What I learned in AA meetings was hugely helpful in my own recovery. I immersed myself in AA open, speaker, 12 step and Big Book meetings along with Alanon and these forums.

since those days long ago I survived the Permanent split with my chronically relapsing fiancé, the od death of my A brother, the death of my addict ex husband father to my kids and my untreated codependent mother grieving herself to death over my brothers death.

2 tough years and I really believe that my immersion in AA ... strong cup of coffee AA with really strong healthy recovery through the program of the steps prepared me for the death of all my qualifiers (except the ex fiancé who has the 9 lives of 9 cats) ... I survived all of that because I had done the steps, loved them all but knew I couldn’t save anyone except myself... I trusted God and That faith and wisdom of understanding the A (to the best we can) is the beginning of freedom...

today i I am very involved in using my experience, strength and hope to help others. I founded a recovery event we had today and over 1000 showed up! That vision was birthed when I lost my brother....

resiliance. Knowledge. Understanding. Forgiveness. Grace. Peace. Serenity. Hope for the future.... we all want these things whether we are addicted to the substances or addicted to the addict!

oh... I listened to AA speakers online constantly along with Alanon speakers too... just google. That’s like the best of the best of AA at your fingertips.

My AA/Alanon/Web Speakers year with my then A fiancé began as his driver to meetings and I became fascinated by the culture and diversity of the meetings: dare I say quality of the recovery messages that the “conscience” of the group developed over time which ranged all over the planet!

My search for anawers to the gnawing question question of WHY???? And how do I “fix it”? I learned I can’t fix it but only the A along with God to seek recovery -authentic hard work whatever it takes recovery- and I could motivate the motions but not the inner change... that dark night of the soul... deflation at depth psychiatry tells us that sparks a change in the brain.

and that change can happen and the addictive brain can recover the ability to control thier frontal lobe and can continue to do the work to retrain thier brain. I believe all alcoholics are capable of recovery.

But most just prefer to just have another drink. In thier estimation it’s just too much work to find thier way out of not feeling comfortable in thier skin. Often trauma based or the genetic bullet or they are just thirsty.... for the relief they feel just a drink away.

so... I can’t understand that because I don’t feel it like they do...but I get it more now because I have hung out with lots of A’s who did find freedom and thier stories, spirituality, wisdom and often great love is a huge inspiration. I have found more God and grace in AA meetings than in most churches!

And i I can testify as I am in street ministry so I can criticize my family... headed to church now (the one with the steeple but God is everywhere... and God put me on my own journey to true peace and serenity.

by the way I first got hooked on speaker by listening to Chris R! Oh my... inspired my xfiance to his first year of sobriety before relapse! He quit doing the work😢... but that is the freedom they have.

hope that helps!