"Horrifying Surge" in Domestic Violence Since Lockdown
 

Traffic on this board has been very, very light since the start of lockdowns, and I'm guessing that part of the reason is that people in need of help may not have the privacy they need to post/read here w/o their qualifier finding out.

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronav...0342788&orgid=

Hoping that those in need are able to access some kind of assistance, since the urgency clearly has ramped up considerably.

Yeah, well we saw that coming, right? Unfortunately.

Here's the thread Anna (Admin of the site) started:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ovid-19-a.html


It has a list of resources, phone numbers in the thread, and more help and resources listed in that sticky post she linked.

bim, thanks so much for posting that link. I wasn't aware it was out there, so I appreciate you including it.

Just the other day I saw an exchange on Nextdoor where someone was whining that they'd seen people out and about when the person who started the thread didn't think they should be. She accused the folks of being selfish, inconsiderate, etc. Several others jumped on and agreed--why can't everyone just stay in their house like they're supposed to? They're endangering others!

Then someone else posted that "home isn't necessarily a safe or healthy place for some people", and that since we really don't KNOW the story, maybe best to not talk bad about what we don't know.

I joined in and said that as far as I knew, you couldn't find an in-person AA or Alanon meeting right now, no matter what. I mentioned that leaving the house might be folks doing everything in their power to either stay safe or stay sober.

Things got very rude, and the thread was eventually taken down. It made me realize again what a really remarkable group of people we have here at SR. Thanks, all.

We here in Washington are "locked down" but we are allowed out for walks. I hope that doesn't change, it's the way I've remained sane. I go at 7AM and rarely see more than three people out where I'm going, and I'm able to stay 15-20 feet away easily.

I have been in domestic violence situations. I can see how this would seriously ramp up that dynamic.

Prayers for the blue planet and all the little people who live here.

In Wisconsin, we are fortunate in that the state parks and trails are not only open, but have waived the normal usage fees so that they're free to all. And so many in my area live in good-sized houses with large yards, so have plenty of access to the outdoors w/o ever leaving home. I think that situation leads to a lot of the intolerance of others "breaking the rules" b/c it doesn't occur to the subdivision dwellers that someone might live in a tiny apartment surrounded by loud neighbors where getting away is absolutely necessary for both physical and mental health. I know I'm certainly guilty of assuming that b/c I have access to a certain resource, everyone else does too...

I'm lucky because we live out in the country so I can get outside for a break, and sometimes I go for a drive and pretend I'm not going back home - can't abandon my dogs though and have nowhere to go to, and if I took "his" truck, he would be really angry. He's been not drinking very much for a few weeks now, but hard to live with. Never violent, but often angry. Tells me I am wrong a lot, so I've stopped talking except to answer him when he talks. He seems to be playing a new game, he gets up in the middle of the daily update by our health officers, which causes the dogs to get excited and bark because they are going outside and so the ruckus interrupts the update. I think his anger could be from not drinking, but the games, winding people up, have always happened, just more often now.
I'm trying to just be polite and pleasant, and trying hard to not react.
I know it could be much worse, I lived with a violent man many years ago, and I remember that terror, my heart goes out to all who are suffering locked up with abusive partners.
:grouphug:

I read an article today that said here in California some young man punched his mother at 3 am for hiding the toilet paper from him.

I just remember thinking he was old enough to buy his own toilet paper. One good thing about living with roommates, despite the problems, is that we are unlikely to have domestic violence episodes.

I feel for anyone who feels trapped by their abuser right now. I was once in a relationship with someone who had serious anger issues (and more pertinently, a serious problem with physically acting out on those issues) and yes I can see how cabin fever could aggravate the situation because you can't take a break from each other, if it's a romantic relationship.

Take care, folks. :grouphug:

My DS had a period of hypomania last week, and I've quickly put a plan in place with our Dr. AH thinks all can be solved with a walk outside (I agree it's an important strategy, but only part of it), and that will make him snap out if it.
I'm being ignored. If I walk into a room, he leaves. No chance of him being physically aggressive, just passive-aggressive.
Every time he does this, I just say 'really???' Grow up!!' to him in my head. Sometimes I treat it like a game, other times it brings me to tears.

Common sense, I hope, will prevail. Getting fresh air and exercise with the recommended social distancing (especially if someone at home is unhappy/ drunk/ or only peevish) is way, way different from wandering around the few open stores window shopping because you're bored. What are people supposed to do, not walk their dogs?

State parks in Wisconsin have now been closed due to "unprecedented crowding, littering and vandalism", per our governor. My disgust knows no bounds...