control his outcome.

Just as alcoholics deny, deny, deny and are loathe to admit they are alcoholic and
need to give it up and change their lives, codependents deny, deny, deny and are loathe
to admit they can't control others and need to give it up and understand why
they do.

Both parties indulge their addictions to the detriment of their physical,
mental and spiritual health.

Depression.

Depression is also a condition which tells you you do not have the illness or that the illness is not really hurting you so that the illness can sustain itself. Depression often causes the depressed person to hide the illness, from themselves and/or from others so the person can maintain their depressed state.


Sometimes asking a depressed person a basic question or expecting them to do a basic task can feel completely overwhelming to the depressed person. I can understand how on the surface these questions might sound like what one would ask a child, but these questions really are in line with what you might ask someone experiencing a significant depression.

My husband was diagnosed with depression 20+ years ago. I do know something about depression. What I don't know much about is alcoholism.

This is what I mean when I say I am struggling with where the line is when someone is so depressed. I think I need to better understand dual diagnosis and the best path for both myself and him from that framework.

Thanks everyone for the insight. I am reading it and thinking about all you share.

Trailmix I always benefit from your replies. I feel a lot of the same things. I do a lot of the same things. Adding mental illness to alcoholism is really challenging and when you are working on your own codependency (as I am) it often feels like a very narrow tightrope that you are walking between caring and concern and controlling and codependent.

Yes, I can see how confusing the line is - is it depression or alcohol, or a mix or, there is no way to tell. It's often said it's pretty much impossible to diagnose someone who is in active addiction because all of the symptoms might be part of either, which seems reasonable.

On the other hand, we can't ignore symptoms of other possible mental illness. It's quite the jumble. The truth is, there is no answer to this (is it depression or alcoholism), that's where the professionals need to be involved, there is no way for us to tell.


What you said about depression and it sustaining itself, yes, so similar to alcoholism - so again that jumble. I don't really know how depressed your Husband is (of course) but what you said about asking those basic questions, like have you called your friend lately, yes, those might helpful.

I was referring more to the "don't drink" comment really. But again, I don't know what his mental functioning is.

I do know that with alcoholism, telling someone to not drink is fruitless. It also takes away the person's ownership of it, if that makes sense.

If you read the Alcoholism forum and the Newcomers to recovery forum here you will find "depression and anxiety" mentioned over and over and over. It's so very common.

You might find these papers helpful in understanding addiction: Addiction, Lies and Relationships
.

• Nobody knows the trouble I've seen!

A blatant claim for special status based upon self-pity. Because it is seldom as persuasive to others as it is to the addict himself - other people usually have difficulty seeing how one's problems, no matter how severe or unfair, justify adding further misery resulting from theoretically avoidable addictive behaviors- the frustrated addict usually becomes resentful and sullen, convinced that "nobody really understands me." This licenses, at least in the addict's mind, still more flagrant and egregious addictive acting up and out.
.

• For the addict the prospect of giving up his addictive behavior and the feelings it brings him activates profound feelings of loss, deprivation and despair.

The addict is attached to his addiction in a primitive and pre-rational fashion just like a lover is attached to his beloved – or an infant is attached to its mother. Because there are no longer any clear boundaries between his love object –in this case, his addiction- and himself, each merges imperceptibly into the other so that it is impossible to tell precisely where the addict stops and his addiction begins - and vice versa.

The psychological consequence of this blending, merging and fusion between the individual and his addiction is that any threat to the continued vitality or existence of the addiction is immediately experienced as an equal and corresponding threat to the self. The addict cannot really imagine a worthwhile life sans his addiction – or if he is somehow able to conceive such an existence, he finds it to be unbearably weary, stale, unprofitable and empty, a kind of living death that is more of a curse or a punishment than anything to be valued or preserved.

The Addict's Dilemna

Those papers are fantastic! Thank you for the resource! Question: Do you think it would be helpful for someone just beginning their recovery journey to read these? I'm only 2 in and it perfectly describes my son. I want to send him the link but I feel like the information is so good that I don't want to be premature---as in send it before he is ready to receive it. Part of me feels like someone else telling him that his situation is not as unique as he thinks might be helpful, but part of me sees that he is definitely in the mourning and loss phase and thinks that it would just be reinforcement of his "no one understands that it is different for me" thoughts. Would it have/did it help you?

Lynn......I have been on this forum for the last ten years (over 15 thousand posts!---I can hardly believe it!)....I read all of the Papers by Floyd P. Garrett when I first came her.
I, too, was super impressed at how clearly he explained the workings of the alcoholic's mind. I used to suggest that newbies read these papers---as I felt that it was such valuable knowledge.
About your son----here, as I see it, is the sticky wicket-----you are so close to him, by nature of being his mother----he is going to see you as the "Enemy". You are a part of the force that he sees as trying to take away his most precious thing. The very thing that helps him to feel normal and helps him to cope with any and all of life's uncomfortable feelings. It doesn't matter how much he loves you (underneath)---you are still a part of that "enemy force" that wants to take his alcohol away. He may not say it, but it is there. Even if you praise him for not drinking---he will see that as a subtle way of pushing your agenda to take away his alcohol. His best friend, his only reliable pain reliever.
Based on this----even if the Papers of Floyd P. Garrett were chiseled into golden tablets---he will resist them and probably niot read them---much less absorb them.
The best person to get through to an alcoholic is another alcoholic. The reason for this is that in AA recovery groups like AA---there is unconditional acceptance. The kind of acceptance that a loved one can never---never----give. I have never known of an alcoholic who was not walking in shame and guilt---and, thus, tend to be very defensive.
Alcholics can understand that in other alcoholics---andm that kind of acceptance in a group is probably the most powerful tool that the self-help group has.
Belonging to a group of other humans that accepts you unconditionally is beyond powerful. It fulfills one of the most basic psychological needs that a person has.

