Sugarplum89

Hello my dad is an alcoholic and has been all my life, I'm now 31. He hasnt been in good health for a long time but recently he has been pretty ill and not really eating, his stomach is bloated and he says he feels like it's blocked but has been going to the toilet. I'm not mega close with him and don't see him all that often so I don't know the extent of his symptoms or if anything is happening but I'm wondering if this could be ascites? Or would he definitely have swollen ankles and be out of breathe with that? Would he still be able to get out and about if it was? I don't really know where else to talk to people and maybe no one can really answer the questions, I just don't really know what to do. He won't see a doctor so I feel a little bit stuck.

Thanks

trailmix

Hi Sugarplum. Well that is quite a burden.

First of all, we aren't allowed to give medical advice on these boards (even if I could hazard a guess about you Father. But honestly, I have no idea).

It could be anything, there is absolutely no way to know unless he sees a doctor and perhaps that is what you could tell him? Even if it is a liver problem, would that make any difference? Would he stop drinking? Would he go to see a doctor? I don't know him, but probably not?

So really, it is in your best interests perhaps to just give this back to him, maybe offer to drive him to the Dr. if he would like to go but let him know that you are not one and really can't help?

Dee74

Hi and welcome back sugarplum

I’m sorry your Dad is still drinking. I’m not a Dr so I can’t answer your question with any certainty, but it’s inevitable that years of drinking alcoholically will catch up with us health wise.

I’m sorry he won’t see a Dr. I know you’ve said in the past he’s not really open to talking about his drinking either. It’s a tough place for a loved one to be, but you’ll find support for yourself here

D

Sugarplum89

Thank you both for replying. I know no one can really answer whats state his health is actually in, I was just wondering if its ascites and getting bad will all the symptoms you read about be there too or is it some might, some might not if you get me.

I guess I'm always trying to work out how bad it is getting and I'm not too sure why I do it to myself because tbh your right nothing would make a difference he would still drink. And although I have very mixed feeling towards my dad, he's still my dad and I worry.

I would happily take him to the doctors but I'm not sure if he will agree. I am going to try and talk to him but it's basically just waiting and watching someone die for a long time.

trailmix

My Father was an alcoholic too, all his life, he never sought any treatment. I never discussed his drinking with him, I just kind of figured it was none of my business (not saying it shouldn't be anyone else's, just to clarify). He didn't talk to me about it.

He was actually the kind of person that would go to a Doctor, so that wasn't an issue (thankfully).

The only thing I can suggest is that you steel yourself a bit. Years of chronic drinking can take a toll (as I know you know). Perhaps he will get to a point where he will seek help, but I would only suggest it once, as in, I'm here if you ever want me to drive you to the dr. Otherwise you might just push him away you know? I know that is not your intention.

I'm sending you a pm, you can click on it up in the top right side of the screen.

SparkleKitty

Hey sugarplum. I too am the child of an alcoholic parent. I can't tell you anything about your dad's possible medical conditions, but I can tell you that you will want to manage your expectations about what he will or won't do regarding his own health. Denial is a hallmark of addiction, and there isn't anything you can say or do that will get him to "see the light" about what you think is best for him.

You will find a good deal of support for yourself here, though!

Sugarplum89

Thank you, I do understand what you are both saying. I know there's nothing I can say to make him change his mind on anything, and it isn't really my business, I certainly don't get at him for his drinking as I did when I was a child. I accept it is what it is and I know this will eventually kill him. He's pushed me way for a long time as alcoholics do and I guess the easy thing would be not to care but it doesn't work like that does it lol.

I spose its just nice to know where its at and how bad his health really is as I feel its abit of a guessing game. I'm sure you's understand as you both are/have been in the same situation. I will offer the support so he knows it there and maybe just check in with him abit more and I guess that's all I can do.

Sorry to hear your parent/s are alcoholics too, is that what lead you to this site?

Thanks for your message trailmix, I'm not sure how many posts I need but when I can reply I will 😊

Dee74

15 Posts

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