New relationship abusive
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
You've already started reframing the breakup when you said this
I'm kind of curious, have you tried reframing the breakup this way?
"He broke up with me because he's a jerk."
"He broke up with me once he realized that I wouldn't put up with his nonsense."
[which I actually suspect is true].
"He broke up with me because he sensed I was ready to break up with him- because he is a jerk."
All of these reasons are perfectly normal everyday reasons for a breakup.
Here's a confession - sometimes, when I'm down - I like to watch scenes of Julia Roberts losing her @#$. "Erin Brockovich" and "The Normal Heart" are good ones. I love those scenes because she is pure blazing righteous anger. You might want to give it a go.
I'm also curious - how many women friends do you have who are happily UNattached to partners? Some of my friends are very single and very happy; they frankly can't be bothered with dating anybody at this point in their lives. If they meet someone, that's great. If not, well their lives are rich enough anyway.
feel less gutted if I can believe we broke up for normal everyday reasons.
"He broke up with me because he's a jerk."
"He broke up with me once he realized that I wouldn't put up with his nonsense."
[which I actually suspect is true].
"He broke up with me because he sensed I was ready to break up with him- because he is a jerk."
All of these reasons are perfectly normal everyday reasons for a breakup.
Here's a confession - sometimes, when I'm down - I like to watch scenes of Julia Roberts losing her @#$. "Erin Brockovich" and "The Normal Heart" are good ones. I love those scenes because she is pure blazing righteous anger. You might want to give it a go.
I'm also curious - how many women friends do you have who are happily UNattached to partners? Some of my friends are very single and very happy; they frankly can't be bothered with dating anybody at this point in their lives. If they meet someone, that's great. If not, well their lives are rich enough anyway.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,631
Originally Posted by PuzzledHeart 
Here's a confession - sometimes, when I'm down - I like to watch scenes of Julia Roberts losing her @#$. "Erin Brockovich" and "The Normal Heart" are good ones. I love those scenes because she is pure blazing righteous anger. You might want to give it a go..
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Hi Smarie,
How are you doing today?
One day at a time. You are important.
https://youtu.be/sGPbNE1wWOA
The first part of this podcast has a strong tie to what I'm relating to with what I've heard of your story. Food for thought. ((((hugs))))
Be kind to you.
Mango
How are you doing today?
One day at a time. You are important.
https://youtu.be/sGPbNE1wWOA
The first part of this podcast has a strong tie to what I'm relating to with what I've heard of your story. Food for thought. ((((hugs))))
Be kind to you.
Mango
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by Smarie78
In truth? Mostly happy. I have more than anyone could ever wish to have in life, yet some days the emptiness catches up and holds hostage with the only relief the affections of a man and his adoration.
When it leaves I feel empty.
When it leaves I feel empty.
Is it possible to just ride out the feelings of emptiness, knowing that they are transient and will pass? I think the belief that “having a boyfriend is the only way I can be happy” is a cognitive distortion.
Who are your models for how to be a happy, creative, SINGLE woman, in real life or in fiction/movies/famous people, etc?
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