Looking back over the past year
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Looking back over the past year
I thought it might be interesting to start a thread in which people could talk about what has changed in their lives over the past year. It could be something huge or tiny, something serious or silly, something good that you want to continue or something not as good that you'd like to let go of.
This idea came to me b/c this AM, as I was making coffee, I remembered that about a year ago, I was frustrated w/my drip coffee maker. I have very hard water and it clogged up so fast, even though I ran vinegar through it on a regular basis. I tried cold brewing and was less than impressed. Wasn't interested in the French press. Instant was NOT an option--I'm not a coffee snob, but I do draw the line at instant unless there is no other choice.
Then I had an AHA! moment--I saw a big, shiny silver stovetop percolator w/a glass knob at the top and remembered how much I liked to watch the coffee perk when I was a kid (folks had an electric percolator, but they work on the same principle). "Golly", I said to myself, "you have a stove, and there's really nothing to clog or break or wear out in a percolator; give this a try!"
I bought a big old percolator and I absolutely love it! It's large enough that even on the occasions when I've forgotten to set the timer, it doesn't boil dry. I think it makes great coffee, and I hope we have many happy years together.
So that's one thing that's new in the course of the last year. What's up with you?
Here's a pic of Mr. Percolator and his friend, Ms. Teakettle, at home on the stove.
This idea came to me b/c this AM, as I was making coffee, I remembered that about a year ago, I was frustrated w/my drip coffee maker. I have very hard water and it clogged up so fast, even though I ran vinegar through it on a regular basis. I tried cold brewing and was less than impressed. Wasn't interested in the French press. Instant was NOT an option--I'm not a coffee snob, but I do draw the line at instant unless there is no other choice.
Then I had an AHA! moment--I saw a big, shiny silver stovetop percolator w/a glass knob at the top and remembered how much I liked to watch the coffee perk when I was a kid (folks had an electric percolator, but they work on the same principle). "Golly", I said to myself, "you have a stove, and there's really nothing to clog or break or wear out in a percolator; give this a try!"
I bought a big old percolator and I absolutely love it! It's large enough that even on the occasions when I've forgotten to set the timer, it doesn't boil dry. I think it makes great coffee, and I hope we have many happy years together.
So that's one thing that's new in the course of the last year. What's up with you?
Here's a pic of Mr. Percolator and his friend, Ms. Teakettle, at home on the stove.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
Three people whom I love dearly have been in recovery this last
year and are thriving. Such transformations! It is a most special
thing to see. I am doing well, staying on my side of the street and
I hope we are all able to continue on this healthy new path.
Lots of hard work on everyone's part, I can see it.
Happy New Year to all and may Mr. Percolator and Ms. Teakettle have a long
happy life!
year and are thriving. Such transformations! It is a most special
thing to see. I am doing well, staying on my side of the street and
I hope we are all able to continue on this healthy new path.
Lots of hard work on everyone's part, I can see it.
Happy New Year to all and may Mr. Percolator and Ms. Teakettle have a long
happy life!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Holy cows, mylifeismine! Three people who are dear to you in recovery--that's something to holler about, for sure! I'm so very happy for you and I share your hopes that all of you continue on your new healthy path.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Neat idea for a thread 
2019 was mostly a good year for me. After several crappy years in a row, the last few have been getting progressively better. Life is good, far from perfect, but overall good. Both thankful and grateful for this upward swing.
Last year's resolution was to lose some weight and get back in shape. I accomplished that and am proud of my progress. I've slipped the last six weeks or so and need to get back to the exercising more and eating fewer treats. I have a bit of a sweet tooth that I can usually control fairly well, but once I start in on the Xmas cookies...yikes! Darn holiday season always gets me.
Putting in an in-ground pool was a childhood dream that has finally come true! AND I am a big kid about it, I can't wait for the weather to warm back up a bit so I can get in there and splash around.
I'm considering finding a councilor. Despite life being so much better these days, and be being generally happy and stress free, I feel like I could talk some things out. Being the adult daughter of an alcoholic father and codependent mother, the ex-wife of an alcoholic husband, and being a recovering codependant myself perhaps that maybe, mighta, sorta, kinda left a few issues that could use some more work. I'm always telling everyone else to trust their instincts, so I'm thinking I ought to listen to mine on this.
Wishing Everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!
2019 was mostly a good year for me. After several crappy years in a row, the last few have been getting progressively better. Life is good, far from perfect, but overall good. Both thankful and grateful for this upward swing.
