My Partner is Dying from Liver Failure
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I'm so, so sorry.
It is devastating to see a life lost in this way.
Through my work I came into contact with a 23 year old end stage alcoholic liver disease patient.
I will never ever forget that patient for the rest of my life.
I agree with you that no-one deserves to die in that way.
It is a cruel disease.
I can't imagine for you how horrific the feelings you have are.
I felt crushed from meeting her twice.
She couldn't speak for tubes.
I had to look for signs for yes and no from her thumbs when consenting to treatment.
After she died it was a blessing.
She was released from her suffering.
She was remembered as a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a student, and a talented film student.
Please remember all the good things your husband achieved.
Celebrate his life and what he was like as a man before alcohol took its grip.
I really wish you the best xx
It is devastating to see a life lost in this way.
Through my work I came into contact with a 23 year old end stage alcoholic liver disease patient.
I will never ever forget that patient for the rest of my life.
I agree with you that no-one deserves to die in that way.
It is a cruel disease.
I can't imagine for you how horrific the feelings you have are.
I felt crushed from meeting her twice.
She couldn't speak for tubes.
I had to look for signs for yes and no from her thumbs when consenting to treatment.
After she died it was a blessing.
She was released from her suffering.
She was remembered as a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a student, and a talented film student.
Please remember all the good things your husband achieved.
Celebrate his life and what he was like as a man before alcohol took its grip.
I really wish you the best xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 22
He is Gone. No More Suffering.
My partner let go and passed Friday night. It is not real yet.
Five months ago he went to live with parents and family 6 hours away. He was with them for 3 months and then he had a surge of strength and better health 6 weeks ago when he came home. He was strong enough for us to get a fresh Christmas tree and for him to set it up in the stand by himself. He was able to enjoy his last Christmas tree.
A week after he had to go to the hospital and he was only given a couple of weeks. He released himself out of hospital so he could come home for Christmas and New Years. I made sure he was okay but he was sleeping all of the time and was only able to get up for a limited hour here and there for fluids, to use the washroom, and to take a bath.
It got scary since he could barely walk and his speech was getting harder to hear. I was scared for him to fall down the stairs or drown in the bathtub. It was actually less stressful when he was sleeping. I was able to do some errands during that time.
Christmas Day he was too weak to visit my family so he had Christmas alone. I was able to check on him before I left and then after I came home. New Years he was able to get up briefly for some appetizers that I made. But he was always the cook so the level of food was definitely not as good as his level.
Despite his weakness he still was able to drink alcohol. In the end I know he was trying to expedite the process. He still had a stash somewhere. In hospital my partner got his sister to come in the house to empty out the empties from all of his hiding areas. He still wanted me to not know despite only having a couple of days to live.
I know in the end he spiritually was able to make peace. The only way he could communicate was in single words or motions. He was hooked to oxygen and had to have a catheter. He lost the ability to swallow and was given fluid through a sponge straw. He had pneumonia in the end and was struggling to cough.
In the end I know he is in a more peaceful place and he will be remembered for the good things he was able to help others with. In his career he helped people with disabilities, addiction and the homeless. He was able to help others but unable to help himself.
Five months ago he went to live with parents and family 6 hours away. He was with them for 3 months and then he had a surge of strength and better health 6 weeks ago when he came home. He was strong enough for us to get a fresh Christmas tree and for him to set it up in the stand by himself. He was able to enjoy his last Christmas tree.
A week after he had to go to the hospital and he was only given a couple of weeks. He released himself out of hospital so he could come home for Christmas and New Years. I made sure he was okay but he was sleeping all of the time and was only able to get up for a limited hour here and there for fluids, to use the washroom, and to take a bath.
It got scary since he could barely walk and his speech was getting harder to hear. I was scared for him to fall down the stairs or drown in the bathtub. It was actually less stressful when he was sleeping. I was able to do some errands during that time.
Christmas Day he was too weak to visit my family so he had Christmas alone. I was able to check on him before I left and then after I came home. New Years he was able to get up briefly for some appetizers that I made. But he was always the cook so the level of food was definitely not as good as his level.
Despite his weakness he still was able to drink alcohol. In the end I know he was trying to expedite the process. He still had a stash somewhere. In hospital my partner got his sister to come in the house to empty out the empties from all of his hiding areas. He still wanted me to not know despite only having a couple of days to live.
I know in the end he spiritually was able to make peace. The only way he could communicate was in single words or motions. He was hooked to oxygen and had to have a catheter. He lost the ability to swallow and was given fluid through a sponge straw. He had pneumonia in the end and was struggling to cough.
In the end I know he is in a more peaceful place and he will be remembered for the good things he was able to help others with. In his career he helped people with disabilities, addiction and the homeless. He was able to help others but unable to help himself.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
neutronstar…...my heart is going out to you, right now. I am glad that you came here to share this update and fill us in on what the final part of your journey together has been like....
I hope and trust that the memories of all that was good will bring comfort to your heart...…
I hope and trust that the memories of all that was good will bring comfort to your heart...…
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2,576
Neuronstar, firstly, please accept my condolences on the loss of your partner. Your story is an important one, especially on a web site such as ours. Many of us have gone on believing that it could not, would not happen to us. Sharing such a personal, private journey such as yours will help someone. Whether it be through their own addiction struggles, or through the eyes of the family.
I am sure you have touched many hearts today, and for years to come. You have touched mine. Through your share, you have allowed me to reflect on the death of my step father, who died almost identically to that of your partner. You have also reminded me of what my mother went through. She handled it with the same integrity and dignity you have shown in your post.
I wish you peace and healing. Thank you for your honesty.
I am sure you have touched many hearts today, and for years to come. You have touched mine. Through your share, you have allowed me to reflect on the death of my step father, who died almost identically to that of your partner. You have also reminded me of what my mother went through. She handled it with the same integrity and dignity you have shown in your post.
I wish you peace and healing. Thank you for your honesty.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
N,
I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful women you are to have never given up on him and loved him till his last breath.
Thank you for opening up with your personal journey. I see that you have been seeking SR support since 2008. I want you to know that in the 7 days of posting you have had over a 1000 views. Your "truth" has not only affected the F & F community but to all of the members fighting this horrendous battle. Please note, that maybe your post kept one person sober today and that is a blessing to you, you have made a difference in the world.
Please keep us up to date on how you are doing, we do care. ((((((((((hugs)))))))
I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful women you are to have never given up on him and loved him till his last breath.
Thank you for opening up with your personal journey. I see that you have been seeking SR support since 2008. I want you to know that in the 7 days of posting you have had over a 1000 views. Your "truth" has not only affected the F & F community but to all of the members fighting this horrendous battle. Please note, that maybe your post kept one person sober today and that is a blessing to you, you have made a difference in the world.
Please keep us up to date on how you are doing, we do care. ((((((((((hugs)))))))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
So very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace.
I remember what the priest at my father's funeral said. My talented, smart, funny, creative, loving father had died homeless at age 43 against the side of a building in the Bowery due to his alcoholism.
The priest said, "Now we can stop praying FOR Jack and start praying TO him." My father has been dead 50 years now, but I do believe he is still my angel.
Whatever your spiritual orientation is, know that your beloved partner will be with you forever.
I remember what the priest at my father's funeral said. My talented, smart, funny, creative, loving father had died homeless at age 43 against the side of a building in the Bowery due to his alcoholism.
The priest said, "Now we can stop praying FOR Jack and start praying TO him." My father has been dead 50 years now, but I do believe he is still my angel.
Whatever your spiritual orientation is, know that your beloved partner will be with you forever.
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