Cap3

Hey Jessica,how do you stop feeling sorry for someone?..Answer...i feel bad because he's lonely..When i change my thoughts,my whole world changes.For myself no matter how sad,or bad,i felt about hub,he didnt change,and i felt awful most of the time.His situation was on my mind 7/24..Its only natural to feel sad or bad for others.Feeling sorry for others.its when i think that i can actually change,their lonelness,or what they are feeling,themselves,,,through my actions,my words,my,being there,for them,that will,, make the changes for them,that causes me the heartache and pain,because it hasnt changed anything,only me.I become bitter,with putting so much effort out,and not getting the results that i think should be happening...The message to myself,that if i dont feel sad,bad for another who is going through tuff times,then im a bad no-caring person,needed to change for me.I can feel these things,and not get so involved that i have no life myself.That i cant function.When it gets to this point i need help.Al-anon..I am powerless.It was when i did steps 4-9,that the world came of my shoulders.I learned to forgive the past,of others.too.Realizing that they are sick too.This is so very important to me.Live in da moment.When hub,was sober,after 30 long years of drinking,i didnt know who he was.Never ever knew him sober.My mind was flipping from the past,as to what he use to do,how he was,,to who he is now.Telling myself,,hmmm,,this guy is up to something.Well,he use to be,,but is he now?,,Confusing..Mind flips,for me.Putting myself through all kinds of stuff.it had to stop.Acceptance,on who he is...today..So,i let go.Let go of how and what i thought i knew about hub...Open my mind to the new him.One Day At A Time.People change all the time.For me,its when i have a fixed thought about them,and they are in the process of changes,as we all are,this is what confuses me.They are not behaving as i expected them to.Let go of expectaions.Open my mind,heart.Recovery is not about..them.its about me..no matter what another does..
You say something is making me hang on....Is this a gut feeling,strong?May i suggest,grap pen and paper and just start writting,with no intentions of the outcome.Just write.whatever comes to mind.Ive done this and was so surprised of what came out on paper...
Keep on keeping on...One Day At a Time...All the best...