trailmix

Something I think many of us do is ignore mental distress/pain. If you broke a bone in your foot and the dr. said, you are going to need 2 weeks with no walking on that except to go to the bathroom and to grab a sandwich in the kitchen/call uber eats to order food, or it will take a year or more to heal.

What would you do? Would you limp around on crutches (even though you aren't supposed to do that) or would you rearrange your schedule and where you work from to make sure you took that 2 weeks?

I hope it's the latter (it should be!) and I hope you take some time here. Your brain is telling you to slowwwwwwwww down, take it easy, just like your foot would be if it was broken and you continued to walk on it. It's just as important as the hypothetical broken foot.

Exercise is a great stress relief, but so is the spa, maybe it's time for a spa day or weekend stay? Or whatever relaxing activity you really would enjoy. A mini-vacation.

Eauchiche

I am attending a virtual convention this week. There is a husband and wife team who are working as volunteers.
The wife is the nicest gal. She was helping check everyone in the convention when it started yesterday.

Then, a few hours later I met her husband.

Without going into details, the guy reminds me of someone who has already wrecked two marriages.

Today, as part of my recovery, I have to resist trying to figure out why the guy is such an SOB.

AliLong

You are going to be ok. Angst moves us. I refused pills and leaned on my therapist to get me through the hard panic and anxiety. It was HELL. I drove around constantly. Irritated non stop. Al anon zoom non stop.. Couldn't think. Mind racing. Sick to my stomach. Couldn't eat. I have 2 kids too. I cried all the time. Just a total mess. Like never before.
But I got through it. Even when my x called me drunk Sunday, yelling at me. No anxiety. calm. Because I've been doing the work, grunt work. I run too, yoga. Bike. But my God, those months were brutal. I wanted to die. Couldn't focus. Your nervous system holds the memory. You are now giving your body new sensory and retraining it...so it'll take time. The nervous system also tells us when we are in danger. The anxiety means danger yet our minds don't know exactly what that is. Addiction is death. Danger. No health. None. So a healthy person can be thrown severely out of wack when around this disease. That's my hypothesis. Ha. Just ride each panic wave out, it'll pass and day by day the panic will lessen. I dont agree With above, I would not want others around me although my friends helped me a lot over text and phone. Moments I'd need them, they were there but couldn't imagine the always around me. Maybe that's me, feeling a burden to others which is stress for me, I did ask my therapist for 2 sessions a week. So we did that instead. I'd hang on til next session.

Youre doing good. Keep going. Don't numb the anxiety as crazy as that sounds. Because your building your strong internal coping, the memory, how to cope with something that is brutal and deadly.

BellaBlue

It's called "Stockholm syndrome." Learning to love your captor. Maybe most wives of substance abusers have this on some level. I know I did. Looking in the rearview mirror, I wonder how it all happened and why I stood by him.

LovelyKaya33333

Thank you so much... you are so wise. I decided against the pills. And Yea I think having quiet is the thing for me in terms of getting a roomate. I almost want to feel through this and not distract myself.... Our stories are so similar...I am here if you ever want to talk... I ust read through your first post from February... I felt like I could have written it...and you are very lucky you got out without a marriage....divorcing my AH is so annoying...he moved to TN and we live in CA....so now I am having to do all the "work" myself ...I shouldn't be surprised.... He left a girl once while she was in the shower... like legit that is how he ended it... Some alcoholics are just assholes too.... you will start to feel better soon..