Spouse went to first aa meeting - I知 angry
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
what do YOU see as your options here?
Option b: stay, file for divorce
Option c: stay, try to detach and focus on myself
Option d: stay, hope and wait for him to get sober (like so many other people he痴 a wonderful sweet person when not drinking. So I see that side about. 30% of the time)
There痴 probably more but I can稚 think of any Right now.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 821
Option E:
Detach and focus on yourself no matter what.
Loving detachment doesn't mean to harden our heart against someone, nor does it mean gritting our teeth and doing our best to ignore shenanigans. It is not a stop gap measure as we put up with a difficult situation. Loving detachment must be part of every healthy relationship. If you eventually want a good relationship, either with your husband or with someone else, you must learn the art of happiness, which is always an inside job and loving detachment is a cornerstone of that. Letting others, especially our partners, be who they are, learning how to be happy and fulfilled because we choose to be happy and fulfilled, not because someone else feeds us good or bad behavior, this is loving detachment. It's a great skill that can be learned and practiced. Our children, our partners, everyone we know will be happier for it and we will have freedom from the tyranny of concern over what others are up to.
No relationship thrives when the partners are all balled up in evaluating whether the other is being "good" or "bad." Every good relationship requires loving detachment. It's an art and a skill that everyone who wants a mutually fulfilling relationship must practice. Certainly, it is also an essential element of personal happiness. Learn about and practice the art of loving detachment no matter what you decide to do about your marriage.
Detach and focus on yourself no matter what.
Loving detachment doesn't mean to harden our heart against someone, nor does it mean gritting our teeth and doing our best to ignore shenanigans. It is not a stop gap measure as we put up with a difficult situation. Loving detachment must be part of every healthy relationship. If you eventually want a good relationship, either with your husband or with someone else, you must learn the art of happiness, which is always an inside job and loving detachment is a cornerstone of that. Letting others, especially our partners, be who they are, learning how to be happy and fulfilled because we choose to be happy and fulfilled, not because someone else feeds us good or bad behavior, this is loving detachment. It's a great skill that can be learned and practiced. Our children, our partners, everyone we know will be happier for it and we will have freedom from the tyranny of concern over what others are up to.
No relationship thrives when the partners are all balled up in evaluating whether the other is being "good" or "bad." Every good relationship requires loving detachment. It's an art and a skill that everyone who wants a mutually fulfilling relationship must practice. Certainly, it is also an essential element of personal happiness. Learn about and practice the art of loving detachment no matter what you decide to do about your marriage.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,983
Originally Posted by FallenAngelina
Option E:
Detach and focus on yourself no matter what.
Loving detachment doesn't mean to harden our heart against someone, nor does it mean gritting our teeth and doing our best to ignore shenanigans. It is not a stop gap measure as we put up with a difficult situation. Loving detachment must be part of every healthy relationship. If you eventually want a good relationship, either with your husband or with someone else, you must learn the art of happiness, which is always an inside job and loving detachment is a cornerstone of that. Letting others, especially our partners, be who they are, learning how to be happy and fulfilled because we choose to be happy and fulfilled, not because someone else feeds us good or bad behavior, this is loving detachment. It's a great skill that can be learned and practiced. Our children, our partners, everyone we know will be happier for it and we will have freedom from the tyranny of concern over what others are up to.
No relationship thrives when the partners are all balled up in evaluating whether the other is being "good" or "bad." Every good relationship requires loving detachment. It's an art and a skill that everyone who wants a mutually fulfilling relationship must practice. Certainly, it is also an essential element of personal happiness. Learn about and practice the art of loving detachment no matter what you decide to do about your marriage.
Detach and focus on yourself no matter what.
Loving detachment doesn't mean to harden our heart against someone, nor does it mean gritting our teeth and doing our best to ignore shenanigans. It is not a stop gap measure as we put up with a difficult situation. Loving detachment must be part of every healthy relationship. If you eventually want a good relationship, either with your husband or with someone else, you must learn the art of happiness, which is always an inside job and loving detachment is a cornerstone of that. Letting others, especially our partners, be who they are, learning how to be happy and fulfilled because we choose to be happy and fulfilled, not because someone else feeds us good or bad behavior, this is loving detachment. It's a great skill that can be learned and practiced. Our children, our partners, everyone we know will be happier for it and we will have freedom from the tyranny of concern over what others are up to.
No relationship thrives when the partners are all balled up in evaluating whether the other is being "good" or "bad." Every good relationship requires loving detachment. It's an art and a skill that everyone who wants a mutually fulfilling relationship must practice. Certainly, it is also an essential element of personal happiness. Learn about and practice the art of loving detachment no matter what you decide to do about your marriage.
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