Hello and Happy Spring
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 60
Hello and Happy Spring
I popped in today to check on things and, of course, people. It's tough to read of people in so much pain. I am so sorry for what so many are going through.
I posted back around late November, I think. As a recap, my I discovered my husband was secretly drinking some ridiculous amount of alcohol on a daily basis. I don't remember how much because I can never keep the sizes straight, but it was around 3 bottles of Sailor Jerry rum per week. 3 or 4, who knows. Plus he was tapering off the prescribed opioids that he had been on for over a decade for a back injury and also a 50 mcg fentanyl patch that was prescribed every few days. It was not a good situation. This was in September 2017. I was truly shocked about the drinking, though looking back it explained a lot, but obviously the opioids were prescribed to him, and those I did know about. At any rate, he agreed he had a problem and I found a rehab in California, and off he went for two months. I went to a therapist once a week, then every two weeks, and then once a month and then I just sort of stopped going and that has been basically ok, though I have vague intentions of finding a new therapist to deal with my issues (rather than issues that arose from being married to an addict/alcoholic).
Things went well until he got into some sort of weirdo stuff called Kratom during COVID. I found out about that and told him to pick one, me or the Kratom, because he wasn't going to be able to have both. So he pretended to go off it but had a full bag still and used that up unbeknownst to me. THEN he stopped and suffered a horrendous and ugly withdrawal. That seems to have scared him away from stuff when his addict brain tells him to try something new. For now, anyway. He just had his second COVID vaccination this week so I expect he will be resuming his weekly AA meetings by probably next weekend. He has really missed those and I know not going to them played a role in his decision to try the Kratom.
So things are going well on that front. On all fronts, really. When I posted in November, I mentioned that I had weight loss surgery in September. Tomorrow is the six-month anniversary of the surgery. Since June 2019, I have lost over 100 pounds, with a bit over 50 pounds since the surgery. To get to a goal weight, I have around 60 pounds or so to go, but even if things stopped here--life is good. I am pretty tall at 5'9" and I am wearing normal-size clothes, anywhere from a tight size 12 to a loose 16 (I guess that makes me around a 14?). Normal stuff. The surgery I had was the most extreme one and only 1% of WLS patients get this surgery, so I do not expect any significant regain as happens with other surgeries. It would be close to impossible with this one and the statistic is less than 5% of people regain any significant amount of weight for this surgery (BPD-DS or Duodenal Switch is what it is called).
The next thing I was planning to do to ensure my independence just in case my husband decided to choose drugs/alcohol over me was to look for a better, higher-paying job. When my husband went to rehab, I had just started graduate school. I completed that in June 2019 and then I started working on my health with the ultimate goal being the weight loss surgery. Now, six months past that, I am here to report that I am three weeks into the first new job I have had in over 14 years. It's significantly higher paying than the job I just left, though not as high paying as I was hoping for, but there is pretty much limitless growth opportunity in my new job--and it's in the field I was most interested in pursuing during my undergrad and graduate studies. I have worked at home for decades, and this job is an on-site job, but the working conditions are lovely. I have my own office and the nature of my duties ensures that I will learn everything I need to know to pursue any other job in my new field--it's 100% great, just what I wanted and even better, actually. The company is the largest in the area, great benefits, should be more than stable, the whole nine yards. I have not applied to many jobs at all but when I saw this job description, my heart skipped a beat and I actually sucked in my breath and said "OOOH" out loud. I transmitted my enthusiasm during the interview, apparently, because they had two identical positions open, lots of interviewees, but only chose me until last week (they have now filled the other position). I also have a lot of skills, experience and even education to contribute to my new role. It's been great so far. I can structure my day as I please and I am assigned cases to investigate and work. In fact, when I saw the job, I realized I would need a car and I literally picked out and purchased a (used, don't worry--I'm not a total nut) car with this new job in mind BEFORE I even applied. Then I applied two days later and..sure enough, yup!
So I had gotten rid of 85% of my clothing and just had a few things to wear when this happened, and a lot of THOSE were really too big and not fit for the office anyway. So in less than two weeks, I acquired an entire wardrobe all the way down to shoes, shopping exclusively super clearance, outlet (online) and some thrift store shopping. Honestly, the clearance new stuff was better deals for the most part. Every day, I plan out my outfit and getting ready feels like dressing up a barbie, though I in no way resemble one literally. My coworkers are great so far, and the environment is wonderfully collaborative. As it happens, I have the type of mind that is suited to this sort of work and I have already pointed some things that have not previously occurred to anyone. They called this "opening a can of worms" and it was met with mixed reviews. But--I'm done playing down my intelligence. I don't have to go trumpet it across the land, but I also don't have to pretend it's less than what it is. I am very much enjoying this chapter in my life.
What's great is that my husband also seems to be enjoying it as well. He has fun watching me show my outfit as I go out the door and is working hard to make sure my transition from decades of working from home to working in an office is as easy and smooth as possible. It feels like a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Yay!
OK, I have to run and pick up a Target drive-up order. That pandemic seems to be waning--but it is not gone. Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far!
