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SaveHer 05-25-2020 09:54 PM

What to Tell Daughter
 
My three-year-old daughter has been aware that our family is different from other families for a while now. About a month ago, she started asking questions. I've been dreading this moment but knew it was inevitable. At first, she asked, "Why don't we have a daddy?" I kept it simple but honest and told her, "Your daddy wasn't ready to be a daddy." Now, she has started asking me, "Why was our daddy not ready to be a daddy?" I told her, "I don't know how to answer that. I'm sorry you don't have a daddy, but you have a mommy who loves you very much." She's a very observant and intelligent little girl, and I know the questions will keep coming. I'm having a hard time figuring out how (or whether) to explain a very sordid situation to such a young girl. I'm wondering how anyone else has handled this.

dandylion 05-26-2020 12:50 AM

saveher-----I have not had to face your particular situation, but I guess that if I did, I would consult with a child psychologist for guidance.

DontRemember 05-26-2020 01:23 AM

I honestly have zero recollection of my "3's". Seems like he's been absent most of her life so, don't have those conversations with her. There's literally zero reason to. When she gets to proper age and starts asking it's probably time to have her talk to someone.

nikegoddess112 05-26-2020 02:13 AM

Kudos!

Here's some info I relate to:

"
It's natural for kids to have questions about why their father isn't in their life. As painful as it is to be the one stuck doing the explaining, these questions are ones you cannot ignore. As a result, be prepared with what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.

While you might not want to share every gritty detail with your child regardingy their father is absent, there are ways to answer their questions that help children feel more secure. To accomplish this, it helps to do a little planning advance."

https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-t...athers-2997224

Nd819 05-26-2020 08:18 AM

SaveHer, I haven't had to deal with this so like others I think a child counselor would be a wonderful resource. One thing to consider is that she is probably just asking out of curiosity, as a mom I would be so worried about her being sad or in pain but again I bet it's just curiosity. I'm sure you are a wonderful mom and will come up with the right answers! ((hugs))

Tacotuesday 05-26-2020 01:46 PM

Honestly I think you answered her questions exactly the right way. If I were in your shoes I’d answer future questions similarly - that you can’t speak for him but you can speak for yourself & you love her. I also think being as honest as possible for their age is good.


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