I think I'm going insane
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Originally Posted by D122y 
What you are doing is better than many other options.
You did the right thing by getting away from a man that will mentally harm you or worse.
Folks here, like me, love to try and help. It is good for our brains and maybe something we offer will help you.
Bottom line is you don't want to make contact with him, you have already made it official with the whole jail time.
As we all know, an active addict is not of normal mind. Even when they are in recovery, they are still searching for normal.
I imagine he is off and on drinking, trying to quit, but he may not consider kindling and PAWS like many of us here do.
Happiness is a frame of mind. Perspective. You know. It could be worse. Right?
Thanks.
You did the right thing by getting away from a man that will mentally harm you or worse.
Folks here, like me, love to try and help. It is good for our brains and maybe something we offer will help you.
Bottom line is you don't want to make contact with him, you have already made it official with the whole jail time.
As we all know, an active addict is not of normal mind. Even when they are in recovery, they are still searching for normal.
I imagine he is off and on drinking, trying to quit, but he may not consider kindling and PAWS like many of us here do.
Happiness is a frame of mind. Perspective. You know. It could be worse. Right?
Thanks.
The night I realized that he IS truly insane, was the night I kicked him out and the last night I saw him.
There is nothing left of the man I fell in love with and married. That guy literally died 9 years ago. I just didn't know it til 6 years later.
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So I was doing some thinking last night, wondering why this is bothering me so much this time around . . . ?
I realized that I discovered he had a new fb acct to stalk me A MONTH AGO. I'd been thinking it was a week.
Nope. It happened, I immediately totally shoved it way into the back of the cupboard and ignored it for 3 weeks. I sure as heck didn't try to cope with it in any way.
My tolerance for bs is about zero. Three weeks is now a long time. The cupboard blew up, brought me here so I can look at it fairly safely.
And . . . maybe it's time to mourn a little bit more . . .
. . . it's definitely time for chocolate pudding!
I realized that I discovered he had a new fb acct to stalk me A MONTH AGO. I'd been thinking it was a week.
Nope. It happened, I immediately totally shoved it way into the back of the cupboard and ignored it for 3 weeks. I sure as heck didn't try to cope with it in any way.
My tolerance for bs is about zero. Three weeks is now a long time. The cupboard blew up, brought me here so I can look at it fairly safely.
And . . . maybe it's time to mourn a little bit more . . .
. . . it's definitely time for chocolate pudding!
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Location: Western US
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Yes . . . . I do believe grieving and chocolate are a common pairing!!
I'm not carrying anything as heavy as you are and still, with my depression, have to hack my way through days just 15 minutes at a time.
I do like being here on SR where I feel like I'm riding in some emotionally supportive peloton in which we draft off of each other.
I'm off to check out one of my credit card accounts, call the roofing company and do 10 min of easy yoga.
Grieve well Darkling and enjoy that pudding.
I'm not carrying anything as heavy as you are and still, with my depression, have to hack my way through days just 15 minutes at a time.
I do like being here on SR where I feel like I'm riding in some emotionally supportive peloton in which we draft off of each other.
I'm off to check out one of my credit card accounts, call the roofing company and do 10 min of easy yoga.
Grieve well Darkling and enjoy that pudding.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by darkling
.
Hi! I went back and read my last thread and just shook my head. I was there and i still don't quite believe it . . . <rolls eyes>
The 2 cats and I have happily shared an apt for 2+ years now. Just the 3 of us and we love it!
not sure what you're talking about??
You take care too!
Hi! I went back and read my last thread and just shook my head. I was there and i still don't quite believe it . . . <rolls eyes>
The 2 cats and I have happily shared an apt for 2+ years now. Just the 3 of us and we love it!
not sure what you're talking about??
You take care too!
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways
Yes . . . . I do believe grieving and chocolate are a common pairing!!
I'm not carrying anything as heavy as you are and still, with my depression, have to hack my way through days just 15 minutes at a time.
I'm not carrying anything as heavy as you are and still, with my depression, have to hack my way through days just 15 minutes at a time.
Please don't downplay what you are dealing with / going thru! From where I'm sitting, it's you who's carrying the heavy load right now!
I've lived plenty of time minutes at a time. Some of it was a minute at a time. "Our best" isn't the same every day. That's why doing it one day at a time is so important.
Give yourself credit for climbing the mountain - or hill! -
Take Care!
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"Venting" (if that's what this thread is) helped so much! I think it falls in the "being honest with yourself" category. I spent 3 weeks ignoring that he really does "get to me" and he really does scare me. I guess I just need to allow myself to acknowledge that and to feel it (yech) just for a little bit, before I move on.
THANK YOU!
I've done what I can to protect myself. As of May 2018, nobody knows where I live, certainly not AH.
My cats and I moved into a secure building - you need a key-card to even get into the building. We live on the 6th floor, he won't be climbing in my window.
It's just when he pops up in my fb feed, or in my voice mail, it reminds me that he is still real ... and it pisses me off and then scares me for a while.
But I'll tell ya what it doesn't do any more:
it doesn't make me feel sorry for him, or make me wanna take him back. And I no longer feel guilty for that.
Progress not perfection.
THANK YOU!
I've done what I can to protect myself. As of May 2018, nobody knows where I live, certainly not AH.
My cats and I moved into a secure building - you need a key-card to even get into the building. We live on the 6th floor, he won't be climbing in my window.
It's just when he pops up in my fb feed, or in my voice mail, it reminds me that he is still real ... and it pisses me off and then scares me for a while.
But I'll tell ya what it doesn't do any more:
it doesn't make me feel sorry for him, or make me wanna take him back. And I no longer feel guilty for that.
Progress not perfection.
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