Making a Move Forward...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: England U.K.
Posts: 62
Making a Move Forward...
Hi All,
I decided after 1st posting to read a lot of threads to climatise and so glad I did.
I’ve got a long way to go I’ve learnt....I’m so behind in my Self Care no wonder I feel ill/down but functionable.
So many people going thru this...I relate to Every single one. Never found help. Feel I’ve been thru so many Adrenalin charged situations I don’t know how I’m still standing tbh.
Quick Potted History : I thought my life was normal, dealing with a passive drinker? All our married life (40)
I was a child of a Prescription Drug Addict Mother....didn’t know that then obvs, only came to our attention (2 sisters) in our 40s, when it became Media news that there were these people suffering addiction to Valium, 50 years she was on it & never treated.
It still never clicked tbh the repercussions of that and both myself & my sisters have suffered diff issues because of it.
So bk to Me, I bought the Co dependance book 8 years ago when this broke with my ExAH...I put it away I couldn’t read it...it was like Pandora’s box...I panicked, went into denial...till this year.
So it’s blown, I’m here, he’s there...It’s time to do the work on Me.
And without this site I seriously wld not of known this. Ignorance is not always bliss!
I’ve followed stories that I really Carnt believe I have experience of (rem I knew nothing of the physiological damage) and urging people to do what u advise & thinking...I’m all talk & no action. Inertia.....as I honestly didn’t know what to do, sounds mad doesn’t.
But DazedandConfuse....Carnt tell u how yr situation has helped me open my eyes to what I need to do for Myself...I’ve been thru all that..I’m halfway there, I asked him to leave...I have peace..but I’ve done nothing else to heal. So I thank u for yr posts ❤️
I’m not sure Treatment wise where to go from here, as in the Uk it’s very limited...but I ll make a start.
Thank u for reading.
xxx
I decided after 1st posting to read a lot of threads to climatise and so glad I did.
I’ve got a long way to go I’ve learnt....I’m so behind in my Self Care no wonder I feel ill/down but functionable.
So many people going thru this...I relate to Every single one. Never found help. Feel I’ve been thru so many Adrenalin charged situations I don’t know how I’m still standing tbh.
Quick Potted History : I thought my life was normal, dealing with a passive drinker? All our married life (40)
I was a child of a Prescription Drug Addict Mother....didn’t know that then obvs, only came to our attention (2 sisters) in our 40s, when it became Media news that there were these people suffering addiction to Valium, 50 years she was on it & never treated.
It still never clicked tbh the repercussions of that and both myself & my sisters have suffered diff issues because of it.
So bk to Me, I bought the Co dependance book 8 years ago when this broke with my ExAH...I put it away I couldn’t read it...it was like Pandora’s box...I panicked, went into denial...till this year.
So it’s blown, I’m here, he’s there...It’s time to do the work on Me.
And without this site I seriously wld not of known this. Ignorance is not always bliss!
I’ve followed stories that I really Carnt believe I have experience of (rem I knew nothing of the physiological damage) and urging people to do what u advise & thinking...I’m all talk & no action. Inertia.....as I honestly didn’t know what to do, sounds mad doesn’t.
But DazedandConfuse....Carnt tell u how yr situation has helped me open my eyes to what I need to do for Myself...I’ve been thru all that..I’m halfway there, I asked him to leave...I have peace..but I’ve done nothing else to heal. So I thank u for yr posts ❤️
I’m not sure Treatment wise where to go from here, as in the Uk it’s very limited...but I ll make a start.
Thank u for reading.
xxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by Noodler 
Hi All,
I decided after 1st posting to read a lot of threads to climatise and so glad I did.
I’ve got a long way to go I’ve learnt....I’m so behind in my Self Care no wonder I feel ill/down but functionable.
So many people going thru this...I relate to Every single one. Never found help. Feel I’ve been thru so many Adrenalin charged situations I don’t know how I’m still standing tbh.
