So basically I have to give him all my money and buy him out of the house. He must do soberlink for six months, and if it comes up “hot,” I get my kiddo and the six month thing is extended. I get to modify custody if it becomes an issue.

Child will I’ll be going to therapy so that he can deal with the issues that surely come up because his fathers an alcoholic.

i was given a new cc statement of his. It showed daily charges from area liquor stores up until last week. I was SO ANGRY when I saw it and it’s so sad now. He’s still not admitting to his drinking. But he will have
to be sober when he has the kid over night. We were *this* close to having to get a child family investigator and the courts involved. It might happen in the future so I’m not ruling it out entirely.

It’s a little complicated but I had 20k from backpay that I was holding in a savings account. Technically, since I acquired it during our marriage, half was his. During mediation I offered to give it to him in toto if he moved out before I got the refinance money from the house. I kept 5 for the taxes I will have to pay and transferred the rest to him. He agreed to all of my terms. So really, he just got an extra 5k. Along with the house money he will get, he’s out and we can move on to coparenting.

Im not sure how he’s going to navigate not drinking now, and I hope he seeks recovery but I have no control over that.

My kiddo is safe, I get to stay in my house, I can afford it and right now I feel a hell of a lot better about all things.

Thursdays
i am in no position to offer great advice or wisdom. I will say I totally understand the peace that comes with getting you and your child/children to stay in the house you feel safe in. I am able to stay in my house too (for now) and I actually told my daughter the other day how great I feel being able to stay in my safe, comforting home I’ve worked so hard on (and my kids need this normal in their lives). When I thought I may have to leave my home it tore me up. I said no way am I giving in/up on this subject and my AH finally moved out. To me no amount of money is to much to give you that peace of mind😊
Good for you for putting yourself and child first! The Soberlink sounds like a great tool to keep your kiddo safe, I never knew this existed before joining this group.

Such a great feeling. Congratulations.