I’m out again
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I’m out again
AH started talking about killing himself. I gave him the suicide hotline number. He said no one else cares I guess the county will bury me. That’s when I left. I’m staying out again for a few days. Insanity.
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Dazed.....I would always call 911 when he talks like that. If he talks like that, say 10 times...I would call 10 times. They have to show up. Giving the hot line number is also a good move...in addition to calling 911, of course.
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
Dazed.....I would always call 911 when he talks like that. If he talks like that, say 10 times...I would call 10 times. They have to show up. Giving the hot line number is also a good move...in addition to calling 911, of course.
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But calling 911 will put a stop to him using the threat of suicide as a tactic to manipulate and hurt you.
And if he is serious, which I doubt, he will have trained and objective professional people to help him.
Glad you got out. Stick to the early move out timetable DC. This verbal torture isn't helping either one of you.
And if he is serious, which I doubt, he will have trained and objective professional people to help him.
Glad you got out. Stick to the early move out timetable DC. This verbal torture isn't helping either one of you.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
But calling 911 will put a stop to him using the threat of suicide as a tactic to manipulate and hurt you.
And if he is serious, which I doubt, he will have trained and objective professional people to help him.
Glad you got out. Stick to the early move out timetable DC. This verbal torture isn't helping either one of you.
And if he is serious, which I doubt, he will have trained and objective professional people to help him.
Glad you got out. Stick to the early move out timetable DC. This verbal torture isn't helping either one of you.
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Dazed,
My ex used the suicide threat also. It's been over a decade and he just got out of detox... again. Although I feel sad for him I am thankful that it is not my problem any more.
Someone on this forum used the term "emotional terrorism" and it helped me to put that name on it because that is exactly what it is.
I had to accept that he might actually commit suicide and that it was his choice and I was as helpless to stop it as I was to stop the drinking.
I worked at a nuclear plant and they used the phrase "time, distance and shielding" to minimize radiation exposure. I learned to use the same principle with my ex. Spend as little time around him as possible, have as much distance as possible and if possible have another person present (shielding)."
Hang in there. It will get better.
My ex used the suicide threat also. It's been over a decade and he just got out of detox... again. Although I feel sad for him I am thankful that it is not my problem any more.
Someone on this forum used the term "emotional terrorism" and it helped me to put that name on it because that is exactly what it is.
I had to accept that he might actually commit suicide and that it was his choice and I was as helpless to stop it as I was to stop the drinking.
I worked at a nuclear plant and they used the phrase "time, distance and shielding" to minimize radiation exposure. I learned to use the same principle with my ex. Spend as little time around him as possible, have as much distance as possible and if possible have another person present (shielding)."
Hang in there. It will get better.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
it is verbal torture. When I was there he was vacillating from I’m so sorry, to I would never give up on you why you giving g up on me, to the county having to bury him when he is living in his truck. I don’t see any positive improvements here so I left.
Just delaying rhetoric to keep him in the house in a bid to get back to his idea of normal. It has always worked before and when it doesn't this time expect implosion.
I think relapse is just around the corner. Get ready.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
All of the above doesn't look like recovery to me.
With my XABF, the suicide talk was more unfiltered honesty than attempts at manipulation, but either way, it is definitely not recovery talk. Took me a few years to know that the only healthy response I could have to all of the "woe is me" stuff, including the suicide comments, was to detach - sometimes with love and sometimes with less-than-love. Took me a few years to know that there is absolutely no help that I am in position to give to a romantic partner who is this down on himself and this negative about his life. Took me a few years to know that the only people equipped to truly help him are professionals and fellow program people and himself.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
All of the above doesn't look like recovery to me.
Just delaying rhetoric to keep him in the house in a bid to get back to his idea of normal. It has always worked before and when it doesn't this time expect implosion.
I think relapse is just around the corner. Get ready.
Just delaying rhetoric to keep him in the house in a bid to get back to his idea of normal. It has always worked before and when it doesn't this time expect implosion.
I think relapse is just around the corner. Get ready.
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