Holiday Season feelings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 276
Holiday Season feelings
Hi All,
Some heavy feelings hit me as I was driving to work this morning. The familiar holiday cheer on the radio set in motion some sadness that has clung to me like microwaved processed cheese. In the christmas while we were together, almost 2 years ago, she was off her rocker, acting like a child, a train-wreck...me struggling to keep the family together. Thinking back to that time is really painful. Then last christmas, took her to her in-patient program, bringing child to visit her, hope in my heart. This christmas, feels like sadness, a knowing that things are over. I just had to write something.
Some heavy feelings hit me as I was driving to work this morning. The familiar holiday cheer on the radio set in motion some sadness that has clung to me like microwaved processed cheese. In the christmas while we were together, almost 2 years ago, she was off her rocker, acting like a child, a train-wreck...me struggling to keep the family together. Thinking back to that time is really painful. Then last christmas, took her to her in-patient program, bringing child to visit her, hope in my heart. This christmas, feels like sadness, a knowing that things are over. I just had to write something.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
woodlandlost......I am glad that you did "write something". I know exactly what you are talking about! I have written about this very thing, many times, on this forum.
From my experience and observing others----there is something about that One Year mark---especially, the First one year mark. That is when the thinking---the emotional thinking seems to turn from the Present Tense to the Past Tense,,,,like the pain is folding into history---into the past.
HOWEVER--the big "however"----is that the anniversary date--of when it really became over----seems to trigger an acute relapse of painful feelings. Even when you aren't even expecting it---it just comes out of the blue and droops you to your knees, once again.
The thing is----this lasts for only a short while---it passes about as quickly as it came. I have found that about 24 to 73 hours.
I have a suggestion for you and your daughter this year.....and, I suspect that many other posters will agree with me, on this one.
It is this-----Make as many Changes as you can, for this Christmas season. Lay the groundwork for some "new" traditions and new memories. If possible---I say to get out of the house---or out of town for Christmas day. Go visit someone. Even donate your time to cheer up others, if necessary. Let your daughter accompany you, where appropriate.
I do realize that the Covid virus has made everytjing a lot harder for us.
Still---find as many ways to change up things for the household and the usual routines. lol---and, take your daughter to feed the squirrels and birds and ducks, on Christmas Day. Go to a farm and play orchestra music for the animals----the cows and horses looove that. Your daughter would.also (make sure that it is Christmas Carols)....
You get the point----make this season as much change as your imagination will allow. Distraction---distraction---distraction. And forming new memories.
From my experience and observing others----there is something about that One Year mark---especially, the First one year mark. That is when the thinking---the emotional thinking seems to turn from the Present Tense to the Past Tense,,,,like the pain is folding into history---into the past.
HOWEVER--the big "however"----is that the anniversary date--of when it really became over----seems to trigger an acute relapse of painful feelings. Even when you aren't even expecting it---it just comes out of the blue and droops you to your knees, once again.
The thing is----this lasts for only a short while---it passes about as quickly as it came. I have found that about 24 to 73 hours.
I have a suggestion for you and your daughter this year.....and, I suspect that many other posters will agree with me, on this one.
It is this-----Make as many Changes as you can, for this Christmas season. Lay the groundwork for some "new" traditions and new memories. If possible---I say to get out of the house---or out of town for Christmas day. Go visit someone. Even donate your time to cheer up others, if necessary. Let your daughter accompany you, where appropriate.
I do realize that the Covid virus has made everytjing a lot harder for us.
Still---find as many ways to change up things for the household and the usual routines. lol---and, take your daughter to feed the squirrels and birds and ducks, on Christmas Day. Go to a farm and play orchestra music for the animals----the cows and horses looove that. Your daughter would.also (make sure that it is Christmas Carols)....
You get the point----make this season as much change as your imagination will allow. Distraction---distraction---distraction. And forming new memories.
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