Lynn...you can give it to him if y ou choose, but, prepare yourself that he won't read it or take t to heart. Prepare yourself for yet, another, disappointment, in an effort to "reach" him. He will be ready to look for answers and knowledge when he is ready to accept it. "When the student is ready, the Teacher will come".

As a general statement---the best thing you can do is to deal with your own boundaries around your relationship with your son. For your own welfare as well as your son's.

Thanks for the links to the papers, Trailmix, I appreciate it and will read them in-depth this weekend. I've been doing a lot of reading lately.

Circling back to my saying "don't drink." This is a struggling point for me. I truly don't know where the line is when he is this depressed. As 555Lynn555 said, it's like walking a tightrope. I don't know where he has agency when his depression is this significant. Asking him to not drink was completely based in fear.


Right now, there have been days when I ask my husband:

• Do you feel suicidal?
• Do you have a plan to hurt yourself?
• Are there any pills in the house that I need to know about?
• Are there any ropes or cords in the garage that I should lock up?

(Ahhhh, ****! It's so hard to write that. It hurts just to see that in print.)

So, when I say "don't drink" to him, in my mind, right now, that statement is on the same level as the questions above. It's me saying, please don't kill yourself.

I don't know, maybe that's what every family member is saying when they ask an alcoholic to not drink. Maybe I'm completely ignorant and completely codependent.

I do understand that telling an alcoholic not to drink is not a useful approach. I do understand that an alcoholic needs to first see their drinking as a problem and needs to not want to not drink in order for change to happen for the alcoholic. I know I cannot control the actions or decisions of another adult.

I also know that a depressed person does not think clearly. I know that asking a depressed person simple, basic questions helps them make safe choices. I know there is value in expressing love and concern to a depressed person.


This is still new.

It was in June when I first posted here, when I first started to wonder if he may be an alcoholic. It was just 2 weekends ago when I pointed out he is angry, wants to isolate and then feels depressed the day after drinking and he said, "I think you're right. I see it." It was last weekend when I said "don't drink." This exchange has just taken place. We don't have years of this this type of interaction. He stopped drinking in May and has just now felt good enough (not depressed) to go out with friends and had drinks on those 3 occasions.

We've lived with his depression for a long time. He's had depressive episodes in the past but never, never, never like this. He's had times when he drank too much in the past but it never, never, never effected his behavior or depression like this.

Prior to 2020 I never thought of him as an alcoholic. I never had the "don't drink" conversation. There were times he drank too much but it was never to the point where I thought he couldn't control his drinking. He's had periods of time when he took a drinking break for months at a time to focus on sports, get in shape etc. We'd have a drink with dinner and leave it at that.

I feel like 2020 changed him. During that time we both drank too much. Then things got better in the world and I went back to normal but he is stuck in a deep, deep depression and is now struggling with addiction. I don't know if that's how alcoholism works, if a period of excessive drinking can trigger an addiction, but that's how things look and feel to me.

Thank you everyone for sharing and for listening. I read and reread what you post. What you share helps.

I have been thinking about your situation, and this part has caught my eye.

Part of my story that I have not shared much is that my AH was very ill with multiple mental diagnoses, and multiple addictions. For most of the 12 years we were married, he vascilated between behaviors but suicidal ideation happened frequently. He completed suicide with multiple substances in his system. I am telling just this part so that you know that I've walked in similar shoes as yours.

It's impossible to live a life in which every thing that can be used to harm oneself is locked up or removed from the house and the garage. I know this -- I tried. Your husband is an adult with the resources to go out and purchase whatever he wants. My point here is that your husband is an adult and makes his own choices. You have little control over this.

If your husband is in this fragile a state, he needs to be in an acute care hospital until he is solid enough to move to a lower level of care. You are not trained to deal with this kind of caregiving in your home, no one is.

It's absolutely appropriate and healthy to connect with your husband in day to day conversations and talk about the things you'd normally talk about. But if he's not safe enough that you feel you need to ask the questions above, he needs to be in acute care.

The important takeaway here is that with suicidal ideation, they are in such pain that they only see one way out. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, and there is little you can do to change this for them. That is why I am telling you, it's not about your husband's love for you or your marriage; it has nothing at all to do with you. The most loving thing you can do is to let his healthcare team do what they need to do. If acute care hospitalisation is the next step, be loving and supportive but know that he must do the work himself.

I'm so sorry Sage1969. Thank you for sharing your personal story.

These questions are ones we've come to in partnership with my husbands therapist. These come from a conversation with a mental health professional about our specific situation.

Were it not for Covid my husband would have had in-patient care last winter. Covid has impacted health care access and options is so many ways, including the availability of mental health treatment, both in-patient and out-patient. He has been working with a temporary therapist for a few months until a psychologist is available. His regular medical doctor retired and he's waiting to meet with his new doctor. I'm fairly knowledgable about public health and health care systems in our location and our health systems is struggling at best.