Authenticity
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Originally Posted by HardLessons 
D&C
I for one have had about enough of your posts about struttin your stuff around on some beautiful beach in CA, new blond hair-do blowing in the breeze, all tanned up, meeting all kinds of people, dogs running around, & achieving some kind of peaceful zen like magical state of mind.
While I am totally stuck here at work all day long wondering when my addict is going to blow my cell phone up!
LOL JK
I for one have had about enough of your posts about struttin your stuff around on some beautiful beach in CA, new blond hair-do blowing in the breeze, all tanned up, meeting all kinds of people, dogs running around, & achieving some kind of peaceful zen like magical state of mind.
While I am totally stuck here at work all day long wondering when my addict is going to blow my cell phone up!
LOL JK
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
It is wonderful he is doing so well in recovery. Yes, he is moving too fast trying to organize a date for the holidays. He doesn't even have three months of recovery yet. He is still figuring out who he is in this new iteration of self. You cannot be a refuge for that.
I'm going to re-emphasize the importance of separate recovery for both of you over time.
After 25 years together, falling back into emotional reliance is pretty darn easy. That may not be the best choice short term for you as individuals, or long term for you as a couple should you choose to get back together down the road. Of course you know what is right for you, and I will always respect any choice you make.
Besides, who knows what may happen in Italy. Don't think your ex hasn't thought about that and is trying to lock you down emotionally even if it is subconscious on his part. I would do the same in his position truthfully. . .
Hope the sea is treating you well, but I'm sure it is blondie
P.S. I'm a blonde too
I'm going to re-emphasize the importance of separate recovery for both of you over time.
After 25 years together, falling back into emotional reliance is pretty darn easy. That may not be the best choice short term for you as individuals, or long term for you as a couple should you choose to get back together down the road. Of course you know what is right for you, and I will always respect any choice you make.
Besides, who knows what may happen in Italy. Don't think your ex hasn't thought about that and is trying to lock you down emotionally even if it is subconscious on his part. I would do the same in his position truthfully. . .
Hope the sea is treating you well, but I'm sure it is blondie
P.S. I'm a blonde too
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Love this thread.
It was about 6 mo in when i remember people telling me how different I was - those closest to me certainly did before. Now, authentic is one of the top words I get - good, bad, rarely indifferent (and much less "bad" than ever before!).
My husband is my best friend, the one I do want to spend the most time with, and so on. He is not my world. Can't be. We are both sober and as I've shared before have an unusual back story that goes to high school - but we reconnected sober, early days actually at 4.5 mo for me and a month for him - and the most important thing we did is put our individual recoveries first, then our life. Built it that way and Team Us, as we call it, is the best gift I have after sobriety.
Glad for you DC.
It was about 6 mo in when i remember people telling me how different I was - those closest to me certainly did before. Now, authentic is one of the top words I get - good, bad, rarely indifferent (and much less "bad" than ever before!).
My husband is my best friend, the one I do want to spend the most time with, and so on. He is not my world. Can't be. We are both sober and as I've shared before have an unusual back story that goes to high school - but we reconnected sober, early days actually at 4.5 mo for me and a month for him - and the most important thing we did is put our individual recoveries first, then our life. Built it that way and Team Us, as we call it, is the best gift I have after sobriety.
Glad for you DC.
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Originally Posted by August252015
Love this thread.
It was about 6 mo in when i remember people telling me how different I was - those closest to me certainly did before. Now, authentic is one of the top words I get - good, bad, rarely indifferent (and much less "bad" than ever before!).
My husband is my best friend, the one I do want to spend the most time with, and so on. He is not my world. Can't be. We are both sober and as I've shared before have an unusual back story that goes to high school - but we reconnected sober, early days actually at 4.5 mo for me and a month for him - and the most important thing we did is put our individual recoveries first, then our life. Built it that way and Team Us, as we call it, is the best gift I have after sobriety.
Glad for you DC.
It was about 6 mo in when i remember people telling me how different I was - those closest to me certainly did before. Now, authentic is one of the top words I get - good, bad, rarely indifferent (and much less "bad" than ever before!).
My husband is my best friend, the one I do want to spend the most time with, and so on. He is not my world. Can't be. We are both sober and as I've shared before have an unusual back story that goes to high school - but we reconnected sober, early days actually at 4.5 mo for me and a month for him - and the most important thing we did is put our individual recoveries first, then our life. Built it that way and Team Us, as we call it, is the best gift I have after sobriety.
Glad for you DC.
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Most welcome - and I will add something in appreciation and recognition of your inspiring position with your ex.
I tell my husband often how much he has grown in the 3 1/2 yrs we have been together - in some ways, he is so much braver than me and stronger for the quitting because he was "normal" and just "that kind of alcoholic" Who has learned so much about himself....and more pertinently to you, his ex wife got sober after he did (so a decent bit after me, maybe a year) and the transformation for them from ZERO co parenting other than minimal tactical $ issues that seemed so cold and often way beside the point to me, where they are now is a true miracle. Long story short, she even began reaching out to ME when truly serious issues came up, in addition to responding to my early simple gestures of respect (as the kids' mom, duh). To say she was ugly to and about me before would be an understatement, in the sense of true passive aggressive style (btw, being a unicorn of a wife and step-mom this baffled me). I'm proud of her too - and the kids sure benefit.
