Defamatory?
 

Things just got nasty.
Conversations have just gone to email so he can cover his a##, im being accused of defamation, and being called malignant.
I'm going to have to find some strength from somewhere. God knows where from.

Email can cover your tail, too. Hang in there!!

You have strength within you. Unless you're going around making false statements about him to others I would stop worrying about defamation. Accusing him of something in a conversation doesn't count.

Are you ready to wrap this up? It must be very stressful sharing a house now it's got to this stage.

I may be mistaken but I don't think you can accuse someone of defamation if what they are saying is true? Sorry it's getting ugly, hoping things settle soon.

I'm ready.

I'm certainly not defaming him.
DS is depressed and has said he is sick of feeling sad all the time, and says AH is no longer acting like he is part of our family. I have told AH this and the Dr. Im just trying to get my child some help.
My family has been offering to help as much as thet can, AH just comes out swinging. If someone in my life reacts like this when I reach out for help, then I want nothing to do with them.

you don't have to read or respond to his emails. it's all just more letters combined to make words - his blathering only works if he has an AUDIENCE. if he can get you to REACT.

I ignored it. And I'm ignoring his current superdad act with the kids he has started up to prove me wrong. He's been short-tempered with them most nights over the past few years, except miraculously today!
ps I told my counsellor about the bread at the hardware store. He liked it.

:scoregood

Hi, was the defamatory bit about him not being an engaged father by any chance? If so maybe it was what he needed to hear.

I hope he gets enough positive feedback from the kids to put a bit more effort in for more that one or two days.

Yes, definately. Im no lawyer, but I can pick what defamation isn't.
It's certainly what he needed to hear.
And while I was at work today he sat them down and told them there was two sides to every story (true, of course). Eldest ask whether he and I would be getting a divorce, and he said yes, thats a possibility.
Nice for him to have discussed it with me first.
AH has taken my words which is that our difficulties have caused him to be distant from his children, and turned that into an excuse.
And so now eldest has decided he will live half time with me and half time with him, and that everything that dad has done to hurt him is forgiven as there are two sides to every story. Last week, eldest talked about getting away from dad the moment he finished school.
And dad comes home with new electronic gear for them.
Meanwhile i can hardly stand up.

Stay calm Wombat, just like your spirit animal. This is just one small step towards separation and divorce. Don't get sucked into tit for tat - the kids will eventually work things out themselves.
I can see that when he finally engages they would be so grateful they will temporarily overlook everything else that has happened. Just keep doing what you do, which is be a rock for them.
It might pay to have some time alone with him, sober, to make the decision to go ahead with the divorce and agree on some rules regarding what you tell the kids. At the moment it's just stringing out and causing everyone extra stress.