Feeling very sad tonight...do you ever worry about your XA?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Abandoned80 
He broke up with me, but I suspect it’s because he wasn’t in a good place. I still love him very much and know that the holidays always seemed particularly hard for him, though I always did my best to keep them cheery. My pride is keeping me from reaching out, but how do I stop worrying about him and how he’s doing? Every once in a while I’ll just stop and start crying because I worry. I know this is stupid, but it’s hard to just sever ties (like he did). It’s been a very melancholy season for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 15
This is my first ever post to these forums. Abandoned, your post really hit home and I'm feeling all the same things you are right now. I broke up with my girlfriend exactly a month ago due to her alcoholism. Even though I was the one who ended it, I miss her like crazy and want to message her even if it's just to wish her a Merry Christmas, but I know I shouldn't. Is she happy and with loved ones today? Or is she in a dark place getting drunk somewhere? I wish I could offer some helpful advice on what to do. I just wanted to say that I understand what you're going through, and that the two of us will get through this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 15
I totally understand
This is my first ever post to these forums. Abandoned, your post really hit home and I'm feeling all the same things you are right now. I broke up with my girlfriend exactly a month ago due to her alcoholism. Even though I was the one who ended it, I miss her like crazy and want to message her even if it's just to wish her a Merry Christmas, but I know I shouldn't. Is she happy and with loved ones today? Or is she in a dark place getting drunk somewhere? I wish I could offer some helpful advice on what to do. I just wanted to say that I understand what you're going through, and that the two of us will get through this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 93
Z71 - wow we are really in the same (bad) boat! It’s so painful right now, but I know it will get better for us with time and moving forward. Whether or not it’s a good idea to message them I can’t say - I would love to be on those sort of terms with my ex, but for me it’s still too fresh and the fact that he broke up with me and hasn’t reached out at all, makes me feel like it won’t be welcome. All I can do is hope that he’s well and safe today, and try to keep my mind off of things. I hope you are able to take your mind off of it today as well, and enjoy the day as best you can. I know how very hard it is.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,629
Hi Z71Ross, glad you found the forum.
Yes, as Abandoned mentioned, you will get through it but it will take time, perhaps even months to move forward.
It's hurts! It's terrible to be cut off from someone we care about, regardless of the circumstances but with alcoholism it's sometimes the only choice.
With it all being so fresh, your breakup, you might find that contacting her in any way would in fact hurt you and put you right back where you started. It might make you feel better for a few minutes, but after that then what?
So I hope you will decide to look after yourself and focus on doing something nice for yourself today.
Yes, as Abandoned mentioned, you will get through it but it will take time, perhaps even months to move forward.
It's hurts! It's terrible to be cut off from someone we care about, regardless of the circumstances but with alcoholism it's sometimes the only choice.
With it all being so fresh, your breakup, you might find that contacting her in any way would in fact hurt you and put you right back where you started. It might make you feel better for a few minutes, but after that then what?
So I hope you will decide to look after yourself and focus on doing something nice for yourself today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Abandoned80
He broke up with me, but I suspect it’s because he wasn’t in a good place. I still love him very much and know that the holidays always seemed particularly hard for him, though I always did my best to keep them cheery. My pride is keeping me from reaching out, but how do I stop worrying about him and how he’s doing? Every once in a while I’ll just stop and start crying because I worry. I know this is stupid, but it’s hard to just sever ties (like he did). It’s been a very melancholy season for me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
