Time for an Update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
Time for an Update
Well it's been a month since my last update and I though one was due today.
First of all, I would like to thank all the people who have helped me those first few days.
I was pretty shaken up. You guys gave me lots of good advice and pulled me through it. 
I have been to al-anon now every Monday and have shared every time. I'm usually the one who is staring at the ground or fidgeting with my book hiding in the corner (if you hadn't guessed it, I can be very shy in groups). But since the begin of going to al-anon, I have made it a point to not be that person. To actively participate in shares and to talk to people before and after the meeting. Guess what, they were nice and kind and didn't try and turn me into a flying monkey (though I had a bottle of water ready). I plan to keep going. it brings me peace and fulfillment in my heart. It's part of the journey i know i need to make to complete me and get me better. I still have a lot of learning to do, but it is a good group and very helpful and understanding.
My AW is still going strong with here AA treatment. She is almost 4 months sober. I am very proud of her, she received her 90 day chip and she continues to push forward with her goal of completing the 12 steps. We are talking openly and honestly each day. It is such a great feeling to see her starting to become the wife I married and not wear the many masked she put on to deceive people and me. We both state we feel closer now then we ever did. Yes we have had a few disagreements. But I have stood my ground on what I felt and not just given in. Why she still has that alcoholic urge to always be right. She has also learned through her steps that she is not always right and to listen to my side and to not dismiss it. It feels not like I'm winning but my side of the disagreement means something and has value. If that makes sense. We are taking more date nights and being there for each other if we need support or just a hug. We both know this is long journey that will wind down many roads ahead of us. But we are both up for it. The issues with the sponsor and church guy have been taken care of and for the most part behind us.
My kids are doing good. All 5 of them (from 5th grade to freshmen in college). They understand everything that is happening and support us. Now if could figure out how to get them off there computers or phones that would be marvelous. But I guess that is a whole other support group.
Once again I want to thank you all for being there for me. Helping others on this forum has been beneficial to me. It makes me feel like I might of made somebody's day a little brighter. I have never been the best at putting words together, but I try and speak from my heart when I do.
You all have a great day and to borrow a line I gave to Dazedanconfus; Let your Hamster ball move you around and find new things to bring you joy and knowledge, but still have your boundaries to keep you safe.
First of all, I would like to thank all the people who have helped me those first few days.
I was pretty shaken up. You guys gave me lots of good advice and pulled me through it. I have been to al-anon now every Monday and have shared every time. I'm usually the one who is staring at the ground or fidgeting with my book hiding in the corner (if you hadn't guessed it, I can be very shy in groups). But since the begin of going to al-anon, I have made it a point to not be that person. To actively participate in shares and to talk to people before and after the meeting. Guess what, they were nice and kind and didn't try and turn me into a flying monkey (though I had a bottle of water ready). I plan to keep going. it brings me peace and fulfillment in my heart. It's part of the journey i know i need to make to complete me and get me better. I still have a lot of learning to do, but it is a good group and very helpful and understanding.
My AW is still going strong with here AA treatment. She is almost 4 months sober. I am very proud of her, she received her 90 day chip and she continues to push forward with her goal of completing the 12 steps. We are talking openly and honestly each day. It is such a great feeling to see her starting to become the wife I married and not wear the many masked she put on to deceive people and me. We both state we feel closer now then we ever did. Yes we have had a few disagreements. But I have stood my ground on what I felt and not just given in. Why she still has that alcoholic urge to always be right. She has also learned through her steps that she is not always right and to listen to my side and to not dismiss it. It feels not like I'm winning but my side of the disagreement means something and has value. If that makes sense. We are taking more date nights and being there for each other if we need support or just a hug. We both know this is long journey that will wind down many roads ahead of us. But we are both up for it. The issues with the sponsor and church guy have been taken care of and for the most part behind us.
My kids are doing good. All 5 of them (from 5th grade to freshmen in college). They understand everything that is happening and support us. Now if could figure out how to get them off there computers or phones that would be marvelous. But I guess that is a whole other support group.
Once again I want to thank you all for being there for me. Helping others on this forum has been beneficial to me. It makes me feel like I might of made somebody's day a little brighter. I have never been the best at putting words together, but I try and speak from my heart when I do.
You all have a great day and to borrow a line I gave to Dazedanconfus; Let your Hamster ball move you around and find new things to bring you joy and knowledge, but still have your boundaries to keep you safe.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
What a marvelous update! I'm happy for you Ironwill.
Just to follow up on one thing you said, yes, your presence here, your experience and posting does make a difference to a lot of people.
There are many who just read here as well and never post or do so after a few years, so there are many you are helping and you don't even know it!
I'm glad you are here and I hope things keep going well for you and your wife.
Just to follow up on one thing you said, yes, your presence here, your experience and posting does make a difference to a lot of people.
There are many who just read here as well and never post or do so after a few years, so there are many you are helping and you don't even know it!
I'm glad you are here and I hope things keep going well for you and your wife.
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