I'm struggling.

Old 07-27-2020, 01:51 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Stronger every day!
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 191
I agree with the "next right thing" peeps! Sometimes that's the only thing that got me through a day and I've used that in other life situations too, having nothing to do with an addict. It's a great way to live and I had forgotten that for a while so thanks all for reminding me of that tool. The tiniest step is still progress especially when you're scared and overwhelmed.

Also agree on the counselor fit. I was a therapist although I don't work in mental health anymore, and it was drilled into us in grad school that our personal biases were not to interfere with our treatment, even as far as saying "if you really feel you can't work with someone, then refer them but don't try and treat them while judgimg or forcing your own agenda." Sounds like your gut is telling you this isn't the right person for you and I agree that looking for someone with addiction experience is a good idea. It's a whole different ballgame when booze and drugs are involved. As codependents, our addiction IS the addict/alcoholic, and the trying to help/fix/cure/manage them. Whatever label we want to give to our behavior it can be as unmanageable and dysfunctional as the addict's behavior, but the only person we can fix is US. Yes, it's frustrating AF when they won't go for help--not our fault, not our responsibility. Yes, it's sad as anything when we see someone we love hurting themselves because they're in pain. I'm seeing warning signs in someone now and I did reach out to them in support but I'm constantly checking my motives and reminding myself that I need to stay back until I see if the red flags are real. I came back here because I was worried about old habits coming back and I wanted to strengthen what I learned in the program years ago. We're all learning together so just keep moving forward. You're going to be OK.

JP
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