melissaealy

Hello Peaches,Im sorry to hear you are still haveing troubles.I dont really know how to help cause I cant seem to help my self but I will keep u in my prayers and hope everything turns out well for you.

Peaches04

Hi Melissa....thank you so much. I actually had a talk with him tonight and told him no more drinking or I will ask for a divorce. He didn't take that too well, and said I was a control freak, weirdo, "AA freak", said "YOU are not the person I married - you used to drink and we had fun"... I bit my tongue. I wanted to say "thank God I'm not that person, or our kids would be hopeless!" on and on.... He had started the conversation by telling me that he had realized he was drinking too much, and that he had control of it now. And I said well, that's what you said last time, and he said "well, I know, but now I realize there's no reason to have 10-12 beers a night. and I said, "that's what you said last time we had this talk - and it happened again." So, he said, that well he'd expect me to understand if on occasion he was celebrating and had 10 beers or so...and I said "no, I don't think so. I don't want you if you are going to drink at all". And he said "so, you'll divorce me if I drink"? and I said "yes". He wigged out - I am remarkably very much at peace and don't even feel the least bit stressed. I almost feel giddy...like a new door is opening in my life!

wraybear

this addiction business can make us, the sober spouse feel insane. That is part of the illness. Once I started reading more about alcoholism I realized that I needed some fixin, mentally! I know many of us, before we started reading and getting help for ourselves actually felt insane at times. We believe the things they tell us, like we are the poor communicator, we are the one with the problem because we don't believe their lies, then we eventually start believing we are the crazy one and then they, consciously or unconsciosly, give us the "crazy" label, so they feel like they are the sane one. And over the months and years, it almost becomes that way. This is why it is so important for you to help yourself. It is a very sad thing, I know in my case, i felt so crazy at times, that I didn't want to get help because I didn't want anyone to know how crazy I was... NOW THAT's CRAZY!!!!