Husband just out of detox
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 3
Husband just out of detox
My husband recently admitted to his problem with alcohol and went into a detox center. He was released after only 3 days and has been experiencing tremors and other symptoms of detox. The drs send him home with benzos to help with the symptoms, but I fear he is over medicating. It’s been two days since hi has come home and he hasn’t left the bed, sleeping all day. I just searched the house and found a lot of empty bottles of alcohol hidden. I guess my questions are, do I confront him about the empty bottles I found? And I also is his use of medication normal after going to a detox center? Should I ask that he go back in? Or maybe go to an extended in patient rehab?
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 436
Hi Brocolli33
sorry for what brings you here
that all sounds a bit worrying. Can you call the doctor and explain your concerns, especially about the over medicating and possibly mixing the meds with alcohol?
I feel your husband's safety is the priority. A professional opinion will help you decide what to next.
sorry for what brings you here
that all sounds a bit worrying. Can you call the doctor and explain your concerns, especially about the over medicating and possibly mixing the meds with alcohol?
I feel your husband's safety is the priority. A professional opinion will help you decide what to next.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello Broccoli33;
Welcome to SR!
How did you feel when you found the empty hidden bottles? Mine was a beer drinker but come to find out he hid vodka in his fishing tackle box...
How do you feel about him being back home?
Is your H starting an outpatient program after detox?
You are not his nurse and I’d just do what you normally do.
Keep your focus on yourself. You can control you.
Have you thought about checking out Al Anon for yourself?
Wishing you a calm mind and clear action that benefits you,
Welcome to SR!
How did you feel when you found the empty hidden bottles? Mine was a beer drinker but come to find out he hid vodka in his fishing tackle box...
How do you feel about him being back home?
Is your H starting an outpatient program after detox?
You are not his nurse and I’d just do what you normally do.
Keep your focus on yourself. You can control you.
Have you thought about checking out Al Anon for yourself?
Wishing you a calm mind and clear action that benefits you,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 3
I honestly wasn’t surprised to find the bottles, just disappointed. I feel like they are from before he went to detox but I can’t be sure because I’ve lost all trust from his years of lying to me about his problem.
Ive been feeling really resentful of him since he’s been back home. I guess I wasn’t expected a groggy, completely out of it, heavily medicated H when he returned and I’m again, disappointed.
He says he’s going to start going to smart recovery meetings, but hasn’t yet. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him since he’s been home about his plan bc he’s been so heavily medicated. I know he doesn’t have another dr appointment until mid February.
Ive been feeling really resentful of him since he’s been back home. I guess I wasn’t expected a groggy, completely out of it, heavily medicated H when he returned and I’m again, disappointed.
He says he’s going to start going to smart recovery meetings, but hasn’t yet. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him since he’s been home about his plan bc he’s been so heavily medicated. I know he doesn’t have another dr appointment until mid February.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
That’s a lot to worry about all at once. It’s so hard but you’ve really got to take things minute by minute, and just let him be (in my opinion). Of course unless there’s a medical emergency or a withdrawal seizure for example. I went through this exact detox process with my ex more times than I have fingers... and hey, unfortunately it’s hell on their body and mind. He has to do this for himself... and you’ve gotta to let him do it, as he sees fit. And it sucks for all involved. Personally what would bringing up those empty bottles do? It’s like beating a dead horse, in my opinion. He’s “trying” to sober up... getting angry does absolutely no good. Bringing up hidden bottles is a waste of time... whether their drunk, sober, in detox, recovering. Why? Because they are alcoholics and hiding isn’t about you.
From experience, my suggestion: get out of the house and let him sleep... sleep all day... whatever he needs to do. I checked on my ex GF every few hours because of her seizures but it’s important to walk away or stay busy (not counting empty bottles!). Sure, not easy but honestly I feel suffocated just reading about your frustration.
If you would feel better, call his doctor but I do know it’s a grueling process.
From experience, my suggestion: get out of the house and let him sleep... sleep all day... whatever he needs to do. I checked on my ex GF every few hours because of her seizures but it’s important to walk away or stay busy (not counting empty bottles!). Sure, not easy but honestly I feel suffocated just reading about your frustration.
If you would feel better, call his doctor but I do know it’s a grueling process.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,634
Hi Broccoli! So is this his first detox?
Detox is simply the process of getting the alcoholic through early withdrawal safely, nothing more. Hopefully he isn't taking more of the pills than he has been advised to. Do you know how many he was prescribed? Personally I would absolutely ask him if he has been drinking as well.
Detox is hard on the body and can turn really serious really fast, so him resting and just letting his body detox is not a bad thing (again, especially if he is not over-medicating).