Last year's resolution was to lose some weight and get back in shape. I accomplished that and am proud of my progress. I've slipped the last six weeks or so and need to get back to the exercising more and eating fewer treats. I have a bit of a sweet tooth that I can usually control fairly well, but once I start in on the Xmas cookies...yikes! Darn holiday season always gets me.
Putting in an in-ground pool was a childhood dream that has finally come true! AND I am a big kid about it, I can't wait for the weather to warm back up a bit so I can get in there and splash around.
I'm considering finding a councilor. Despite life being so much better these days, and be being generally happy and stress free, I feel like I could talk some things out. Being the adult daughter of an alcoholic father and codependent mother, the ex-wife of an alcoholic husband, and being a recovering codependant myself perhaps that maybe, mighta, sorta, kinda left a few issues that could use some more work. I'm always telling everyone else to trust their instincts, so I'm thinking I ought to listen to mine on this.
Wishing Everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Small, glad to hear the streak of less-than-great years has been broken and you're on an upward trend now. I think that your idea of finding a professional to talk with is a good one. I hope you find out how to take what is useful from the past and carry it forward w/you while letting go of what no longer serves you and is not a positive force in your life.
And enjoy that pool!
And enjoy that pool!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 47
I moved back out of my parents house this year. When I left my EXAH I moved back to my parent's home. Several years and many challenges later (lost job, debt, underemployment, my own and family members health issues) I'm in my own apartment. It's not the big house that I had with EXAH but it is manageable for me. 2020 I'm feeling like a grown up who is able to take care of myself!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,609
Love this thread and the percolator HP! My parents had an electric one for a while too. There was something comforting about seeing it brewing morning coffee.
I just replaced my coffeemaker a couple of weeks ago, I wish I had thought of trying to find a percolator!
SBM - that's funny, I have been pondering trying therapy as well (and the pool, that's just great). Even looked up a few!
I just replaced my coffeemaker a couple of weeks ago, I wish I had thought of trying to find a percolator!
SBM - that's funny, I have been pondering trying therapy as well (and the pool, that's just great). Even looked up a few!
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,851
I will be glad to see 2019 in my rear view mirror. It was a horrible one for me health wise. Rarely ever got sick and almost never had to go to the doctor until April of this year. I developed peripheral neuropathy in my hands and feet, and it's been a steady diet of doctor visits and multiple tests trying to find the cause. Very expensive without insurance.
Was finally told last month that in about 50% of the cases, a direct cause is never found, so we are just treating the symptoms and will check in with the neurologist every three months. I can live with that.
Here's hoping 2020 is a better year.
Was finally told last month that in about 50% of the cases, a direct cause is never found, so we are just treating the symptoms and will check in with the neurologist every three months. I can live with that.
Here's hoping 2020 is a better year.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 471
Made a 5 year plan for some work goals and found a new mentor in my field.
DS and I are talking regularly - the best...for a teenager.
Set some boundaries which has brought out AH's true colours.
Consolidated some lovely friendships and made new friends.
Lots of good in amongst the bad!
DS and I are talking regularly - the best...for a teenager.
Set some boundaries which has brought out AH's true colours.
Consolidated some lovely friendships and made new friends.
Lots of good in amongst the bad!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
At the beginning of the year, my dry drunk A mother passed away in a cardiac event. My older sister was with her. Before she died, she spewed a lot of vile at my sister for relocating her to an apartment in another city and out of the house where she could no longer live by herself. She said, "I wish I were dead," and then she died.
We were not close. The wall I put up to protect myself from her toxicity also kept my brother and sister at a distance. The weeks after her death were difficult--my husband went on tour and work was very busy and I wasn't sleeping well.
Then my brother got married in May and suddenly it was as though a black cloud had lifted from overhead my siblings and I. Gone was the weight of worrying about Mom, worrying about what they thought of me and my (lack of) relationship with Mom, worrying about the constant competition about who had it worse with Mom, etc., etc. I liked hanging out with them. I felt seen by them. I felt like an adult, and not the dorky, sheltered kid sister who moved far away so she wouldn't have to be responsible for Mom's alcoholism and the consequences thereof. We enjoyed that weekend so much we got together again in August. We had another fine time.
Take all that as you will, and judge it if you must. I'm just reporting the facts. 2019 started off pretty poorly, but I'm more settled with myself than I've ever been. I got back into theatre in the summer, ran in a hit show all through fall, and fell in love with performing again after a two-year break. I've got projects on the horizon that don't make me feel exhausted before I even start them. And the money from my mom's estate and insurance is helping to make a couple of small-scale dreams come true.
