So I have been gone from home for over a week. I have felt pretty good for the most part. I’ve had a couple bad moments. But over all it’s been peaceful other than the occasional having to speak to AH about kids and he wants to see them.

So my son has went and stayed with him several times. From what I gather he’s done fairly decent. And my daughter went and stayed the day with him once and stayed the night one night. She said he did very good. But she did not want to go. She wanted to stay with me. But she ended up staying and she said they had a good time.

then last night he wanted her to come over. She has went somewhere with our church and when I picked her up I told her we were going to her dads and she completely freaked out on me. She cried and begged for me not to make her go. And when we got there I let him see her and told him she was not staying. And of course he was pissed. And automatically started blaming me. I was poisoning her brain. I was the one keeping them from him. He was gonna have his time with them. She was clearly upset. She did not want to stay. She said after we left that she was afraid because he’s always drunk at night.

we leave and he calls me today. And asked why she didn’t wanna stay. Or see him. I said she does want to see you but she doesn’t wanna spend the night. I told him that she was scared. Well you can imagine how that went. Blame game again. It’s my fault. She’s listening to me. He’s never done anything to harm her. He’s so good to her. And no he never harmed her psychically. But she witnessed everything that went on in that house to. I told him he needed to work on his relationship with her. Without yelling without bashing me. And really talk and listen to her feelings. And then he of course put the blame on me again. And I just hung up the phone. I’m not listening to the blame game anymore.

What do I do? Do I keep her from him. Clearly she’s scared. And clearly he doesn’t understand. That’s the usual. He does no wrong.

daughter is 11 son is 14

He took today off and text me this morning and asked if he could see her today while I worked. My daughter said she wanted to go. I told him he needed to talk to her and actually listen. he of course was mad at me. Blaming me for all the problems. And said that I have left and took the kids.

I was gone almost an hr. If that and she started texting me saying she was ready for me to get her. Over and over and then the next thing I know he pulls up with her. She comes in. And 10 mins later. He comes in. He sits down and tries to talk for a few minutes. I tried to explain to him why she’s afraid to be there. And of course it’s blame me. It’s my fault. I’m doing this. Hells a coming. I’m turning her against him. I said she’s only 11 and she’s struggling. He said I’m struggling to. I’m upset to. I said it’s not about us. It’s about the kids. And he turned to her and said fine if you don’t wanna be around me you don’t have to be. I’ll leave you alone. Have it your way. If you don’t wanna be at my house I don’t want you there. And walked out the door.

she said he sat her down and told her how much he loved her and that he has never done anything wrong towards her and there is no reason why she shouldn’t want to come see him. And that her momma was doing nothing but poisoning her mind. His typical response. Blame everyone else but yourself. And not try and work on the problem. Just blame someone else.

i don’t expect anything different. It’s always the same thing with him. I thought maybe since it was morning he might be sobered up enough to have a conversation with her and work on things.

I know it’s not my responsibility but he keeps blaming me for keeping her away. And for some stupid reason I thought if she told him what was bothering her he would listen. Clearly I’m wrong

Well things escalated bad this evening. He said he wasn’t giving my son back. He said he’s gonna do the same thing to me that me and daughter are doing to him. Keeping him from me. I called my lawyer and am meeting with him tomorrow to sign papers to get process going but the courts are shut down so it will be end of April before we can really do anything. He told me that he is not giving him to me until I bring him my daughter. We would just trade. My lawyer said you can’t get emergency custody unless the kids life was in danger. Really?? I’m about to go crazy I don’t know what to do.

we have no custody agreement right now. I just left a week ago. I had a consultation with a lawyer. And we went over all my options. But I hadn’t filed anything yet. I have tried to be nice through all this. My son has wanted to see him and I have tried to take him whenever he did. My daughter refuses to stay with him. Absolutely refuses. And it had infuriated him. So now he’s punishing me.