Mom's Drinking Has Destroyed My Relationship
 

Hi everyone

You were all so helpful when I used to come on here with my ex and his drinking problem. I eventually walked away from him with our two kids and made a life for myself.

Now my moms drinking has been getting out of hand. When she is drunk, she chooses to pick on my boyfriend and I, saying.hurtful things about how we can't take care of my kids and all sorts of nonsense. Out of us three girls, my boyfriend and I are the most stable, but she chooses to focus on us with her poison. My boyfriend said her drinking is not a reflection of me by any means and he can live with it because I'm his person.

So last night my mom decided to down a bottle of wine and send my boyfriend Facebook messages that were totally uncalled for such as: "I know you are inappropriate with skarlet's kids" amongst other horrible stuff.

Now my boyfriend has had enough and wants to break up with me. He says he's worried about legal ramifications of her accusations.

My whole world is falling apart.

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Skarletstarlet,

I'm sorry you are having to go through this again. I know it had to be hard the first time with your EX. But know to go through with it with you mom. While I know you love your mom. We all love our own mom. You have to do what is best for your life. What makes you happy. What brings joy to your heart. Your mom talking bad things about your boyfriend is not. Your mom needs help and until she gets help will lash out. This is the alcohol talking to you. It see's you and your boyfriend as stable and possible you moving out of her life. So it tries to be mean to him to make him break up. Cause if she is mean to you, it might just drive you closer to him and not her.

I hope you can convince your mom that she needs help. I would tell her that you love her, but i need to step away for a while why you get help. This talking mean to me and everybody in my life is bad for my mentality. I need to look after myself and my kids. I know that would be a hard thing to say. I know it would be for me to say to my mom. but your mom has no right to treat you like this.

Just be strong and keep posting and reading here. we are here to help.

Thanks for posting. I'm glad you're here.

That's a valid fear your boyfriend has. My own mother isn't alcoholic, yet her terrible lies have caused legal issues for me to deal with.

Deleting your social media account is an option. Not to run from her -- simply to create space for you to live your life without her interference.

Have you been to Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery or ACA group meetings?

I'm sorry that happened, I can actually understand his reaction. That is a pretty strong accusation on her part and he is right that there could be legal ramifications for him. Also for you, of course. If she decides to spread this venom around CPS could get involved.

Regardless of what he does, your number one priority is the protection of your children.

Personally? I would seek out a lawyer. If you can't afford one you could contact a low cost legal aid group for assistance perhaps. I would ask them what can be done, perhaps even a temporary restraining order but I would get their recommendation.

She is playing with fire here with total disregard for you and your children and your boyfriend.

I am sorry about him breaking up with you. Perhaps when things have cooled down a bit you will be able to talk this through? Also, you need to protect him and getting legal advice shows your commitment to do this.

It may not be enough for him but is still the right thing to do perhaps.