My update!
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 526
My update!
I wanted to let you all know how I am doing. I never thought I could feel so happy and excited about life! I left XAH in May 2016, and it was a contentious divorce. The last bit of the finances was finally completed in June of this year! I retired at the end of July and I have been sooo happy. Trying new things, arranging travel plans, feathering my nest. My life is so full it is hard for me to decide what to do with my time. My home is beautiful. I am surrounded by loving friends and family. I have been experimenting with life deciding what to leave in and what to leave out, and my fear at trying new things is much reduced. It is easier to decide- no I don't want that- or yes I do. Strangely enough, I feel less distressed that my son has cut me out of my life. Life is good and I don't deserve someone in my life who treats me with disrespect.
At times these past three years were so difficult. I would read here and listen to certain music to help me through- and of course, my friends helped. If you are in the in between stage after leaving, it does get better. I found this hard to believe when I read it from other posters here, but it is so true. If I hadn't left XAH I would never have known the happiness and freedom I have today. The only way I really understood it was to experience it! So glad I took the risk! Living with a selfish person who didn't love me and abused me was no way to live.
At times these past three years were so difficult. I would read here and listen to certain music to help me through- and of course, my friends helped. If you are in the in between stage after leaving, it does get better. I found this hard to believe when I read it from other posters here, but it is so true. If I hadn't left XAH I would never have known the happiness and freedom I have today. The only way I really understood it was to experience it! So glad I took the risk! Living with a selfish person who didn't love me and abused me was no way to live.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by qtpi 
I wanted to let you all know how I am doing. I never thought I could feel so happy and excited about life! I left XAH in May 2016, and it was a contentious divorce. The last bit of the finances was finally completed in June of this year! I retired at the end of July and I have been sooo happy. Trying new things, arranging travel plans, feathering my nest. My life is so full it is hard for me to decide what to do with my time. My home is beautiful. I am surrounded by loving friends and family. I have been experimenting with life deciding what to leave in and what to leave out, and my fear at trying new things is much reduced. It is easier to decide- no I don't want that- or yes I do. Strangely enough, I feel less distressed that my son has cut me out of my life. Life is good and I don't deserve someone in my life who treats me with disrespect.
At times these past three years were so difficult. I would read here and listen to certain music to help me through- and of course, my friends helped. If you are in the in between stage after leaving, it does get better. I found this hard to believe when I read it from other posters here, but it is so true. If I hadn't left XAH I would never have known the happiness and freedom I have today. The only way I really understood it was to experience it! So glad I took the risk! Living with a selfish person who didn't love me and abused me was no way to live.
At times these past three years were so difficult. I would read here and listen to certain music to help me through- and of course, my friends helped. If you are in the in between stage after leaving, it does get better. I found this hard to believe when I read it from other posters here, but it is so true. If I hadn't left XAH I would never have known the happiness and freedom I have today. The only way I really understood it was to experience it! So glad I took the risk! Living with a selfish person who didn't love me and abused me was no way to live.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
My life is so full it is hard for me to decide what to do with my time. My home is beautiful. I am surrounded by loving friends and family.
holy moly QTPI, you sound amazing! thank you so much for taking time to come here and share.
holy moly QTPI, you sound amazing! thank you so much for taking time to come here and share.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Qtpi!!! Your update warms my heart! I can absolutely feel the glow coming from you... Thank you for sharing it with us.
We've traveled so much of this same road together in so many similar ways... I am so very glad for you that you have found the peace, happiness and freedom that you so deserve. I am over the moon happy for you.
*BIG-HUG*
We've traveled so much of this same road together in so many similar ways... I am so very glad for you that you have found the peace, happiness and freedom that you so deserve. I am over the moon happy for you.
*BIG-HUG*
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
qtpi…….I especially remember your prior threads....as a mother, I remember your situation with your adult son.....and, I knew how heart rendering it was/has been for you....
I am sooo happy to hear that your life has entered such a great new chapter!
And, I salute the courage and will that you have shown in facing what you have had to face....
I know that I have said this to you, before, but I want to remind you of this...because I do believe it.....eventually, your son will come around....and, it may take a lot more time.....but, time is on your side....
I have seen more times than I can count....that adult children would disengage from a parent...sometimes, for years....and, then come around, again....
My own sister did that to my mother.....and, to a lesser extent with the rest of the family ...for 4 years.... (I know that she was having some mental/emotional struggles of her own, at the time). My mother suffered so much during those 4 years. Then, suddenly, my sister came around...but, never talked about the absence...just picked up like nothing had happened. She did seem to be changed, for the better (I think she had gotten lots of therapy)….
That was a long time ago....and, she never did the same thing again....
It is such a blessing that you are living your life for YOU, now....
When he does come around...as I believe he will, somewhere down the road....he will find a much happier mother to relate to....
I am sooo happy to hear that your life has entered such a great new chapter!
And, I salute the courage and will that you have shown in facing what you have had to face....
I know that I have said this to you, before, but I want to remind you of this...because I do believe it.....eventually, your son will come around....and, it may take a lot more time.....but, time is on your side....
I have seen more times than I can count....that adult children would disengage from a parent...sometimes, for years....and, then come around, again....
My own sister did that to my mother.....and, to a lesser extent with the rest of the family ...for 4 years.... (I know that she was having some mental/emotional struggles of her own, at the time). My mother suffered so much during those 4 years. Then, suddenly, my sister came around...but, never talked about the absence...just picked up like nothing had happened. She did seem to be changed, for the better (I think she had gotten lots of therapy)….
That was a long time ago....and, she never did the same thing again....
It is such a blessing that you are living your life for YOU, now....
When he does come around...as I believe he will, somewhere down the road....he will find a much happier mother to relate to....
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