healthyagain

After experiencing alcoholism of a loved one, and although it has been a long time, it gets me sometimes how there are people who deny its existence, who deny the condition itself. Like it is not real, like it is something else, like the behavior was not caused by drinking, never a big deal. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, could they all actually have a drinking problem so they do not think it is real? Jokes about alcohol trigger me. Even cartoons and memes joking about alcohol. Maybe a year ago, I unfollowed a business, a little local restaurant because of their statuses inviting people jokingly to come and stock up on their wine because kids will be at home, something in the line of "I am looking for a wine that pairs with my kids being home all day." Is that really funny? Or "The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink." For women, it is wine. For guys, it is beer. Nah, it is not hard liquor . . . he ONLY drinks beer. This sentence is an instant trigger for me. Then again, I also meet people who were burnt by alcoholism, and there is immediate understanding, as we immediately start speaking the same language. It is hard for me to be around those who take alcohol lightly. Or when they say, "so only alcoholism was the problem?" It is really like we live in two different worlds. I let them be, but the feeling is strange.

Just a little something that was on my mind lately.

Nd819

Healthy, I am with you, I get so tired of the glorifying of something that is so destructive. I often feel like a Debbie Downer because I don't want to jump on the "look how fun drinking all the time is" bandwagon.

LumenandNyx

Hmm. Thanks for deciding to write. I appreciate it. And I can relate to your frustration. I think our society tends to downplay and minimize the horror of alcoholism because drinking is so widely accepted and even expected at times.
It is odd and scary indeed.

Best,

velma929

I don't know *why* I remember this experience:

As a kid, we went camping several weekends and a couple weeks each summer. It was common to find other children in the campground to play with. My sister and I once found siblings our age to pal around with, and in stopping by their campsite, I guess the Mom and dad were arguing over something. One of the kids said, yeah, Mom is mad because she thinks Dad drinks too much. But Dad says you're no an alcoholic if you only drink beer.

It's an attitude that still exists. One day a neighbor and his friends from work were discussing their colleague "Fred" who ended up in the hospital for an ulcer. Fred had been moved to the 'detox' wing of the hospital. Friends were aghast: Fred 'only drank beer,' how could you need to detox from that?

I'm too old, tired and cynical to actually have a triggering response, but the closest I come is to hear people use "party" as a verb. People who use the word party as a verb are just getting soused with other people around so they can claim they're not drinking alone. I actually enjoy the company of [most of] the people at a gathering. For the rest, I enjoy watching how people who don't like one another navigate the gathering and pretend not to hold grudges. What's the point of getting so drunk you don't appreciate all that?

healthyagain

I think that the COVID-19 and stay-at-home order triggered a lot in me and brought some past memories. I saw people mentioning alcohol frequently as a coping skill, then I thought what would have happened if I were still married to my ex and we had to isolate together. Then I read that domestic violence and child abuse cases increased during the lock-down, and then there were these irritating memes. I just felt so bad for people, especially kids, who had nowhere to go, and the pressure and stress were only mounting.