LovelyKaya33333

Letter to my AH……… haven’t sent it……..Hey. I was trying to find words to even say about your grievances towards the surfboards. First, there was no malice intent. You left 3 days before the first of the month on a lease we both were responsible for. I am now solely responsible for said lease simply because I’m too kind or a push over (whatever you deem comfortable with labeling it) to hold you actually accountable for a reasonable responsibility you had to the apartment complex but further that you had to me. In addition I paid in full a few days ago for an electric bill starting in late may and through the whole month the kids were here that added up to over $300. In addition to that our lease made it so until November until this year I am responsible for a 2 bed 2 bath….do I need that place? Hmmm last time I checked it was just me, so nope. Simply put it was originally for myself and a roommate but you coming back in December saying you loved me and that was the only place that felt like home to you somehow even after everything gave me hope. A hope I now understand as simply non existent …Turns out you weren’t discovering that in Tennessee with your kids but rather in Texas going through a breakup with that girl in Texas that led you back to me after you left her with zero notice ( which I soon later realized was your MO)… anyhow all that being water under the bridge you still decided I was “controlling” for having concerns that were well warranted. You were hammered 99% of the time …,I mean come on really,!!!!!!! I’m
Sending my divorce papers to your ex wife’s house. And you don’t understand for a minute how strange or humiliating that is… for ***** sake ….Jesus can we call Jerry springer if he is alive. None of this actually matters anymore. Your actions have shown me that you never took our marriage as an actual marriage and all the time, money and effort I put into the kids was a joke. So jokes on me… by all means I’m totally cool with what you do moving forward … do your thing. But you are no better than when Wendy left you for Shaun. You recreated it … so for you to think I’d pack up things you left behind … is crazy. I was living as if a hurricane happened and had to cover everything I thought that was set that wasn’t. Even if you take emotion out of it… Jesus Christ Dan really ? By the way I have 2 of the boards. Mikey told me that the only board that mattered to him was the long one. But even that aside. Holy ****. The thought of someone I loved caring about a board he left more than the well being Of his wife he left leaves a sickness that is so shallow. I don’t expect you to ever realize or understand something I know you won’t or can’t. That’s all I have to say. I did my best in the extremely gloom situation I was given. I thought you at the very least got and understood that. I guess not. One would’ve thought that you had left with enough damage in your wake. But you decided that it was cool for your buddy to contact me a month after you left me to clean up the aftermath of all of our mutual responsibilities to ask for your boards?! Really Dan really?! Even after everything I thought you could at least get how that is rude. I loved you and I married you. So you not understand somehow what that means to a person ? Like what if Wendy had the ******* balls to call you 30 days after she left you to handle the aftermath of what she did snd ask you for a material object. You had #fuckwendy everywhere. Anyhow I’m too tired to explain common decency to someone that clearly had no respect for me from go. Divorce papers are supposed to be here by Monday (another fun thing the one left behind has to deal with financially and emotionally) They were suppose to come sooner but I had your wrong DL #. Anyhow I’m signing Monday. Getting them notarized and will be to you this week. Please I just don’t want to hear from you again

Eauchiche

My experience in writing letters of this sort has been that it is good therapy for me, but useless in motivating change in the addressee. If I felt the need to write such a letter today, I would do so then burn it.

Your ex is going to do what he's going to do, and that's that.

Take care of yourself. If that means moving to a different place, then do so.

sage1969

Kaya, I'm glad you can see your XAH in this light now. You've gone through so much pain. The situations he's put you through are ridiculous and unfair.

I'd agree though that it was excellent therapy to write this letter, and maybe you should continue to write these letters to get rid of all the pain, but that you should burn it or shred it. It would be satisfying to send it, yes. I've learnt via the divorce from my first XH who was a sociopath that stalked me for years after and my deceased AH who was extremely violent towards me, that sending advance notice of what you are intending to do could be dangerous for you. Of course he knows you are divorcing him. Don't make it easy for him to avoid getting the papers, or head off whomever needs to be notified or send more of his friends to harass you.

When you do send the papers, include the simple notice," Do not contact me again."

Sueby

I agree, excellent therapy for you but 100% useless sending to him. He won’t ever see it from your point of view as his is very different right now.

Good luck with everything and sending huge hugs to you as you go through this difficult time 💕💕💕