Quick Potted History : I thought my life was normal, dealing with a passive drinker? All our married life (40)
I was a child of a Prescription Drug Addict Mother....didn’t know that then obvs, only came to our attention (2 sisters) in our 40s, when it became Media news that there were these people suffering addiction to Valium, 50 years she was on it & never treated.
It still never clicked tbh the repercussions of that and both myself & my sisters have suffered diff issues because of it.
So bk to Me, I bought the Co dependance book 8 years ago when this broke with my ExAH...I put it away I couldn’t read it...it was like Pandora’s box...I panicked, went into denial...till this year.
So it’s blown, I’m here, he’s there...It’s time to do the work on Me.
And without this site I seriously wld not of known this. Ignorance is not always bliss!
I’ve followed stories that I really Carnt believe I have experience of (rem I knew nothing of the physiological damage) and urging people to do what u advise & thinking...I’m all talk & no action. Inertia.....as I honestly didn’t know what to do, sounds mad doesn’t.
But DazedandConfuse....Carnt tell u how yr situation has helped me open my eyes to what I need to do for Myself...I’ve been thru all that..I’m halfway there, I asked him to leave...I have peace..but I’ve done nothing else to heal. So I thank u for yr posts ❤️
I’m not sure Treatment wise where to go from here, as in the Uk it’s very limited...but I ll make a start.
Thank u for reading.
xxx
I decided after 1st posting to read a lot of threads to climatise and so glad I did.
I’ve got a long way to go I’ve learnt....I’m so behind in my Self Care no wonder I feel ill/down but functionable.
So many people going thru this...I relate to Every single one. Never found help. Feel I’ve been thru so many Adrenalin charged situations I don’t know how I’m still standing tbh.
Quick Potted History : I thought my life was normal, dealing with a passive drinker? All our married life (40)
I was a child of a Prescription Drug Addict Mother....didn’t know that then obvs, only came to our attention (2 sisters) in our 40s, when it became Media news that there were these people suffering addiction to Valium, 50 years she was on it & never treated.
It still never clicked tbh the repercussions of that and both myself & my sisters have suffered diff issues because of it.
So bk to Me, I bought the Co dependance book 8 years ago when this broke with my ExAH...I put it away I couldn’t read it...it was like Pandora’s box...I panicked, went into denial...till this year.
So it’s blown, I’m here, he’s there...It’s time to do the work on Me.
And without this site I seriously wld not of known this. Ignorance is not always bliss!
I’ve followed stories that I really Carnt believe I have experience of (rem I knew nothing of the physiological damage) and urging people to do what u advise & thinking...I’m all talk & no action. Inertia.....as I honestly didn’t know what to do, sounds mad doesn’t.
But DazedandConfuse....Carnt tell u how yr situation has helped me open my eyes to what I need to do for Myself...I’ve been thru all that..I’m halfway there, I asked him to leave...I have peace..but I’ve done nothing else to heal. So I thank u for yr posts ❤️
I’m not sure Treatment wise where to go from here, as in the Uk it’s very limited...but I ll make a start.
Thank u for reading.
xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: England U.K.
Posts: 62
Thank u DC
I have learnt here what u can hope to expect from life without an Alcoholic in your life. People who care what u think or do, ask after yr health, help when u need it, generally are interested in YOU.
I realise I ve never had that person around Me who cared enough, so I’ve learnt none of my needs have ever been met. It’s always been about someone else from a very early age. So I expected nothing.
Even now a conversation will ALWAYS be about him, his progression, his lack of money (even tho I’ve nearly gone bankrupt) no one is listening.
