Originally Posted by FallenAngelina

Just to clarify:

Generalizations can be helpful to lift us out of our isolated mire and help us understand alcoholism instead of wondering what we're doing wrong, but we need to make a distinction between active alcoholics and those who have chosen recovery. "They" are not all unwilling and incapable of change. In fact, every single person can make enormous changes if that person chooses to. There is no such thing as a lost cause alcoholic. That is what makes things so confusing for us who love them and perhaps a big part of what keeps us hooked into their lives. There is always the potential for beautiful, positive change. What's important for us to be aware of is not that "they" do not change, but how to identify an alcoholic who is choosing committed recovery vs. an alcoholic who is not. The recovery choice and that commitment is a day to day thing, as is evidenced by relapses and "falling off the wagon." An alcoholic can falter, just as we can. We are all learning. But make no mistake that every alcoholic can indeed change by choosing to embrace a multifaceted recovery program this day and the next and the next and the next. It's up to us not to dismiss "them," but to discern whether our own alcoholic loved one is choosing their own recovery or their own demise - today. It's really either-or and with experience and education, we can get very good at recognizing which it is - today.