What to do?
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
This isn't going to look good for him during any future custody hearings. Have you spoken to your son?
Make sure you get as much as possible in writing, text if AH won't write or email.
Make sure you get as much as possible in writing, text if AH won't write or email.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
kc...this is my gut reaction to this...as a mother who realizes how important it is to not see the parents "fighting" (my ex husband was a colossal jerk). I believe that you said that your daughter was not opposed to seeing him for a while but did not want to stay...like overnight....?
And, that the son does not mind being with him.
In this case, if it were me (and I know it is not)….I would refuse the "fight" with him (just during this time that the courts are not available)….and, take the daughter over to his house during the daytime for a while. periodically. During that time you can visit with your son...and, the kids can visit together.
You could either stay at the house with them....or you could leave for a while to go somewhere and come back, later.
I don't imagine that he could withhold your son, totally, as it might really put him in hot water by such a move. If you refuse to indulge him in the tit-for-tat....it is hard for him to use the kids as a tool to torture you...and, most importantly, makes them less in the middle....
If he should insist on arguing with you or insulting you in front of the kids,,,J would certainly go elsewhere for a while.....
If you could carry out visitation while appearing relatively calm and confident, the kids are more likely to feel more secure about what is happening, I think.....
And, that the son does not mind being with him.
In this case, if it were me (and I know it is not)….I would refuse the "fight" with him (just during this time that the courts are not available)….and, take the daughter over to his house during the daytime for a while. periodically. During that time you can visit with your son...and, the kids can visit together.
You could either stay at the house with them....or you could leave for a while to go somewhere and come back, later.
I don't imagine that he could withhold your son, totally, as it might really put him in hot water by such a move. If you refuse to indulge him in the tit-for-tat....it is hard for him to use the kids as a tool to torture you...and, most importantly, makes them less in the middle....
If he should insist on arguing with you or insulting you in front of the kids,,,J would certainly go elsewhere for a while.....
If you could carry out visitation while appearing relatively calm and confident, the kids are more likely to feel more secure about what is happening, I think.....
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I feel for you and for your daughter. My XAH did this exact thing. I wish I had some golden advise. All I have is this. Get your kids into counseling if they are not, it's worth it's weight in gold if you have the right person. Secondly, just be there for them and listen. Tell them over and over it's not their fault. My child stopped going to her dad's house just as soon as she did not have to. They have a very distant relationship because he will never own what he has done and actually change things.
Sending a big hug to you.
she said he sat her down and told her how much he loved her and that he has never done anything wrong towards her and there is no reason why she shouldn’t want to come see him. And that her momma was doing nothing but poisoning her mind. His typical response. Blame everyone else but yourself. And not try and work on the problem. Just blame someone else.
Sending a big hug to you.
Originally Posted by kc05 
she said he sat her down and told her how much he loved her and that he has never done anything wrong towards her and there is no reason why she shouldn’t want to come see him. And that her momma was doing nothing but poisoning her mind. His typical response. Blame everyone else but yourself. And not try and work on the problem. Just blame someone else.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by hopeful4
I feel for you and for your daughter. My XAH did this exact thing. I wish I had some golden advise. All I have is this. Get your kids into counseling if they are not, it's worth it's weight in gold if you have the right person. Secondly, just be there for them and listen. Tell them over and over it's not their fault. My child stopped going to her dad's house just as soon as she did not have to. They have a very distant relationship because he will never own what he has done and actually change things.
Sending a big hug to you.
Sending a big hug to you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