I posted back around late November, I think. As a recap, my I discovered my husband was secretly drinking some ridiculous amount of alcohol on a daily basis. I don't remember how much because I can never keep the sizes straight, but it was around 3 bottles of Sailor Jerry rum per week. 3 or 4, who knows. Plus he was tapering off the prescribed opioids that he had been on for over a decade for a back injury and also a 50 mcg fentanyl patch that was prescribed every few days. It was not a good situation. This was in September 2017. I was truly shocked about the drinking, though looking back it explained a lot, but obviously the opioids were prescribed to him, and those I did know about. At any rate, he agreed he had a problem and I found a rehab in California, and off he went for two months. I went to a therapist once a week, then every two weeks, and then once a month and then I just sort of stopped going and that has been basically ok, though I have vague intentions of finding a new therapist to deal with my issues (rather than issues that arose from being married to an addict/alcoholic).
Things went well until he got into some sort of weirdo stuff called Kratom during COVID. I found out about that and told him to pick one, me or the Kratom, because he wasn't going to be able to have both. So he pretended to go off it but had a full bag still and used that up unbeknownst to me. THEN he stopped and suffered a horrendous and ugly withdrawal. That seems to have scared him away from stuff when his addict brain tells him to try something new. For now, anyway. He just had his second COVID vaccination this week so I expect he will be resuming his weekly AA meetings by probably next weekend. He has really missed those and I know not going to them played a role in his decision to try the Kratom.
So things are going well on that front. On all fronts, really. When I posted in November, I mentioned that I had weight loss surgery in September. Tomorrow is the six-month anniversary of the surgery. Since June 2019, I have lost over 100 pounds, with a bit over 50 pounds since the surgery. To get to a goal weight, I have around 60 pounds or so to go, but even if things stopped here--life is good. I am pretty tall at 5'9" and I am wearing normal-size clothes, anywhere from a tight size 12 to a loose 16 (I guess that makes me around a 14?). Normal stuff. The surgery I had was the most extreme one and only 1% of WLS patients get this surgery, so I do not expect any significant regain as happens with other surgeries. It would be close to impossible with this one and the statistic is less than 5% of people regain any significant amount of weight for this surgery (BPD-DS or Duodenal Switch is what it is called).
The next thing I was planning to do to ensure my independence just in case my husband decided to choose drugs/alcohol over me was to look for a better, higher-paying job. When my husband went to rehab, I had just started graduate school. I completed that in June 2019 and then I started working on my health with the ultimate goal being the weight loss surgery. Now, six months past that, I am here to report that I am three weeks into the first new job I have had in over 14 years. It's significantly higher paying than the job I just left, though not as high paying as I was hoping for, but there is pretty much limitless growth opportunity in my new job--and it's in the field I was most interested in pursuing during my undergrad and graduate studies. I have worked at home for decades, and this job is an on-site job, but the working conditions are lovely. I have my own office and the nature of my duties ensures that I will learn everything I need to know to pursue any other job in my new field--it's 100% great, just what I wanted and even better, actually. The company is the largest in the area, great benefits, should be more than stable, the whole nine yards. I have not applied to many jobs at all but when I saw this job description, my heart skipped a beat and I actually sucked in my breath and said "OOOH" out loud. I transmitted my enthusiasm during the interview, apparently, because they had two identical positions open, lots of interviewees, but only chose me until last week (they have now filled the other position). I also have a lot of skills, experience and even education to contribute to my new role. It's been great so far. I can structure my day as I please and I am assigned cases to investigate and work. In fact, when I saw the job, I realized I would need a car and I literally picked out and purchased a (used, don't worry--I'm not a total nut) car with this new job in mind BEFORE I even applied. Then I applied two days later and..sure enough, yup!
So I had gotten rid of 85% of my clothing and just had a few things to wear when this happened, and a lot of THOSE were really too big and not fit for the office anyway. So in less than two weeks, I acquired an entire wardrobe all the way down to shoes, shopping exclusively super clearance, outlet (online) and some thrift store shopping. Honestly, the clearance new stuff was better deals for the most part. Every day, I plan out my outfit and getting ready feels like dressing up a barbie, though I in no way resemble one literally. My coworkers are great so far, and the environment is wonderfully collaborative. As it happens, I have the type of mind that is suited to this sort of work and I have already pointed some things that have not previously occurred to anyone. They called this "opening a can of worms" and it was met with mixed reviews. But--I'm done playing down my intelligence. I don't have to go trumpet it across the land, but I also don't have to pretend it's less than what it is. I am very much enjoying this chapter in my life.
What's great is that my husband also seems to be enjoying it as well. He has fun watching me show my outfit as I go out the door and is working hard to make sure my transition from decades of working from home to working in an office is as easy and smooth as possible. It feels like a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Yay!
OK, I have to run and pick up a Target drive-up order. That pandemic seems to be waning--but it is not gone. Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,629
That's terrific NAP! You really seem to have focused on yourself and look at all you have achieved, it's amazing.
I'm really glad to hear you like your new job, that's so important. Also want to say congratulations on the weight loss, that's another great achievement, I know it's a lot of work and you are doing it.
Keep us updated!
I'm really glad to hear you like your new job, that's so important. Also want to say congratulations on the weight loss, that's another great achievement, I know it's a lot of work and you are doing it.
Keep us updated!
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