Really disturbing dreams..
 

Anybody else get these? Often dream of EXAH. In last night's episode he was with his enabler. They were walking through my door (going out), but he had his hand on the back of her neck.. Leading her through the door. She turned back to me and smiled.. Completely oblivious that she was being man handled. Its weird... My subconscious NEVER shows me dreams of those two living happily ever after. I've had another dream when I grabbed her hand and made her run.

I guess I must see a lot of my old self in her. My EXAH ended up drunk putting his hand to my throat.. As well as an assault. I wish she'd break free too.

I'm blessed!?!? with very vivid dreams too. Do you ever write them down?
Was there a sense of helplessness? You cant save her, but perhaps you are hovering in the background just in case? Have you ever thought of being a mentor-/ key contact for someone on their recovery journey as the deal with the A in their life?

I can have very vivid dreams as well, luckily not nightmares although some can be mildly disturbing. Occasionally I can take something useful out of a dream which gives me insight into my subconscious.

I, occasionally, have some bizarre dreams....some are just really Krazy….but, I don't swell on them, very long, and don't try to attach very much meaning to them...
I just consider them random electrical 'firings" of the brain, while sleeping.....

Yes, after my EXAH took his life. I had been contacted prior IRL that he may be unstable and seek me out. His friend was concerned for my safety. In the dream he found me and committed a mass shooting. It was terrifying. It felt so real.
I've had other dreams lately that my teeth have all shattered like glass in my mouth. Years ago after I left EXAH I started grinding my teeth in my sleep and several of them chipped.
For me high stress=bad dreams

hi milano

i wonder if that woman you see in your dream is you. What would the dream say to you then?

It is extremely common for people suffering with anxiety to dream about their teeth breaking off or falling out. I had dreams of spitting out mouth-fulls-worth of teeth during my darkest days. Because it was happening so often I researched it a bit and found out that it's a bizarre thing stressed and anxious people dream about.

I had one of these last night in fact, it has been popping back in to my head this morning. I wouldn't say it was really disturbing, more annoying to me. My conclusion is my thoughts about it were - ridiculous, so maybe that's the good part, I'll let it go.

I know why I have them, I know that it's my mind trying to work through it. I don't hold much stock in it since I already know why, but yes, it's rather annoying!

I was abused in a previous relationship, and I had similiar dreams. I had one where I was being sexually abused.. but that didn't happen in real life. I also had one where I peed on his grave but that hasn't happened yet either. Well, yet.

It's really confusing when a person who we consider evil seems to have a successful love life. I mean seriously? How does this person do it? Or deserve it? That I don't have answers for.

My therapist told me that I was working out my anger in my dreams, and he suggested I take control in the dream, turn the situation around if possible and see if that helped, because I was waking up in terror..

I didn't manage to do that, but what I did was when I woke up feeling that panicky feeling I made myself close my eyes and visualize something extremely soothing. For me, it was the snow falling outside, me warm and safe inside the house beside a crackling fire, and my kids sleeping soundly in their beds wearing matching pj's.

But to corroborate what you are dreaming, yes, your subconscious is trying to tell you something. You know what it is. The question is, is it valid, and does it pertain to your life and how it looks now.

E

RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!

Oh hang on.. I did.

EXAH may be in a relationship but its no way successful. She's probably been love bombed.. The abuse will slowly start. If it hasn't already. I've had a couple of other dreams about his enabler and it's always started with me being furious with him (her testimonials got him overnight access).. But then I've grabbed her hand and run... Or warned her to go.. Or just talked to her. He's an active alcoholic with a history of problem drinking, arrests etc.

I have vivid dreams every night. Been that way for many years. Rarely a nightmare type dream.

I still dream of her but not very often anymore. Dreams of her are always very warm & peaceful.

One such dream her & I were sitting on a sofa talking. I noticed she was holding a baby & smiling. I asked her whose baby is this? She responded smiling & said its yours silly. She was very peaceful & happy in that dream.