I am wishing the blessings of the new year to all here, and hoping that it brings us what we need and not what we think we want.
xo, SK
We were not close. The wall I put up to protect myself from her toxicity also kept my brother and sister at a distance. The weeks after her death were difficult--my husband went on tour and work was very busy and I wasn't sleeping well.
Then my brother got married in May and suddenly it was as though a black cloud had lifted from overhead my siblings and I. Gone was the weight of worrying about Mom, worrying about what they thought of me and my (lack of) relationship with Mom, worrying about the constant competition about who had it worse with Mom, etc., etc. I liked hanging out with them. I felt seen by them. I felt like an adult, and not the dorky, sheltered kid sister who moved far away so she wouldn't have to be responsible for Mom's alcoholism and the consequences thereof. We enjoyed that weekend so much we got together again in August. We had another fine time.
Take all that as you will, and judge it if you must. I'm just reporting the facts. 2019 started off pretty poorly, but I'm more settled with myself than I've ever been. I got back into theatre in the summer, ran in a hit show all through fall, and fell in love with performing again after a two-year break. I've got projects on the horizon that don't make me feel exhausted before I even start them. And the money from my mom's estate and insurance is helping to make a couple of small-scale dreams come true.
I am wishing the blessings of the new year to all here, and hoping that it brings us what we need and not what we think we want.
xo, SK
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Hey Honeypig....I haven't been on in 6 months..... wow. So glad to see all the "old timers" still helping out the newbies!! Five years ago you all saved my life!!
I am currently living in the 4th home since a year ago, 3 different states. Moved to Cali to get away from the mid west winters, mother got sick 6 months later and moved to take care of her. Realized after she got better I could not live with her so moved again. Its been a crazy year.
I have been divorced over 5 years now, and of course AXH is still drinking, but I am no longer there to witness it. I told him a year and a half ago to have a good life and blocked him completely. I look back at the 34 years together and can't figure out how I survived. I am grateful everyday that I got the strength (thanks to alanon, open aa meetings and soberrecovery) to divorce and move on in life.
I am grateful for so many things in my life. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for all the frank conversations I had on this site telling me that I deserved better. I hope everyone on this site understands that there is always hope, for each and everyone of us!! (speaking from experience)
Happy New Year, I hope it brings the men and women on this forum the peace and serenity they all deserve. Hugs, Honeypig!!
I am currently living in the 4th home since a year ago, 3 different states. Moved to Cali to get away from the mid west winters, mother got sick 6 months later and moved to take care of her. Realized after she got better I could not live with her so moved again. Its been a crazy year.
I have been divorced over 5 years now, and of course AXH is still drinking, but I am no longer there to witness it. I told him a year and a half ago to have a good life and blocked him completely. I look back at the 34 years together and can't figure out how I survived. I am grateful everyday that I got the strength (thanks to alanon, open aa meetings and soberrecovery) to divorce and move on in life.
I am grateful for so many things in my life. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for all the frank conversations I had on this site telling me that I deserved better. I hope everyone on this site understands that there is always hope, for each and everyone of us!! (speaking from experience)
Happy New Year, I hope it brings the men and women on this forum the peace and serenity they all deserve. Hugs, Honeypig!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 34
Great to hear some hopeful stories.
It’s been a roller coaster year with too many lows, but I’m hopeful for some highs next year. AXGF went to rehab and changed drastically as a person. I hope it’s for the better. She was a loving and caring person who helped me through my many years long divorce. One day she may find her way to being that kind of person again.
I’ve poured my time and focus on raising my son and getting my house put together how I like it. I’m looking to plan a good vacation in the coming year. It’s been a long time since I could do that for myself. Working on my meditation so I can better keep the negativity away or deal with it when I can’t. Here’s to 2020!
It’s been a roller coaster year with too many lows, but I’m hopeful for some highs next year. AXGF went to rehab and changed drastically as a person. I hope it’s for the better. She was a loving and caring person who helped me through my many years long divorce. One day she may find her way to being that kind of person again.
I’ve poured my time and focus on raising my son and getting my house put together how I like it. I’m looking to plan a good vacation in the coming year. It’s been a long time since I could do that for myself. Working on my meditation so I can better keep the negativity away or deal with it when I can’t. Here’s to 2020!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 134
The absolute BEST part of my 2019 was my first granddaughter blessing our lives. What an absolute joy this child has been 💕
Im planning on good things happening in 2020, I don’t know what they are yet, but I feel I’m on the right path to find out. Hoping you all the best in the year to come!
Happy New Year Everyone.