Once detoxed, if he decides to stay sober, the withdrawal can continue for a week or more, it's not a fast process.
Then there comes working on sobriety and recovery. I'm sure you have hoped for years that he would just stop, but that isn't really a "cure all".
I'm not sure how much you know about withdrawal and alcoholism but there is a wealth of information here, including the stickies at the top of the forum.
Detox is simply the process of getting the alcoholic through early withdrawal safely, nothing more. Hopefully he isn't taking more of the pills than he has been advised to. Do you know how many he was prescribed? Personally I would absolutely ask him if he has been drinking as well.
Detox is hard on the body and can turn really serious really fast, so him resting and just letting his body detox is not a bad thing (again, especially if he is not over-medicating).
Once detoxed, if he decides to stay sober, the withdrawal can continue for a week or more, it's not a fast process.
Then there comes working on sobriety and recovery. I'm sure you have hoped for years that he would just stop, but that isn't really a "cure all".
I'm not sure how much you know about withdrawal and alcoholism but there is a wealth of information here, including the stickies at the top of the forum.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 3
Yes, this is first time. Neither one of us has experienced anything like this before, so I’m just unsure what is normal after coming out of a detox center and the folks there were unable to talk to me about it.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,634
Well basically what you have described so far is "normal" extreme tiredness, but detoxing can become dangerous at any time (it's terrible they didn't explain this to you).
That's why he has been given medication, to help keep him safe. Alcohol withdrawal is one of the most dangerous drug withdrawals and I'm glad he sought help with that. If he starts to do anything you find unusual or concerning, I wouldn't hesitate to call 911 and have them advise you or have the EMTs out to assess him.
As he is obviously addicted, the drive to go back to drinking will still be strong. This is just a tiny start to his recovery, IF he chooses to go ahead with sobriety.
He will need support - AA, celebrate recovery, rehab, perhaps this is something the two of you could discuss now.
This is a , very brief, overview of the process and the drugs given for detoxing:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse/treatment/
To find more information you can google "alcohol withdrawal"
That's why he has been given medication, to help keep him safe. Alcohol withdrawal is one of the most dangerous drug withdrawals and I'm glad he sought help with that. If he starts to do anything you find unusual or concerning, I wouldn't hesitate to call 911 and have them advise you or have the EMTs out to assess him.
As he is obviously addicted, the drive to go back to drinking will still be strong. This is just a tiny start to his recovery, IF he chooses to go ahead with sobriety.
He will need support - AA, celebrate recovery, rehab, perhaps this is something the two of you could discuss now.
This is a , very brief, overview of the process and the drugs given for detoxing:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse/treatment/
To find more information you can google "alcohol withdrawal"
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Broccoli...…..would he be ameanable to going to a rehabilitation program.....?
Trailmix is right I believe, in that he will have a strong desire to drink ……
the detox process and the medications are just to keep the physical discomfort and dangers at bay....but, does nothing to deal with the emotional discomfort and the compulsion to drink...…
For that he will need emotional support of a program like AA (90 meetings in 90 days is common), an intensive outpatient program or an inpatient alcohol rehab program.....
You...and/or he can call the detox center and speak to someone....(they can refer you)….or, you/he can speak to his private doctor...….
Just left to his own devices without any further and rather immediate support....he is quite likely to go right back to drinking.....
Trailmix is right I believe, in that he will have a strong desire to drink ……
the detox process and the medications are just to keep the physical discomfort and dangers at bay....but, does nothing to deal with the emotional discomfort and the compulsion to drink...…
For that he will need emotional support of a program like AA (90 meetings in 90 days is common), an intensive outpatient program or an inpatient alcohol rehab program.....
You...and/or he can call the detox center and speak to someone....(they can refer you)….or, you/he can speak to his private doctor...….
Just left to his own devices without any further and rather immediate support....he is quite likely to go right back to drinking.....
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
We were told our AD's addiction Benzos and Alcohol were a deadly combination. I am surprised the doc would prescribe benzo's to an alcoholic who is only sober for 3 days. Could you call the doctor and say "I think he might be drinking, if he is should he be taking these benzos?" See what they say.
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 122
I agree with Leana post, alcohol and benzos are deadly combo. I have never understood how doctors can prescribe them abroad to alcoholics (we mandate it here that if you want benzos to detox you can only get them at special centres for this reason). Talk to your doctor.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Sounds like he's over-medicating to make up for the lack of alcohol, which doesn't work. It only creates dependence on another substance. You can't be high and sober at the same time. What about rehab? But to quit he has to have a burning desire to do so.
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