My Son

Old 08-20-2020, 02:40 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
 
splendra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
My Son

My son divorced the mother of his two oldest children and now has a child with a new wife. The divorce was very hard on all of them . I do feel sorry for his ex she did not want the divorce and she fought tooth and nail to keep from loosing him. but he was very unhappy with her for several years and they went to all kinds of counseling in the end she just wasn't who he wanted to be with. He met his new wife selling real estate. They are doing very well working together. She and he work together and are quite the power team. They are always giving me very nice gifts. I think they would pay all my bills if I would let them.

I have always been a very low end income earner and enjoy a very simple life. Not because I could not earn more but I just didn't want all that goes with making a high income. I am very non competitive and in that type of environment I just fold up and don't want to do anything.I have lived very simply over the years and I really like it. My son lives in luxury in a big house with all the trimmings. It really is nice for him and I can tell he really loves his life and I am happy for him. He takes very good care of his children as well.

He supplies me with all kinds of top end appliances and cars. My house hold appliances are smarter than I am. It is nice I have to admit. However I just feel uncomfortable around all this luxury . I think I must be becoming old and set in my ways. My brothers and my sister all say WTF is wrong with you for not taking everything he wants to give to you? Even my ex (his farther) has asked me why? I don't know if this is a problem or not.WTF is wrong with me that I won't let my obviously rich son give me everything? When I was young I could have married several different "rich men" but I just did not feel anything for them. Everybody back then would ask wtf is wrong with me too. I don't want to insult my son. He has worked hard to get where he is and I am so glad for him that he has everything he wants and needs.
I like to dig in my garden, play music, paint pictures, go for long walks with my dog, and, blog about politics on the internet. I have a very limited social life and feel uncomfortable in large groups of people.
I have always just been really low in the desires department. A roof over my head and decent food and an old clunker to drive back and forth in and I am good. People give me really nice clothes that I would probably never consider buying myself. I am very independent I don't like to go to the beauty shop or shopping either. I let him pay the deductible on my new dental work. He is a good son my only child and I am extremely proud of all that he has accomplished and I know it is because he has worked his butt off. Why can't I just sit back and let him do what he wants to do?
splendra is offline  
Old 08-20-2020, 05:09 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Originally Posted by splendra View Post
Why can't I just sit back and let him do what he wants to do?
Say Thank you and let it go.

LumenandNyx is offline  
Old 08-20-2020, 05:42 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi Splendra: It's good to see you

I've always thought that giving someone a gift should be for them, not me. If I continue buying expensive gifts for someone, and they have told me it makes them uncomfortable, I'm not listening to them--and I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me.

I can only imagine it's harder with a family member. He is generous. Perhaps ask him in the future to donate the amount of money he would have spent on a gift on a charity you support? And...maybe let him buy you something nice every now and again?

Seren is offline  
Old 08-20-2020, 06:43 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
healthyagain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Originally Posted by splendra View Post
I like to dig in my garden, play music, paint pictures, go for long walks with my dog, and, blog about politics on the internet. I have a very limited social life and feel uncomfortable in large groups of people.
I have always just been really low in the desires department. A roof over my head and decent food and an old clunker to drive back and forth in and I am good.
You are a very very lucky lady, for 2 reasons. First, you have a son who loves you and wants to pamper you, and on top of that, he is doing really well. Second, not many people understand happiness in simplicity these days: "a roof over your head" and a place where you feel at home, no matter how modest it looks to others, is one of the greatest treasures. Let's face it: We live in a materialistic world. But, I seriously think a lot of people could actually learn from you. Then again, if your son wants to pamper you, maybe it could be something closer to your personality, something that others do not have to see, something for your garden, or for your dog, for your art. In that case, you would not feel that uncomfortable, and your son would still have a chance to treat his mom well. It is a win-win situation.
healthyagain is offline  
Old 08-20-2020, 07:14 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
 
splendra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Originally Posted by LumenandNyx View Post
Say Thank you and let it go.
I think this is probably the best solution.
splendra is offline  
Old 08-20-2020, 07:22 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
 
splendra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Originally Posted by heathyagain
You are a very very lucky lady,
I am very fortunate indeed thank you for helping get some perspective.
Originally Posted by Seren
Perhaps ask him in the future to donate the amount of money he would have spent on a gift on a charity you support?
I asked him to start buying gold and silver coins. It is good to see you too glad you are still around.
splendra is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:27 AM.