velma929

What kind of friends does an alcoholic accumulate? They hang around with other problem drinkers, who want to point to their peers and think, "Well, I don't drink as much as Pat, or Ashley, or Robin." THOSE people don't want to hear of someone recovering from addiction, they want their world view reinforced. Families who are aware may want to help, but this forum is full of people who have discovered that loving someone as much as humanly possible isn't what makes the difference between the loved one's addiction or sobriety. If loving someone made the difference, none of us would be here.

PeacefulWater12

True, this is why as part of getting sober and working a recovery program, alcoholics usually have to completely change their group of friends. These drinking buddies will pull them back down into drinking.

As you say, someone quitting in those circles is not welcome as it holds a mirror up to everyone else and their problem drinking.

Spiderweb

Prettyfractals sorry you are going through such a tough time with such a tough decision to make. As with so many others, I completely relate. My AH could be the most fun, charming, witty guy and great father from 9-5. After 5 it was a roll of the dice as to who he would be depending on how much he had to drink. It can happen so slowly, like the frog in boiling water, that you don’t even realize how much the person has changed and how much the bad outweighs the good. Have you read “Codependent No More”? I read it 4 years ago when I started my plan to leave and again after I left 2 months ago. The chapter on acceptance really hit home. One of my favorite quotes is “I am no longer twisting my consciousness in knots to maintain delusions about my present condition”. When I married 15 years ago, things were pretty good. But my husband became an alcoholic and I became just as sick as him. I am in a much healthier place now.