dawnrising

So now I know why AH wants to mediate since our motion. Turns out lying in court is a third degree felony punishable by 2-10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.(aggravated perjury) In fact when things like this happen it is common for the non offending party to get 100% of the marital assets. That is just the beginning because he has opened up his company to an ERISA lawsuit for denying me my rights through fraud. He also committed identity theft by using our sons social security number without his permission which apparently is also a felony. Wow thinking I will take my chances with the judge, as I was looking through the judges cases this year. He is very punitive when it comes to things like this, 2 cases this year denying the "perjer"(?) any leeway for lack of a better term. In one of the cases the "Perjer" tried to blame his attorney that "he didn't know" and our judge held him accountable anyway. Apparently the law says you are responsible, you signed the papers under oath, you gave the testimony under oath...... WOW! I am sure this was the plan of my AH to blame his attorney oops. Guess what you lied so many times. Someone needs to hold this guy accountable for his behavior looks like its gonna be me and the court.

Bekindalways

Wow Dawn.

It is so sad that so many alcoholics have to go so far down but many do. Perhaps being prosecuted for felonies will be a wakeup call for him but for many there is no waking up to the reality. Alcohol is so very powerful.

Take the next right step doing the best you can.

SmallButMighty

Dawn, you should write a book! This is the stuff movies are made of...

I can't wait to see how this all plays out... I'm excited for you, no matter what happens and how it turns out... your ex completely screwed himself on this and it's just so lovely to watch the "villain" get their comeuppance !

hopeful4

Wow.

I would let the judge decide what happens myself. Using your child's social? That is horrible.

Sending you a big hug and lots of support!

LovePeaceSushi

I took a business law class eons ago in college. On the first day of class, "IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE" was written on the chalkboard and that is what we talked about. It burned into my mind and has stayed there. "I didn't know" doesn't work when it comes to the law. I'm loving how your story is turning out for you, Dawn! Sending you prayers and hugs for the best outcome possible!!!!

DiggingForFire

dawnrising

What I really want is for AH to be held accountable for his actions for the first time in his life. The privilege that he walks around with is ridiculous, discovery "is not worthy of my time" but it's the law!! -yep that document is on file with the court, the bold face lying to the court about so many topics. He used my (autistic) sons SSN# to apply for an apt "so son could visit" except he was listed as an occupant on the original lease document that would have made my son responsible for 4500/month if something happened to AH. He had been trying to force son to live with him while finishing college, for awhile. Our son was constantly telling me" I just can't do it, I can't give him what he wants". Thank goodness we caught it and my son refused to sign it. They ran a hard credit check on my son, he never applied or gave anyone his info. When asked (yes in writing) AH says "i'm just trying to build his credit history" . Our son had 3 apartment leases before this, he has a just fine credit history. The therapist/doctors and I had spent years trying to get him to a self sufficient level because at some point the both of us are not going to be around anymore, but selfish AH tried to blow up all that work. Also sent son a list of "deliverables" for my son to provide if he wants his college paid for - one of them included cleaning out his car??? Not once in years has AH been to our sons therapist or psychiatrist, he is handicapping our sons future, he's disgusting. What kind of person does that to their own child. I would go through hell and high water to give both of our kids the skills to live the life they want, knowing full well they will move away from me and live their own lives. Sick! Yes I am thinking anything less than 100% is a non starter, I would rather take less and have all the information on file with the court for public consumption so he is held accountable maybe then he will get some help. If I took 100% it would be hard for him for about 6 months but honestly he makes so much money he would be fine and back at tormenting our children again in no time. My kiddos don't deserve this, but those are the memories AH is leaving them with . He's going to die at his own hands if he keeps this up and much sooner than later.

AnvilheadII

so he is held accountable maybe then he will get some help

i don't think he is in the group that CAN be helped. you can't graft empathy onto a person's soul. especially if they don't have one.

i understand the righteous indignation and desire to see some karmic payback put a molly whomp on him. careful tho. bitterness and vengeance can be a toxic brew. you can't change the years of damage that occurred while you and the kids were with him. you are doing everything you can TODAY and that is what counts.

...building his credit, my azzzz! i pray for the best possible outcome for all of you.

dawnrising

I know I can't change anything about the past, the thought of my kids dealing with him left "unchecked" for the rest of their fathers life, is what is keeping me up at night. They need this to stop, My daughter had blocked him from her life, and then tried to communicate with him this summer; within less than 24 hours of her contacting him in good faith, he reverted back to his old behavior. She then had a massive panic attack(the worst one she has ever had), she had not had one since she went no contact last year. My son is being held "financial" hostage for tuition, he does not have the life skills to deal with this level of dysfunction. My kids need this to stop and AH will not stop unless forced to. I cannot force him, but the court can. I am not after vengeance I don't have time for that and that just locks me into the sickness even more. I have peace, I want peace for my children. I have the ability to walk away and have done so, I just want them to be free to live their lives without the constant fear of AH popping in/out of their lives at his convenience, bringing his chaos tornado with him. He won't respect boundaries heck he probably won't respect another order of the court anyway as he doesn't seem to think he has to follow the law. Guess it's not worthy of his time.

NYCDoglvr

Ditto, let the judge decide. I'm so sorry you're going through a stressful situation like this. Big hug!