Question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Question
I hate to keep posting. But last night when my husband told me to leave I said I would. But my mother in law said if I leave and take the kids it would be abandonement. She said I needed to wait until I see my lawyer. But I don’t have an appointment until Tuesday. Is this true??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
In some states, yes. It will be, "He said, she said," if it comes out that he told you to leave. He can just cry, "Abandoned!"
In my state, yes, and it *could* work against you in a divorce.
If you are afraid for your safety or the safety of your children, call your local police and/or domestic violence hotline - there are exceptions, and if you're in danger or feel you may be, your prospective attorney needs to know this ASAP, even if you've never met.
In my state, yes, and it *could* work against you in a divorce.
If you are afraid for your safety or the safety of your children, call your local police and/or domestic violence hotline - there are exceptions, and if you're in danger or feel you may be, your prospective attorney needs to know this ASAP, even if you've never met.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
In some states, yes. It will be, "He said, she said," if it comes out that he told you to leave. He can just cry, "Abandoned!"
In my state, yes, and it *could* work against you in a divorce.
If you are afraid for your safety or the safety of your children, call your local police and/or domestic violence hotline - there are exceptions, and if you're in danger or feel you may be, your prospective attorney needs to know this ASAP, even if you've never met.
In my state, yes, and it *could* work against you in a divorce.
If you are afraid for your safety or the safety of your children, call your local police and/or domestic violence hotline - there are exceptions, and if you're in danger or feel you may be, your prospective attorney needs to know this ASAP, even if you've never met.
i have recorded. He told me to leave
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yes, I saw that...but is recording a person without their consent admissable in court in your state?
It would probably be enough to get him to back off...but if you're not in imminent danger, I would take the time to do it right - divorce is ugly and it plays by rules.
Do you think you can wait until Tuesday or do you feel like you're in danger?
It would probably be enough to get him to back off...but if you're not in imminent danger, I would take the time to do it right - divorce is ugly and it plays by rules.
Do you think you can wait until Tuesday or do you feel like you're in danger?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 94
Seriously consider filling charges against him for hitting you. Your officer can help with that as well as talk about the option of having him thrown out and a restraining order placed against him. The restaurant incident provides you with witnesses to his irrational and violent behavior, too. This way, you're not abandoning and you can still stay in the home.
It doesn't hurt to call the officer, and it's free, and ask if this is an option. This would also buy you time until you meet with the attorney.
Just some thoughts, but I know you will work this out.
It doesn't hurt to call the officer, and it's free, and ask if this is an option. This would also buy you time until you meet with the attorney.
Just some thoughts, but I know you will work this out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Teehee
Seriously consider filling charges against him for hitting you. Your officer can help with that as well as talk about the option of having him thrown out and a restraining order placed against him. The restaurant incident provides you with witnesses to his irrational and violent behavior, too. This way, you're not abandoning and you can still stay in the home.
It doesn't hurt to call the officer, and it's free, and ask if this is an option. This would also buy you time until you meet with the attorney.
Just some thoughts, but I know you will work this out.
It doesn't hurt to call the officer, and it's free, and ask if this is an option. This would also buy you time until you meet with the attorney.
Just some thoughts, but I know you will work this out.
Oh, yeah clowery0508, if he has laid a hand on you, call the police and see what they can do. I'd also call that attorney and tell them that.
And the domestic violence hotline.
Good luck. I'll bow out now. Sorry, I wasn't "up" on the past incidents.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
No you have me messed up with someone else. He has never hit me. Just verbally abusive. I basically recorded him for my sake. Because I knew that I would start feeling bad. And wouldn’t do anything about it
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
Clowery,
Keep posting. Post as much as you want. We are here to help you. He has hit you. You might not have evidence (no marks) but that doesn't change the fact. Call the police and at least file a report. talk to them they should or know someone who will be able to answer all you questions. If you ever feel in danger just take the kids and leave. It's not worth your life to stay. Keep strong and reach out to us if you have an issue.
Keep posting. Post as much as you want. We are here to help you. He has hit you. You might not have evidence (no marks) but that doesn't change the fact. Call the police and at least file a report. talk to them they should or know someone who will be able to answer all you questions. If you ever feel in danger just take the kids and leave. It's not worth your life to stay. Keep strong and reach out to us if you have an issue.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by ironwill
Clowery,
Keep posting. Post as much as you want. We are here to help you. He has hit you. You might not have evidence (no marks) but that doesn't change the fact. Call the police and at least file a report. talk to them they should or know someone who will be able to answer all you questions. If you ever feel in danger just take the kids and leave. It's not worth your life to stay. Keep strong and reach out to us if you have an issue.
Keep posting. Post as much as you want. We are here to help you. He has hit you. You might not have evidence (no marks) but that doesn't change the fact. Call the police and at least file a report. talk to them they should or know someone who will be able to answer all you questions. If you ever feel in danger just take the kids and leave. It's not worth your life to stay. Keep strong and reach out to us if you have an issue.
no no never physical abuse just verbal. They have mistaken me as someone else. just verbal.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I am not sure to be honest. If I chose to leave I would write a note saying I am leaving for a few days to take a rest from it all. I would keep a copy. That way it's not abandonment, just leaving for a few days.
That is just my two cents if you don't have a chance to speak to the attorney right away.
I understand he did not physically abuse you, but verbal abuse sometimes is even worse. I hope you reach out and get support. Keep coming back, you are not alone.
Big hugs!
That is just my two cents if you don't have a chance to speak to the attorney right away.
I understand he did not physically abuse you, but verbal abuse sometimes is even worse. I hope you reach out and get support. Keep coming back, you are not alone.
Big hugs!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
But my mother in law said
that is the last person i would talk to or take advice from at this stage!!
as it is, you aren't loading up the UHaul TODAY and vacating the property permanently....you are taking your children out of a hostile environment and going to gramma's for a few days.
that is the last person i would talk to or take advice from at this stage!!
as it is, you aren't loading up the UHaul TODAY and vacating the property permanently....you are taking your children out of a hostile environment and going to gramma's for a few days.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
Absolutely, as Anvil says. And yes, no matter how close you are, it is perhaps best to leave your MIL out of this right now.
I'm sure there is no law that says you can't visit your own Mother with your children.
I would write a note, we are off to visit Mom and yes, I would take a picture of it wherever you leave it and off you go!
I'm sure there is no law that says you can't visit your own Mother with your children.
I would write a note, we are off to visit Mom and yes, I would take a picture of it wherever you leave it and off you go!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
