1st “normal” date...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
1st “normal” date...
So I thought I’d share... as I was chuckling a bit today while reflecting on my first date last night.
Yep, my first date since my breakup last May.
We met on an online dating site and hit it off, met last night at a little bar. I had a small bouquet of flowers. She arrived on time and we really had a great time talking for over 3 hours.
A few things I was not expecting or used to (but had hoped for!)... she was “normal”... so far. (I say “normal” simply in a light hearted, humorous way. Not to offend anyone) To my shock... not a single red flag! I’m certainly used to hundreds... lol
We both sipped on 1 glass of wine for the entire time!? Ha! (Not 5 like shots!) During our conversation she said “boundaries are good!” (I nearly bear hugged her!! Well, in my mind. I just smiled and nodded my head). And upon leaving, we didn’t kiss or go home together... I just told her how much I had loved our evening and hugged her. We both said goodnight.
She sent me a cute text thanking me for the flowers and the date.
It was simple and fun. No drunken drama. No worry or pressure. No mind reading or walking on egg shells. No embarrassing moments.
I guess I just wanted to share this with you guys. I never expected I could heal (still healing) and actually open my heart enough again to try dating.
It was nice. I hope I see her again.
Yep, my first date since my breakup last May.
We met on an online dating site and hit it off, met last night at a little bar. I had a small bouquet of flowers. She arrived on time and we really had a great time talking for over 3 hours.
A few things I was not expecting or used to (but had hoped for!)... she was “normal”... so far. (I say “normal” simply in a light hearted, humorous way. Not to offend anyone) To my shock... not a single red flag! I’m certainly used to hundreds... lol
We both sipped on 1 glass of wine for the entire time!? Ha! (Not 5 like shots!) During our conversation she said “boundaries are good!” (I nearly bear hugged her!! Well, in my mind. I just smiled and nodded my head). And upon leaving, we didn’t kiss or go home together... I just told her how much I had loved our evening and hugged her. We both said goodnight.
She sent me a cute text thanking me for the flowers and the date.
It was simple and fun. No drunken drama. No worry or pressure. No mind reading or walking on egg shells. No embarrassing moments.
I guess I just wanted to share this with you guys. I never expected I could heal (still healing) and actually open my heart enough again to try dating.
It was nice. I hope I see her again.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
LifeChange...I know exactly what you mean. after dealing with what is dysfunctional, being around "normal" is so refreshing....such a welcome change!I am so happy to hear that you are returning "to the land of the living" again....lol....
You deserve to have fun and enjoy this aspect of life.
For you, I wish that this new "normal" becomes your forever normal!!
You deserve to have fun and enjoy this aspect of life.
For you, I wish that this new "normal" becomes your forever normal!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,982
So good to hear Lifechange. Who knows what the future holds except if we choose not to be around alcoholics then we won't be! This we can make happen.
I hope you are physically doing okay. I know you had surgery a few months ago.
I hope you are physically doing okay. I know you had surgery a few months ago.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
I had a brush with someone interesting at church. I couldn't quit thinking about her, was having dreams that I kissed her, etc......
She handed me red flags before we even went out for coffee......
At least I can see the red flags now.
She handed me red flags before we even went out for coffee......
At least I can see the red flags now.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 216
I am truly happy you went on a date and that things are going so well! Keep it up!
I can only hope for a time i am ready to date again (if ever lol). I even had an urge the other day to set up the account on some dating app, but then I literally had an anxiety attack to the bare thought of it even, and realised I am totally not there yet nor ready for anything like that!
Anyway, hope it all goes well for you🙂 And keep us updated- if that resonates, of course. 👋👋
I can only hope for a time i am ready to date again (if ever lol). I even had an urge the other day to set up the account on some dating app, but then I literally had an anxiety attack to the bare thought of it even, and realised I am totally not there yet nor ready for anything like that!
Anyway, hope it all goes well for you🙂 And keep us updated- if that resonates, of course. 👋👋
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
Thanks for all the positive encouragement!
Funny enough... I didn’t hear from her for a few days... & started to get restless/unsure. No surprise as I’m used to relentless texting & calls... so I’m definitely learning healthy behaviors and boundaries. I honestly have never had them.
She messaged me tonight with a simple... hope your week is going well so far. Ha! I’m not used to such “normal” messages!!? Lol
Well we have our 2nd date (woohoo!) in 2 weeks because she’s busy with work next wk.
It feels different, but nice. And although I didn’t know if I was fully ready to date... the healthy behaviors she’s displaying has in fact, already impacted my life. There’s no pressure... and the independence and trust we’re slowly building is such a beautiful thing.
Funny enough... I didn’t hear from her for a few days... & started to get restless/unsure. No surprise as I’m used to relentless texting & calls... so I’m definitely learning healthy behaviors and boundaries. I honestly have never had them.
She messaged me tonight with a simple... hope your week is going well so far. Ha! I’m not used to such “normal” messages!!? Lol
Well we have our 2nd date (woohoo!) in 2 weeks because she’s busy with work next wk.
It feels different, but nice. And although I didn’t know if I was fully ready to date... the healthy behaviors she’s displaying has in fact, already impacted my life. There’s no pressure... and the independence and trust we’re slowly building is such a beautiful thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
Ha! Wombaticus... speaking of crazy buses!!! Um, you had me recalling the time I went to visit my ex and she picked me up (pretty drunk) in a small bus! Hmmm, crazy ironic right!? Yes, a real bus. Long story but I was so angry!
Anyway, don’t miss those days! Ugh!!!!!
Haven’t planned our next date... but that feels really good! I used to plan every single detail in advance. I’m loving the low key freedom of how all this feels!
Anyway, don’t miss those days! Ugh!!!!!
Haven’t planned our next date... but that feels really good! I used to plan every single detail in advance. I’m loving the low key freedom of how all this feels!
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