Something went wonky and had to submit that before I was finished.

Looking into CCW is a good idea. Scary, but decent thought.

The car is in his name now, it was due for new tags and the DMV told me best way to force it out of my name was to refuse buying tags and he’d have to drive with expired tags. Due to him driving intoxicated everyday, he won’t risk getting pulled over. Since I refused to renew tags, and said you put in your name and get your own tags, he finally did. Thankfully. I gave him several thousand dollars by check for records, with a note that was notarized by my bank and him. He has no reason to stay. He’s gotten what he’s asked for. The deal was he would leave, he hasn’t.

As for large dogs. I also raise and show German Shepherds. My male is away right now and has been gone since earlier this summer, he’s in training for Protection. It’s something I do with my dogs to get them titled for shows and breeding. He comes home in 2 weeks. The thing is, all my dogs know him, and not sure they’d ever attack him. Perhaps if they felt I was in danger, they would.

I’m trying to get my ducks in a row bc I’m not sure how long it takes to get a restraining order established? Don’t you have to go to court and prove why you need one??

I want alarm system in place too. I now know I have a safe place to go whenever I need. My friend has told me ANYTIME. My family would too, I just don’t want to bother them. The hard part is leaving here with everything to do, and taking care of all the animals, which I’ll never give up. My son and my pets are what keep me going.

Thank you you all so much. I’ll keep you posted.

“See these are the type of foolish childish games he plays.”

UM. Wrestling you to man handle YOU & steal YOUR phone isn’t “childish games”!!!! This is ABUSE! And yet another controlling and abusive act. No man or partner should ever do this!!! I’m sorry but this will most certainly escalate.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I recommend taking some protective actions even faster than you are. Starting with the recommendation to have a back up temp/pay-as-you-go cell.

Ugh... this isn’t good at all. As a man, this worries me quite a bit for you. Personally I wouldn’t stay there but that’s just me... and what I’d say to any female friend in my life.

Be safe! Thinking of you....

So... my fear is doing something like calling police and having him removed before I have alarm system and restraining order in place. I have no gun. Thankfully have never needed one. I have nothing here to protect me.

Sadly I live in an area where my half and side of the street is a different county than my entire township I live in, so my police have to come from approximately 30 minutes away. Unless of course one is patrolling nearby - but highly doubtful as I live in a very rural “safe” farmland area. Sadly, I’m not safe. The policewoman who has given me her contact is a police for the township I live in, bc she was called to the restaurant we were at. She has to stop her “area” 3 homes down from me, if that is not a crock of crap. Her police station is 6 miles away. My “county” police is 23 miles away. Ugh.

You see why I’m scared? Why I’m trying to get certain things in place before I make my move, or better yet... calling police on him while he’s out driving intoxicated is what I’m hoping to do, but I think he’s in to me and my ideas. He leaves when I’m not around or sleeping.

Yes trail mix... it’s all very confusing. When I first came here, he had never touched me physically. That was the first time he did, just several days ago. Do I really think he will again? I do not know. I’m trying not to wait to see if it will happen again either, but it’s not easy - I have fears, I have generalized anxiety disorder that makes it all 10x worse. I’ve been with him over 4 years and he’s never struck me before. Never. He pushed me out of the way, once or twice but never rough or hard, just kind of moved/pushed me out of his way as I was blocking him from going a particular way. Not making excuses, just explaining what it was. Never had he hit, punched, or anything like that.

I think my asking him to leave is causing him anger and frustration. I guess.

Im sorry. I’m truly not trying to sound like an idiot. I feel bad now.

Then you need to leave until you have your game plan figured out and have a support system in place. Too many red flags! I lived up in the mountains with my ex... when she became abusive, it was a very scary situation... and yes, I’m a man — but abuse is abuse. And abusive alcoholics are on a whole different level. My ex even had guns.

Listen, guns aren’t always the “safe” answer and can often create more harm when dealing with a violent alcoholic. Trust me!

Or like others have suggested, have someone stay with you!!!

Do you have a “neighbor”...or local friend you can trust? I had a few “friends” who would drive by to check on me... her and the house... it’s just a small town thing. They knew she was an alcoholic... it was no secret, even though she thought no one knew.

As for my dogs... I have 3 adults. They’re all in training 8 hours away from me. The male will be finished in 2 weeks, he competes in his trial for his title, then I’m bringing him home. I can’t get him early or he won’t get titles, he’s been gone since May - have spent a lot of money, would be foolish this late in his training to forget the title. The other 2 are just starting, they’ll be gone until winter.

I was the one who did all the pre-training and preparation for their training. They knew some commands and general idea before leaving. You can’t train bite work yourself on a family member. You work with a bite pillow, and I did this. There they’re learning the full routine. I will be taught and given lessons with my dogs before bringing them home, so yes they’ll work for me.

I have a 3 and 5 month old puppies here at home, they’re no help lol. They do sleep in my home. All my dogs do.

I have 2 wonderful neighbors on either side of me. They’re not in viewing or hearing distance of my house, and they’re both elderly. One is a woman, the other side is a man. They would help me if I asked.

I think Im going to move out. I think I’m going to have my brother in law and his brother come take care of the horses and other livestock and I’ll take puppies with me, and go to my mom and dads. They have big house with finished basement with bedrooms. They won’t know I’m there ... I can be quiet. Of course they’ll know, but you know what I mean. They’ve offered in the past. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if my ex husband wouldn’t help me, we have great relationship- still wish we were married, I didn’t want the divorce, and now look what is happening. So sad.

I think I’m going to leave tomorrow. It’s 10pm now, my parents are in bed by 8. They’ll be fine with it. I hope.

While there, I’ll have to wait until Monday, I’ll call my attorney and have her get the restraining order in motion and once that’s done, I’ll have police out to remove him from my home. Will I need to be here? I don’t want to be.

sorry I am so ignorant to the rules. All my 45 years I’ve never had to deal with this, and my father is an alcoholic. However, he’s functional and has always been a great father, husband and provider

Oh let me clear one thing up. He’s never verbally attacked my son TO my son. He has said it to me, never my son or anything. My son was home but thankfully asleep as it was after midnight on a school night and wasn’t aware of what was said. If he heard it, he would’ve told me, bc he hates this man.

I have promised my son, I would have him out of the house after Nov 1. If you recall, one of my first worrisome things was, can I complete my October to do list without him here. I was going to keep him around until then. The plan has been all along to be rid of him after October. Is that me using him? Probably, but... not to be vindictive. It is because I am overwhelmed and was afraid I can’t or couldn’t without him. I’m still worried to be honest.

Zen, this is good to know that they will protect you from family member if asked. Good! I wasn’t sure lol. Something I never thought I’d have to ask!! But yes, sadly the adults are all gone. Except of course my little 7 pound toy breed who is 12 and half blind. She has excellent hearing though, and alerts well. But - I pick my male up Oct 5. That’s coming right up. The other 2 are my females. They’ll be gone until Jan/Feb. They just left.

Thank you. I think you all have got me to a place where I KNOW I need to leave, and leave ASAP.

Ill contact the policewoman to see about my options while you wait for restraining order, because I have no clue. Obviously the sooner I’m back in my own home, the better I’ll be. I think.

I really worry about my out my state of depression when this is all said and done. Right now, I sort of feel like I’m running on pure adrenaline and anxiety to protect myself. Once it’s over, and that adrenaline goes away - then what happens with my depression.

Is it possible I could just purely be relieved and happy he’s gone, or will I go through grief and so forth like I did for my divorce. Of course big difference. I didn’t want a divorce. I want this.