Anyway, my hat is off to you for lots of reasons.
I tell my husband often how much he has grown in the 3 1/2 yrs we have been together - in some ways, he is so much braver than me and stronger for the quitting because he was "normal" and just "that kind of alcoholic"
Who has learned so much about himself....and more pertinently to you, his ex wife got sober after he did (so a decent bit after me, maybe a year) and the transformation for them from ZERO co parenting other than minimal tactical $ issues that seemed so cold and often way beside the point to me, where they are now is a true miracle. Long story short, she even began reaching out to ME when truly serious issues came up, in addition to responding to my early simple gestures of respect (as the kids' mom, duh). To say she was ugly to and about me before would be an understatement, in the sense of true passive aggressive style (btw, being a unicorn of a wife and step-mom this baffled me). I'm proud of her too - and the kids sure benefit.Anyway, my hat is off to you for lots of reasons.
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AH called today. In a nutshell he said “ I guess you liked what I did for you, but not what I did to you.” Ya think??? Light dawns on Marblehead....At any rate after the call I went out and had a double chocolate sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top. 🤗🍨🍨
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Morning Dazed,
Double chocolate sundae with whipped cream and a cherry, It's to early in the morning for making me want ice cream. It sounds like your being very strong in your conversations and really know who you are now. You should be proud of your self. I guess you are. hence the whipped cream and cherry this time. LOL.
I'm glad you are getting the time to rediscover who the real dazed is. She sounds like she is in a happy place in her heart and soul. keep posting, keep strong and roll along.
Double chocolate sundae with whipped cream and a cherry, It's to early in the morning for making me want ice cream. It sounds like your being very strong in your conversations and really know who you are now. You should be proud of your self. I guess you are. hence the whipped cream and cherry this time. LOL.
I'm glad you are getting the time to rediscover who the real dazed is. She sounds like she is in a happy place in her heart and soul. keep posting, keep strong and roll along.
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DC - HA! "Amends" are a unique animal, aren't they? I recall my husband telling me early on that his ex-wife thought time healed all wrongs and apologies were never necessary. So her theory for quite awhile was that her kids would essentially "forget" about [ ] - not my business how she has made amends now in her program (I know she has to my husband) but I do wonder
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Originally Posted by ironwill
Morning Dazed,
Double chocolate sundae with whipped cream and a cherry, It's to early in the morning for making me want ice cream. It sounds like your being very strong in your conversations and really know who you are now. You should be proud of your self. I guess you are. hence the whipped cream and cherry this time. LOL.
I'm glad you are getting the time to rediscover who the real dazed is. She sounds like she is in a happy place in her heart and soul. keep posting, keep strong and roll along.
Double chocolate sundae with whipped cream and a cherry, It's to early in the morning for making me want ice cream. It sounds like your being very strong in your conversations and really know who you are now. You should be proud of your self. I guess you are. hence the whipped cream and cherry this time. LOL.
I'm glad you are getting the time to rediscover who the real dazed is. She sounds like she is in a happy place in her heart and soul. keep posting, keep strong and roll along.
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
That sounds realllyyy good. I cut sugar this week. It's was a bear and I felt terrible for about 5 days. So I will just envy you as you definitely deserve a treat my friend!!!!
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Originally Posted by August252015
DC - HA! "Amends" are a unique animal, aren't they? I recall my husband telling me early on that his ex-wife thought time healed all wrongs and apologies were never necessary. So her theory for quite awhile was that her kids would essentially "forget" about [ ] - not my business how she has made amends now in her program (I know she has to my husband) but I do wonder
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Originally Posted by trailmix
Amends with actions to back them, that would actually be refreshing to me!
I mean if you really knew it was genuine and they "got" it, that would be really nice - I'm guessing since I have never experienced this lol
I mean if you really knew it was genuine and they "got" it, that would be really nice - I'm guessing since I have never experienced this lol
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
well, I’m sitting at the dock of the bay( good song title!) and a nice man came and offered me freshly picked pomegranates. Lol! I still got it! Lol!
Persimmons - which I like, which are so rare to see here (I live quite a ways north). I walked by anyway because who knows how far they have travelled, but probably too far to taste good.
I give you - the persimmon!
Which has nothing to do with anything, but they are pretty.
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Originally Posted by HardLessons
Hope you didn't try & eat the pomegranate in front of this guy you just met?
They are messy to eat, the red juice stains, & the small seeds get stuck in your teeth
They are messy to eat, the red juice stains, & the small seeds get stuck in your teeth
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Originally Posted by trailmix
So you mentioned pomegranates which made me think of a fruit I saw yesterday in the store.
Persimmons - which I like, which are so rare to see here (I live quite a ways north). I walked by anyway because who knows how far they have travelled, but probably too far to taste good.
I give you - the persimmon!
Which has nothing to do with anything, but they are pretty.
Persimmons - which I like, which are so rare to see here (I live quite a ways north). I walked by anyway because who knows how far they have travelled, but probably too far to taste good.
I give you - the persimmon!
Which has nothing to do with anything, but they are pretty.
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