Im planning on good things happening in 2020, I don’t know what they are yet, but I feel I’m on the right path to find out. Hoping you all the best in the year to come!
Happy New Year Everyone. Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,968
Happy New Year everyone. I'm spending a lovely evening home alone with knitting and netflix.
2019 was a pretty big year.
My mom whose Alzheimers weirdly improved our relationship and caused her to love bagpipes, passed away in January.
I hit the one year mark of not drinking. This hasn't really changed my life much but I'm pretty dang sure it changes my future as I was sliding slowly towards alcoholism. I'm deeply grateful to all who posted their stories on SR of where I could go given more years.
2020 will probably see my dad go into assisted living. This will free me up which might sound good but . . . hmmm . . .yeah . . .codependency . . . .I'm not too good at figuring out what to do with myself separate from relationships.
Ah well on to the next challenge/adventure.
2019 was a pretty big year.
My mom whose Alzheimers weirdly improved our relationship and caused her to love bagpipes, passed away in January.
I hit the one year mark of not drinking. This hasn't really changed my life much but I'm pretty dang sure it changes my future as I was sliding slowly towards alcoholism. I'm deeply grateful to all who posted their stories on SR of where I could go given more years.
2020 will probably see my dad go into assisted living. This will free me up which might sound good but . . . hmmm . . .yeah . . .codependency . . . .I'm not too good at figuring out what to do with myself separate from relationships.
Ah well on to the next challenge/adventure.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Happy New Year to everyone at SR, especially F&F. My main achievement this year was to retire. I've been saving up for years so I could get to this point. Feels strange, but I love not thinking about work on Sunday evenings.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
Ive been reading everyone's stories filled with
lots of positive experiences, strengths and hopes
which allowed me to reflect back on my own
past yr. and begin looking towards the new year
ahead of us.
I love the percolator story too as it reminds me
of the way coffee was made each morning when
I was a child growing up. Seems that was the only
way to make coffee back in the day. So different
from todays new coffee with all the bells and whistles
attached to them.
I bet they make one now that can be turned on
with an app.. or program from your phone, right?
Those little old timey coffee makers are still
alive and working well without change. Vintage
which I love.
Anyway.....
When I remarried yrs ago and moved in with
my now husband, I also acquired the gift of an
inground pool. Once I retired a few yrs ago, I
embraced the pool and use it to my own advantage
for exercise and relaxation.
Another small step into change was reaching
out to my sister, one of 3 siblings I have been
distant with, asking if we could open the door
of communication between us. Of course she
said in reply.
Seems so strange to ask family for help since
I was the one who has felt shunned and me not
wanting to be part of our family dysfunction as
a means and way of not interfering with my own
sobriety and recovery.
My father whom I admired all my life passed
away last yr. too, but once again, I severed our
relationship many yrs ago because my sick mom
told me to stay away from him for he was hers.
Anyway.....as I often watch the Andy Griffith Show,
my dad was just like him, seeing similar characteristic,
looks and mannerisms. My dad often preached as
my other sibling saw it, but not me, it was advice
that I listened to that I knew would never steer
me wrong.
One advice I recall was stay close to family because
in time of need, there wont be anyone else I will be
able to trust, which is why I felt a tug at my heart to
reach out to my sister.
I dont know what the future holds for me, but as
long as I continue to live by the program of recovery
taught to me some 29 yrs ago to help me remain sober
and the priceless advice my father spoke to me often
about and instilled in me and faith in my Higher Power,
then many wonderful gifts in life still await me down the
road I travel on each day.
Happy New Year to our SR family who continue
to inspire each of us on a daily bases.
lots of positive experiences, strengths and hopes
which allowed me to reflect back on my own
past yr. and begin looking towards the new year
ahead of us.
I love the percolator story too as it reminds me
of the way coffee was made each morning when
I was a child growing up. Seems that was the only
way to make coffee back in the day. So different
from todays new coffee with all the bells and whistles
attached to them.
I bet they make one now that can be turned on
with an app.. or program from your phone, right?
Those little old timey coffee makers are still
alive and working well without change. Vintage
which I love.
Anyway.....
When I remarried yrs ago and moved in with
my now husband, I also acquired the gift of an
inground pool. Once I retired a few yrs ago, I
embraced the pool and use it to my own advantage
for exercise and relaxation.
Another small step into change was reaching
out to my sister, one of 3 siblings I have been
distant with, asking if we could open the door
of communication between us. Of course she
said in reply.
Seems so strange to ask family for help since
I was the one who has felt shunned and me not
wanting to be part of our family dysfunction as
a means and way of not interfering with my own
sobriety and recovery.