I wish I cold contribute to this, but I never remember my dreams. I sleep well and wake up refreshed Just no dreams. In the past 3 months I have had only one dream I can recall. And that is for some reason is my wife colored her hair silver and purple and asked me how it looked. I told her that when I woke up and she said I don't think so.

Other then that, I maybe have half a dozen dreams, I'll remember in a whole year. Most of them are strange and with people I don't even know.

I have very vivid dreams about XAH, sometimes in the dream we are still together and happy, sometimes it's scary and sad. In real life, he's a very sad person whose life has been inarguably altered by addiction to the point of homelessness and extreme physical and emotional dysfunction. Sometimes these dreams really disturb me, make me upset, make me sad and wistful for the good times. I loved him so much, was so attracted to him in the early days, and frequently my brain pulls those memories for a revisit. It's outrageous how vivid those feelings can still be, and my visceral reaction to him.

A therapist put some of those dream-related feelings into perspective for me by pointing out that a dream is inherently 100% you - your feelings, your thoughts, your memories, your anxieties - because it happens completely inside your own head. An interesting lens to view it through. But also, your brain, as part of the work of healing, is also working itself over while you sleep and pulls "old files" to make narrative sense of the work it's doing while you sleep, hence these old memory dreams. So while I keep having these dreams, and sometimes I'm bugged by them, this perspective is helpful to put it into context. My brain is working over other unrelated, daily anxieties - did I answer that email, am I a good mother, what is the meaning of life - by "explaining" them with memories known to be anxious for me, my ex. That's all.

After I left my XAH, but was considering going back, I had a terrible nightmare. I was standing outside the house we lived in when we first married, with my face against the side of the house. XAH was behind me with a gun aimed at my head. My older son was running toward us to stop him. My dream ended when XAH turned and aimed at my son.

I'm no psychiatrist, but I felt the nightmare symbolized the potential destruction of my family, most frighteningly, my sons. That dream--along with many other things--convinced me to stay the course and file for divorce.

Dreams, even bad ones, can be enlightening!

And would you know it, had another dream last night. This time we were back together and he was telling me something.. Bit too private to share here. But he was doing his classic shifting blame thing. Then we were suddenly having beer and I hated the taste of it, didn't want to be there with him at all. My subconscious is pretty adamant he's the same old drunk!!!!

Dreams may be due to being intuitive... Or cheese
 

They analyze their dreams. If you accept the science that demonstrates the power of intuition, it’s not much of a leap to accept that our dreams are often manifestations of intuition. Sure, sometimes dreams are nonsense, but they often try to tell us something. Intuitive people don’t just think, “Wow, that was a weird dream!”; they ask themselves, “Where did that come from, and what can I take away from it?”

When I am having to deal too much with my XAH and it's in a stressful way, I have dreams about him. Sometimes I just have random dreams about him as well. We were together for 20 years so I guess that is all still filed in my head.

I dream vividly, I always have, but more so now that I take Lexapro. This is a known side effect and makes for some really loopy sleepytime adventures. If you are taking any kind of medication with a somnolence side effect, it may be wise to switch the time of day you take it.
Last night, I was in the woods, following a path made of crocheted flowers and leaves. They led me to my AH's old neighborhood where he lived when we first started dating. There was this hill that had cactus on it (remember I am a gardener) and they had beautiful ripe cactus apples that I was going to pick for jelly making. All of a sudden, the cactus started throwing them at me and he was just standing there laughing this maniacal laugh. His family came out of the house and started pointing at me and laughing too ....I attribute this dream to watching Wizard of Oz yesterday with my youngest and those damn spicy pork chops I made for dinner!
Also....the "cheese" comment is golden!!! When in doubt, blame the cheese!

I have a dream journal (now locked by password ONLINE ONLY) where I keep all of these things recorded and talk them over with my therapist. I think my dissociation makes me think of things when I am sleeping and it helps her to know where my mind is in therapy for the week.