AH Ex-Bf died 3 weeks ago & I’m in so much pain

Old 08-01-2020, 11:03 AM
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AH Ex-Bf died 3 weeks ago & I’m in so much pain

I don’t know where to begin.

We were together since 2014.. after a few years I’ve had such a hard time with his disease we decided to take space apart... but we stayed in touch and kept going back and forth throughout, even when we were apart.. I would have never given up on him, I always gave him space for himself and for me to heal.. but we always came around to find each other.

By end of 2019 he had a terrible binge-drinking episode and was taken to Detox for a week.. from there he went to a rehab facility for three months.

We started talking again early in 2020 after he got out of rehab, and by that time we spoke every day, we saw each other every week, he kept telling me he loved me and he wanted to get back together, but I was afraid and I was taking it slow and staying cautious.

He stayed in a halfway house after rehab for 6 months. He was doing very well and had been sober for almost 10 months now. But then he got out of the halfway house and that same week he started acting weird and suspicious, so I backed-off thinking to give him time to figure it out.

One week spent without talking to him, and later his family called me to say he passed. My nightmare for the past few years came true.
I had so much hope, so much love, I was looking forward to spending more time together, to getting back together. He was only 33. He was hands down the love of my life and I don’t know what to do now, I am devastated.

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Old 08-01-2020, 11:11 AM
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That's really hard. I can only imagine what you're going through. My condolences to you and yours.

Hopefully, he's in a better place and no longer suffering.

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Old 08-01-2020, 12:46 PM
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I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:01 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace.
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:13 PM
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Time will heal you , I went through same thing with the only GF I ever had in my life .
She died in 1996 from a drug OD .
I fell apart .
You will feel better .
I am sorry for your loss .
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:32 PM
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace xx
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:37 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss, GS.
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Old 08-01-2020, 04:56 PM
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I am so sorry. Wish I could say more to make you feel better. (hugs)
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Old 08-02-2020, 12:30 PM
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Oh Goldensasha, I am so very sorry for this loss and for the pain you are going through.

We all know that many of our beloved addicts will not make it but it is still so damn hard and hurts so much when they die.

Please double down on your self-care. Get through the days as best you can. The pain will ease with time but it will take time.
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Old 08-03-2020, 04:41 AM
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I'm just so sorry to hear about your loss, Sasha! I understand the sudden loss of hopes and dreams--my husband died unexpectedly in 2015. The grief comes in waves, but I promise that those waves do get smaller and smaller with time.

Please come here anytime and write about your grief, it can help.
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