The apartment
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 471
The apartment
I'm just getting into (my temporary air mattress bed) at my new apartment for the first night here.
The grief and fatigue is overwhelming, but I know I have done the right thing, despite how hard it has been.
My DS has been staying close to me all day. As he went to bed, he asked if he could take a glass of water to his room. I'm floored. Has he felt so controlled he needs to ask that?
I know I can give him a calm, respectful household where I can gently push his confidence and independence in the right direction.
I'm looking forward to my own independence too.
But now...sleep.
My new journey starts, and I am forever grateful for the people on this forum who always understand. I'm not saying goodbye, btw. I'm not going anywhere, except to sleep. X
The grief and fatigue is overwhelming, but I know I have done the right thing, despite how hard it has been.
My DS has been staying close to me all day. As he went to bed, he asked if he could take a glass of water to his room. I'm floored. Has he felt so controlled he needs to ask that?
I know I can give him a calm, respectful household where I can gently push his confidence and independence in the right direction.
I'm looking forward to my own independence too.
But now...sleep.
My new journey starts, and I am forever grateful for the people on this forum who always understand. I'm not saying goodbye, btw. I'm not going anywhere, except to sleep. X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Such a big step Wom, good for you.
I remember the first night in my own place, it was a mixed bag of emotion. Like you said, their was a deep, bitter grief...but there was also great relief and release of anxious tension. It took me a little time to settled into my new reality. When you are used to living with extreme stress, it feels like something is missing once it stops. It stopped so abruptly when I moved away from AXH it was like hitting a wall. Imagine an animated toy top spinning, spinning, spinning across the floor, then it hits the wall, falls over, shakes it's head, then looks around all shocked wondering why it stopped spinning... it was an adjustment to get used to a life where I wasn't "spinning" anymore. It has been a journey, and it hasn't always been easy, but it has definitely been worth it.
I am glad you plan to stick around with us. I am sure your story will be an inspiration to others who may need to hear it.
Sweet dreams friend, I hope you sleep well and wake feeling refreshed and eager for the brighter days ahead.
I remember the first night in my own place, it was a mixed bag of emotion. Like you said, their was a deep, bitter grief...but there was also great relief and release of anxious tension. It took me a little time to settled into my new reality. When you are used to living with extreme stress, it feels like something is missing once it stops. It stopped so abruptly when I moved away from AXH it was like hitting a wall. Imagine an animated toy top spinning, spinning, spinning across the floor, then it hits the wall, falls over, shakes it's head, then looks around all shocked wondering why it stopped spinning... it was an adjustment to get used to a life where I wasn't "spinning" anymore. It has been a journey, and it hasn't always been easy, but it has definitely been worth it.
I am glad you plan to stick around with us. I am sure your story will be an inspiration to others who may need to hear it.
Sweet dreams friend, I hope you sleep well and wake feeling refreshed and eager for the brighter days ahead.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 195
Wom, I'm so happy that you have your own place now. I am sure that both you and your son are absolutely exhausted and emotionally spent. Once you have a chance to settle I bet a whole new sense of peace and well-being will set in. You are moving forward and that is good. Big hugs to you both!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Wombaticus,
I hope you were able to get a good night's sleep, and that you are winding down for another tonight. I hope your days have been productive as you and your son settle into this new place and this new phase in your lives. May your peace increase with each passing hour and day in your new environment!
I hope you were able to get a good night's sleep, and that you are winding down for another tonight. I hope your days have been productive as you and your son settle into this new place and this new phase in your lives. May your peace increase with each passing hour and day in your new environment!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 471
Thanks all. We're figuring it all out slowly. DS is being more social, and is really benefiting from that. I slept amazingly well last night and got up and went for a swim. Feeling ok today.
I'm analysing too much - if I had only.....if I had been faster, taller, cleaner, purpler, spottier, etc etc maybe things would have been different .
Well yes, they may have been, but I probably still would have been where I am now.
When those thoughts come up, I am trying to just acknowledge them...I'm having those thoughts again. I've done my best.
I'm analysing too much - if I had only.....if I had been faster, taller, cleaner, purpler, spottier, etc etc maybe things would have been different .
Well yes, they may have been, but I probably still would have been where I am now.
When those thoughts come up, I am trying to just acknowledge them...I'm having those thoughts again. I've done my best.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,634
You really have.
I'm so glad you are finally in your own place with your DS Wombaticus. Now, after a little while, I think you will get a feeling that is more content. Living in stress, worry and drama all the time is so wearing, as you well know.
I'm so glad you are finally in your own place with your DS Wombaticus. Now, after a little while, I think you will get a feeling that is more content. Living in stress, worry and drama all the time is so wearing, as you well know.
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