Hopeworks

I was blowing through the forums the other day and read a post where someone mentioned having read a post years before that had been helpful to her about "WEMTAG" or something like that which stands for "we expect more from the alcoholic (addict) than they are capable of giving". I have looked for this post but can't find it but keep thinking about it as I have been dealing with an extremely toxic resident in our supportive homeless community who probably needs to become an ex-resident very, very soon!

Does anyone have the correct wording? I want to add it to my self talk inventory of wise sayings when I am talking to the extremely toxic self absorbed resident today who has this personal narrative of victimization (she spent 20 years in prison and was homeless) and whom I am most likely going to have to have her exit stage right very, very soon for the health of the rest of the residents.

Keeping the bar very, very low for some people but at some point they have to get off the floor and and at least toddle a few steps towards being less selfish and try to get better....

qtpi

we expect more of the alcoholic than a .....I forget the rest. It was a quote from an Alanon book. Wemota.... I memorized the phrase but it’s been 4 years since I lived with alcoholism. I feel like I am coming out the other side a happier and more balanced person. I did expect more than he could deliver. I couldn’t be loved and cared for. My feelings and needs were not important. I think the rest of the phrase could have been .... a sick individual is capable of.

dandylion

Hopeworks, I am sorry, that I don't know the phrase, either---even though I am familiar with the Concept. I think that the Concept is what is important, and,it sounds like you have gotten that down. You have my complete empathy with your position.
I have worked with people at various levels of damaged personhood, most of my life---and, I have faced similar. It sounds like you hare/are doing as much as you are capable of in this situation.
I understand the desire to "reach" them and alleviate their suffering. This means that you are a caring and compassionate person, to feel this way.
I think that we offer them what we, realistically, can---we do what is possible---then we have no choice but to turn the rest of it over to God (The Universe).
As for your "self talk"----I think that the Serenity Prayer is as good as anything.

Hopeworks

We expect more out of the A... or broken person....

WEMOB. It’s an AHA ( awareness honesty action)… WEMOB Epiphany

PeacefulWater12

Thanks for these posts today. They have been helpful to me.