Divorce is Final
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
Divorce is Final
Yesterday we were granted our divorce. XAH is working out of town and so messages him last week asking if he was going to make the court hearing. No he said and said he contacted MY attorney for them to please find out if he can attend via conference call. Court granted that and when the judge called him he got his voicemail! Doesn’t even have the wherewithal to show up for his own divorce hearing! Then called me 15 times (while the proceedings were going on). What the he11 was he calling ME for? I have no idea!
But judge proceeded to without him.
XAH changed his FB status within 5 minutes of the court proceedings!
Well his actions just drove home the final straw for me in that I know I did the right thing.
I am still a bit numb I think and I don’t really feel sad. I may have felt different if he would’ve been there????
But judge proceeded to without him.
XAH changed his FB status within 5 minutes of the court proceedings!
Well his actions just drove home the final straw for me in that I know I did the right thing.
I am still a bit numb I think and I don’t really feel sad. I may have felt different if he would’ve been there????
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Maybe it was easier that he wasn’t...I went to court alone. XAH then called me that afternoon at work and said, “I was hoping you’d be too upset to be at work.” Note he was calling me...from work. Such a gem, that guy.
Sending you a hug. Even when it’s right it’s still not easy.
Sending you a hug. Even when it’s right it’s still not easy.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,629
I have often said that divorce should be the same as marriage (legal process).
You should be able to go to the courthouse/registy etc, sign an uncontested divorce contract and that's that.
Why jurisdictions need to make it difficult I have never understood. Is this some throw back thinking that "morally" we need to be held accountable by institutions? It's really ridiculous if you think about it.
Custody, separation of assets should be a different matter altogether and should be handled separately in my opinion. First the divorce is done (by signing a paper), then the rest should be taken care of.
ok - end rant.
ScaryTime, maybe if he had been there you would have felt differently, hard to say or maybe you would have just felt numb. It's an emotional defense and it is handy!
I'm glad that part is over for you anyway.
You should be able to go to the courthouse/registy etc, sign an uncontested divorce contract and that's that.
Why jurisdictions need to make it difficult I have never understood. Is this some throw back thinking that "morally" we need to be held accountable by institutions? It's really ridiculous if you think about it.
Custody, separation of assets should be a different matter altogether and should be handled separately in my opinion. First the divorce is done (by signing a paper), then the rest should be taken care of.
ok - end rant.
ScaryTime, maybe if he had been there you would have felt differently, hard to say or maybe you would have just felt numb. It's an emotional defense and it is handy!
I'm glad that part is over for you anyway.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Congrats don't seem appropriate, but I'm glad that things are finalized for you ScaryTime. The closure helps. You will probably cycle through several emotions when the "numbness" wears off. That's normal.
I knew divorcing my AXH was the right thing to do. That really didn't make it any easier. Picking up the divorce certificate from the court house was a gutting experience for me.
I've known people who've thrown divorce parties. (My AXH probably did) I've always thought that was in poor taste. While I understand being grateful something so difficult is done and over with, I don't feel celebrating the painful death of a relationship seems appropriate either. But I guess that could just be me.
I knew divorcing my AXH was the right thing to do. That really didn't make it any easier. Picking up the divorce certificate from the court house was a gutting experience for me.
I've known people who've thrown divorce parties. (My AXH probably did) I've always thought that was in poor taste. While I understand being grateful something so difficult is done and over with, I don't feel celebrating the painful death of a relationship seems appropriate either. But I guess that could just be me.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
Court granted that and when the judge called him he got his voicemail!
what a champ! i think that just sort of sums it all up.
there is something a bit anti-climatic about the divorce finale. i never had to go TO court, so i just got the papers. and it was like.....huh....so that's it. no party, no balloons, no confetti, no parade.
no need to force yourself to feel anything right now. it will come. in dribs and drabs or maybe all at once while you are sitting at a red light. or maybe not. sometimes it's just an "eh" kind of thing.
what a champ! i think that just sort of sums it all up.
there is something a bit anti-climatic about the divorce finale. i never had to go TO court, so i just got the papers. and it was like.....huh....so that's it. no party, no balloons, no confetti, no parade.
no need to force yourself to feel anything right now. it will come. in dribs and drabs or maybe all at once while you are sitting at a red light. or maybe not. sometimes it's just an "eh" kind of thing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 94
I know today was full of mixed feelings. I went through a divorce a few years ago from my alcoholic husband. While I had mixed feelings if I was doing the right thing, those feelings soon dissipated when peace began to dwell in my home. As you know, that's no small thing after living with an addict.
I'm new, so don't know all of your story, but I pray you find healing and peace.
I'm new, so don't know all of your story, but I pray you find healing and peace.
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