Authenticity

Old 09-27-2019, 12:49 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Love this idea and hope I can keep it in my mind. I'm realizing, and other's are commenting, how much more I'm myself when AH is in active relapse and now that he's gone. It's because I'm not revolving my life around making sure he doesn't relapse. My therapist even mentioned that I will probably have to find a way to redirect my energy since I was so focused on him.

My changes so far are saying "yes" to more theatre - although I may have overdone it with dedicating time to 2 shows in 3 months. I've also been accepting invitations from friends more. I used to hover waiting/hoping that AH would do something with us...invariably he wouldn't so I don't know how I justified all the waiting.

I'm struggling missing him sometimes now. It would help to have no contact but that's impossible with a child. Any glimpse of the non-using him still gives me a hope that I don't truly want. I'm better and stronger without him.
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Thlayli View Post
Love this idea and hope I can keep it in my mind. I'm realizing, and other's are commenting, how much more I'm myself when AH is in active relapse and now that he's gone. It's because I'm not revolving my life around making sure he doesn't relapse. My therapist even mentioned that I will probably have to find a way to redirect my energy since I was so focused on him.

My changes so far are saying "yes" to more theatre - although I may have overdone it with dedicating time to 2 shows in 3 months. I've also been accepting invitations from friends more. I used to hover waiting/hoping that AH would do something with us...invariably he wouldn't so I don't know how I justified all the waiting.

I'm struggling missing him sometimes now. It would help to have no contact but that's impossible with a child. Any glimpse of the non-using him still gives me a hope that I don't truly want. I'm better and stronger without him.
ain’t it the truth...make em earn you...you are the double chocolate sundae with whipped cream. Gotta earn that ish!
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:39 PM
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I wanna be a dog living on the central coast. A lot of lovin’!
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:41 PM
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don't forget the cherry. it's not complete without it.
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by ironwill View Post
don't forget the cherry. it's not complete without it.
touché !
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Old 09-27-2019, 03:00 PM
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It’s my last weekend here at the coast and I reflect on before and now. Here’s what I learned:
1. The ocean is a metaphor; sometimes we are calm and serene, others times we are raging and coarse. Both times we are beautiful.
2. I. Am. Enough.
3. Shells have answers if you listen (thanks hawk)
4. Walking is good for the soul as well as the body.
5. The unlimited knowledge yet to grasp is as wide and deep as the sea. I basically know nothing.
6. People are not medicine.
7. Honesty does exist in humans. (Real eye opener there!)
8. I teach people how to treat me by how I feel about myself.
9. I own me and only me.
10. Don’t forget to floss especially after eating popcorn, the kind in the bag that’s cheesy and has lots of hulls. 🤨
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