How and when to tell the kids about alcoholism..
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Join Date: May 2018
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Originally Posted by Cyranoak 
same age as my daughter when my wife started drinking. they see more than we suspect, they know more than we suspect, and they remember everything. the difference is that they are true victims with no power. at least the drinker is at fault for drinking, and the enabler at fault for enabling. i'll never, no matter what, be able to make it up to my daughter that i did not protect her better from her mother.
Ye, the drinking is one area we need to explain to the kids. Hopefully the kids are no longer seeing 'drunk dad' when he has access. However, it's the alcoholic mind, the inconsistent behaviour. The drinking thinking when sober that I'm trying to protect kids from. And the fact that he won't be the same man a year from now because of this progressive disease. They need to understand that its not their fault and as parents we need to give the kids a secure, consistent model of an adult.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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I struggle with this as well. My kids are only around XAH when he is sober because of alcohol monitoring. So to them he either doesn’t show up or is totally sober. They don’t see what I deal with behind the scenes. They blame me for having so little time with their dad and when I explain that it is for their safety and to make sure that dad can take care of them they think I’m crazy. I don’t want them to go their whole lives thinking I’m the issue. I would normally think “oh well they will get it someday” but I’ve seen first hand accounts of adults that still don’t see it.
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