Please help me. Warning: Explicit

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06-17-2020, 06:58 AM

# 61 (permalink)

pizza67

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Jun 2019

Posts: 298

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wombaticus

Recently I had this thought when my son was suicidal:
I could be in 2025 saying 'I would give everything I own to get my son back'.
I am petrified of not having enough money, but I am leaving anyway. My DSs and I are worth so much more than the latest expensive item. So.ehow it will all work out. I will get to 2025 knowing I did everything I could.
No doubt about it, it's hard packing up and moving. I'm crying every day.
My advice to you is this: stop focussing on what he is doing and saying. What do you want????

I’ve followed your story, Wombat, and you make a good point. I hope your son is doing better.

06-17-2020, 12:50 PM

# 62 (permalink)

ErinGoBragh

In search of myself

Join Date: May 2011

Location: Philadelphia FREEDOM

Posts: 149

Quote:

Originally Posted by pizza67

I sh_t you not, he has gone the entire day not speaking and texting about himself as “this abuser” who needs to ask permission to eat....Has anyone ever seen anything like this?

Yes, I went through this and then some. I finally had enough and left. I was separated from my AH for 5.5 years (we never divorced) before he succumbed to alcoholism and died. By getting away from him, and just ignoring his rants the final year of his life, I found peace.

I can't begin to tell you how great life is for me today. Just before I left him, I realized my disgust and anger at the treatment I'd received trumped my fears of leaving.

06-19-2020, 02:58 PM

# 63 (permalink)

pizza67

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Jun 2019

Posts: 298

The latest in the insanity follies

So we all ignored the “this abuser” crap and now he’s allegedly giving up alcohol “because you insist, not because I think I have to.” I warned him that this is the wrong (doomed to fail) motive and will breed resentment. So now we are treated to the angry, controlling, critical, bitter, resentful dry drunk who thinks he can micromanage my diet, and who stormed out with a bag of Fritos because I ate a 160 calorie bag of chips....

and I am “never satisfied” even though I “got what I wanted.” I don’t remember saying I wanted to be married to an a-hole...

06-19-2020, 03:16 PM

# 64 (permalink)

SparkleKitty

Member

Join Date: Aug 2012

Location: Chicago

Posts: 5,450

It's all the same follies, my friend. None of this is recovery. None of this is real change. It's just another facet of the same dysfunction.

06-19-2020, 07:51 PM

# 65 (permalink)

DontRemember

Member

Join Date: Dec 2014

Posts: 2,966

People only treat me the way I allow them to treat me.

06-19-2020, 09:11 PM

# 66 (permalink)

Tacotuesday

Member

Join Date: Mar 2020

Posts: 26

Even though we all know this is the nature of the beast - it still hurts to go through. Sending you strength Pizza.

06-20-2020, 06:17 PM

# 67 (permalink)

ErinGoBragh

In search of myself

Join Date: May 2011

Location: Philadelphia FREEDOM

Posts: 149

Quote:

Originally Posted by pizza67

So now we are treated to the angry, controlling, critical, bitter, resentful dry drunk who thinks he can micromanage my diet, and who stormed out with a bag of Fritos because I ate a 160 calorie bag of chips....

and I am “never satisfied” even though I “got what I wanted.” I don’t remember saying I wanted to be married to an a-hole...

Perhaps you should start building an exit plan and just ignore his behavior. Nobody needs to be "treated" this this childish, downright looney, behavior unless they choose it. Take away his audience, and he won't stage these performances.