My father whom I admired all my life passed
away last yr. too, but once again, I severed our
relationship many yrs ago because my sick mom
told me to stay away from him for he was hers.
Anyway.....as I often watch the Andy Griffith Show,
my dad was just like him, seeing similar characteristic,
looks and mannerisms. My dad often preached as
my other sibling saw it, but not me, it was advice
that I listened to that I knew would never steer
me wrong.
One advice I recall was stay close to family because
in time of need, there wont be anyone else I will be
able to trust, which is why I felt a tug at my heart to
reach out to my sister.
I dont know what the future holds for me, but as
long as I continue to live by the program of recovery
taught to me some 29 yrs ago to help me remain sober
and the priceless advice my father spoke to me often
about and instilled in me and faith in my Higher Power,
then many wonderful gifts in life still await me down the
road I travel on each day.
Happy New Year to our SR family who continue
to inspire each of us on a daily bases.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 500
Love this post! 2019 started with getting ready for trial, lost 30lbs because of nothing but stress. Started off hurt, fragile, and scared. 2020 I am determined, confident, and unapologetic for my feelings and my worth. I have kept off the weight, made so many new friends, learning new things everyday, became part of a lovely community. I even had the healing conversations with my parents, they don't and can't really "see" me, and that's sad for them, but when they offer their "advice" I tell them what's what and thats it. I feel like this truly is the best time of my life and not because its easy but because I am becoming who I was always meant to be.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
Thank you Honeypig for starting this thread.
A friend of mine died in 2019 - she was a writer and one of the gifts she left behind was a lesson - to find a moment of beauty and art each and every day, no matter how mundane or painful. I will be grateful for that lesson forever.
I promised myself that I would work through several knitting projects in order to go through my yarn stash - I ended up adding to it instead!
Despite my posts here, believe it or not my relationship with my sister has vastly improved - the letting go of expectations and frankly the distance really helped a lot. And honestly, it was tiring to hold onto that anger. However, I don't know how long this detente will last - talk to me in a month or two.
My ability to shake off the judgment of other people has increased - I sure could have used it in my earlier days but I will take what I can get. I've also started performing more in public - however I don't think I will ever get used to watching myself on video. I completely understood why Adam Driver walked out of that interview, and he is nowhere near my level of dorkiness.
A friend of mine died in 2019 - she was a writer and one of the gifts she left behind was a lesson - to find a moment of beauty and art each and every day, no matter how mundane or painful. I will be grateful for that lesson forever.
I promised myself that I would work through several knitting projects in order to go through my yarn stash - I ended up adding to it instead!
Despite my posts here, believe it or not my relationship with my sister has vastly improved - the letting go of expectations and frankly the distance really helped a lot. And honestly, it was tiring to hold onto that anger. However, I don't know how long this detente will last - talk to me in a month or two.
My ability to shake off the judgment of other people has increased - I sure could have used it in my earlier days but I will take what I can get. I've also started performing more in public - however I don't think I will ever get used to watching myself on video. I completely understood why Adam Driver walked out of that interview, and he is nowhere near my level of dorkiness.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Thanks for this lovely idea HP.
2019 was a year of harvest and blessing for me.
2019 was the year that I shifted out of survival mode, learned to trust my hard work, and I got a chance to bloom. Survive--arrive--thrive. I am so grateful for that because though I was hopeful for it and intellectually knew it was possible I got to fully experience thriving in my body this year. Now even in moments of hardship and doubt I have that to return to.
I mean this sincerely and with only poking a little bit of fun at myself but when part of your therapy is about having your first crush since your divorce is what you need to talk about, it feels like the silver lining has arrived.
I am so grateful to this board as part of my healing. I am so grateful to be "with" other people willing to step into the short term discomfort for long-term change. I am so grateful I took that chance.
I am hopeful that 2020 brings more of the same, for us all.
2019 was a year of harvest and blessing for me.
2019 was the year that I shifted out of survival mode, learned to trust my hard work, and I got a chance to bloom. Survive--arrive--thrive. I am so grateful for that because though I was hopeful for it and intellectually knew it was possible I got to fully experience thriving in my body this year. Now even in moments of hardship and doubt I have that to return to.
I mean this sincerely and with only poking a little bit of fun at myself but when part of your therapy is about having your first crush since your divorce is what you need to talk about, it feels like the silver lining has arrived.
I am so grateful to this board as part of my healing. I am so grateful to be "with" other people willing to step into the short term discomfort for long-term change. I am so grateful I took that chance.
I am hopeful that 2020 brings more of the same, for us all.
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