Talking became futile, the addiction took over, it was a competition about who was right. He wld Never bk down or be humble (obvs) so it went on. ..on....on...on. That’s the one reason in the end that I knew it was absolutely futile trying to fight addiction, it’s much stronger than u, I or them. It Rules & wins, every time. Every time u try to reason it will beat u. Utterly soul destroying. And there we have it, destroyed, if we are not careful. And that’s why I ll make it, if I stay here, listen, heed, do & thank the Universe for connecting me with these people who are far ahead of Me on healing & self preservation & have all the wisdom. I have met no one yet who has any knowledge of Addiction so It can be quite isolating.
But I already feel better by being here.
Onwards & Upwards ❤️❤️
Xx
I have learnt here what u can hope to expect from life without an Alcoholic in your life. People who care what u think or do, ask after yr health, help when u need it, generally are interested in YOU.
I realise I ve never had that person around Me who cared enough, so I’ve learnt none of my needs have ever been met. It’s always been about someone else from a very early age. So I expected nothing.
Even now a conversation will ALWAYS be about him, his progression, his lack of money (even tho I’ve nearly gone bankrupt) no one is listening.
Talking became futile, the addiction took over, it was a competition about who was right. He wld Never bk down or be humble (obvs) so it went on. ..on....on...on. That’s the one reason in the end that I knew it was absolutely futile trying to fight addiction, it’s much stronger than u, I or them. It Rules & wins, every time. Every time u try to reason it will beat u. Utterly soul destroying. And there we have it, destroyed, if we are not careful. And that’s why I ll make it, if I stay here, listen, heed, do & thank the Universe for connecting me with these people who are far ahead of Me on healing & self preservation & have all the wisdom. I have met no one yet who has any knowledge of Addiction so It can be quite isolating.
But I already feel better by being here.
Onwards & Upwards ❤️❤️
Xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by Noodler
Thank u DC
I have learnt here what u can hope to expect from life without an Alcoholic in your life. People who care what u think or do, ask after yr health, help when u need it, generally are interested in YOU.
I realise I ve never had that person around Me who cared enough, so I’ve learnt none of my needs have ever been met. It’s always been about someone else from a very early age. So I expected nothing.
Even now a conversation will ALWAYS be about him, his progression, his lack of money (even tho I’ve nearly gone bankrupt) no one is listening.
Talking became futile, the addiction took over, it was a competition about who was right. He wld Never bk down or be humble (obvs) so it went on. ..on....on...on. That’s the one reason in the end that I knew it was absolutely futile trying to fight addiction, it’s much stronger than u, I or them. It Rules & wins, every time. Every time u try to reason it will beat u. Utterly soul destroying. And there we have it, destroyed, if we are not careful. And that’s why I ll make it, if I stay here, listen, heed, do & thank the Universe for connecting me with these people who are far ahead of Me on healing & self preservation & have all the wisdom. I have met no one yet who has any knowledge of Addiction so It can be quite isolating.
But I already feel better by being here.
Onwards & Upwards ❤️❤️
Xx
I have learnt here what u can hope to expect from life without an Alcoholic in your life. People who care what u think or do, ask after yr health, help when u need it, generally are interested in YOU.
I realise I ve never had that person around Me who cared enough, so I’ve learnt none of my needs have ever been met. It’s always been about someone else from a very early age. So I expected nothing.
Even now a conversation will ALWAYS be about him, his progression, his lack of money (even tho I’ve nearly gone bankrupt) no one is listening.
Talking became futile, the addiction took over, it was a competition about who was right. He wld Never bk down or be humble (obvs) so it went on. ..on....on...on. That’s the one reason in the end that I knew it was absolutely futile trying to fight addiction, it’s much stronger than u, I or them. It Rules & wins, every time. Every time u try to reason it will beat u. Utterly soul destroying. And there we have it, destroyed, if we are not careful. And that’s why I ll make it, if I stay here, listen, heed, do & thank the Universe for connecting me with these people who are far ahead of Me on healing & self preservation & have all the wisdom. I have met no one yet who has any knowledge of Addiction so It can be quite isolating.
But I already feel better by being here.
Onwards & Upwards ❤️❤️
Xx
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