Rewriting history-the convenient memory, delusion or lie
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Join Date: May 2010
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Rewriting history-the convenient memory, delusion or lie
The alcoholic has been working on their reputation and legacy alot lately. Not getting sober, a job, their act together ,affairs in order etc but it seems they are going out of their way to make sure they look good and others look bad, they did no wrong over the decades. Anything from slipping in fast quips and comments to denial. They have also taken notice or commented on things that have been a certain way for YEARS and they act like something was recently changed.
Was putting some of my stuff away. It was vintage 1980s, been in the house out on display for DECADES. Asked if I recently got it in the trash or a thrift store. They also wondered what happened to some things of mine that were gone for a over a decade. They were shocked, stunned and angered to learn I had given those items away long ago. They wanted to use some of my stuff to sell in combination with some of theirs hoping to sell one big lot because no one wanted much of his.
Their memory is full of holes a because most of their time around here or most homes has been intoxicated. They commented on the way some old appliances were working-again that way for decades and they accuse me of messing them up recently. They said they actually paid bills for a parent they borrowed 10s of thousands of dollars off of and never paid back. I knew the parent they advised and handled a matter for them to help themselves a decade earlier. The parent said they stopped paying owed monies a few years later.
They've mentioned how they want to be remembered on more than one occasion but got extremely upset after a recent holiday dinner/drinking binge gone bad-other people apparently spoke the truth ie they knew about their lifestyle, unpaid loans, duis, bankruptcies, pig sty living etc. That really upset them and put them on another war path. They actually thought their behavior was a secret. They assumed certain people only spoke highly of them but got upset/rattled when other family told them differently-it really bothered them. They've always berated various family over the years but over the last few they've been blasting holiday dinners to get at the host mostly as a deflection I guess. The criticize anything from the food, the schedule, the way people acted etc. Attendance is voluntary so if one can't stand them don't go. They show up to kiss family butt as much as anything and want to be remembered for it(they criticize those who don't or rarely come all the time).
In the end they did everything right and others did everything wrong. Another day in an alcoholic narcissist's life.
Was putting some of my stuff away. It was vintage 1980s, been in the house out on display for DECADES. Asked if I recently got it in the trash or a thrift store. They also wondered what happened to some things of mine that were gone for a over a decade. They were shocked, stunned and angered to learn I had given those items away long ago. They wanted to use some of my stuff to sell in combination with some of theirs hoping to sell one big lot because no one wanted much of his.
Their memory is full of holes a because most of their time around here or most homes has been intoxicated. They commented on the way some old appliances were working-again that way for decades and they accuse me of messing them up recently. They said they actually paid bills for a parent they borrowed 10s of thousands of dollars off of and never paid back. I knew the parent they advised and handled a matter for them to help themselves a decade earlier. The parent said they stopped paying owed monies a few years later.
They've mentioned how they want to be remembered on more than one occasion but got extremely upset after a recent holiday dinner/drinking binge gone bad-other people apparently spoke the truth ie they knew about their lifestyle, unpaid loans, duis, bankruptcies, pig sty living etc. That really upset them and put them on another war path. They actually thought their behavior was a secret. They assumed certain people only spoke highly of them but got upset/rattled when other family told them differently-it really bothered them. They've always berated various family over the years but over the last few they've been blasting holiday dinners to get at the host mostly as a deflection I guess. The criticize anything from the food, the schedule, the way people acted etc. Attendance is voluntary so if one can't stand them don't go. They show up to kiss family butt as much as anything and want to be remembered for it(they criticize those who don't or rarely come all the time).
In the end they did everything right and others did everything wrong. Another day in an alcoholic narcissist's life.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
I thought you were going to remove this person from your life?
This microfocus on them really hurts you more than they. What about really cutting them off for good and putting the focus back on you and your life for good?
Looking for logic, morals, honesty from an alcoholic Narcissist is looking for bread in a hardware store.
This microfocus on them really hurts you more than they. What about really cutting them off for good and putting the focus back on you and your life for good?
Looking for logic, morals, honesty from an alcoholic Narcissist is looking for bread in a hardware store.
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 216
Yes, lot of them actually think people don't notice, neither know nothing about their condition, when of course, everyone notices it mostly.
check out the video where late Robin Williams talks about his own addiction. He mentions this too. Also, check out Anthony Hopkins talk about his, he also said it how he was certain others have an issue, but not him.
Sad condition, truly. The real problem is, like @Hawkeye said, how non addicts expect logic from addicts. Logic has left the building here though. However, this tells you something about our own Illogic-to expect it over and over again when you're countless times proven the opposite from the one you're expecting it from.
At the end of the day, it seems how relationship with anyone like that is an accurate reflection of our own 'holes In the memory". Makes you wonder, right!?...
check out the video where late Robin Williams talks about his own addiction. He mentions this too. Also, check out Anthony Hopkins talk about his, he also said it how he was certain others have an issue, but not him.
Sad condition, truly. The real problem is, like @Hawkeye said, how non addicts expect logic from addicts. Logic has left the building here though. However, this tells you something about our own Illogic-to expect it over and over again when you're countless times proven the opposite from the one you're expecting it from.
At the end of the day, it seems how relationship with anyone like that is an accurate reflection of our own 'holes In the memory". Makes you wonder, right!?...
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
I thought you were going to remove this person from your life?
This microfocus on them really hurts you more than they. What about really cutting them off for good and putting the focus back on you and your life for good?
Looking for logic, morals, honesty from an alcoholic Narcissist is looking for bread in a hardware store.
This microfocus on them really hurts you more than they. What about really cutting them off for good and putting the focus back on you and your life for good?
Looking for logic, morals, honesty from an alcoholic Narcissist is looking for bread in a hardware store.
You can tell he is trying to build a legacy or reputation like a politician. Politicians and celebrity PR people say they like to 'get out in front it'. Here he verbalizes his version of the truth as fast and as often as he can at every opportunity. It's literally like a campaign, a mission which all started at a holiday dinner late last year.
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